Nomination Essays

br1ankim24

5-Year Member
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Jun 4, 2010
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So I'm starting my nomination packets for the CA senators and will try to work on them gradually until I finish them during summer.

For Sen. Boxer,
"A short essay of 150-200 words explaining why you are seeking a nomination and want to be commissioned."

For Sen. Feinstein
"One page essay stating reasons for seeking this nomination, typed."

When I write these type of things, I like to write sincerely from my heart (desire to become an officer and serve), but I also want my writing to stand out and be unique.

I'm sure I share the same goals as many other applicants, but any advice on how to make my paper unique?
 
I have the same assignment (I live in sunny San Diego) and I've already drafted an essay for my MOC but have yet to write the essays for the senators.

150-200 words seems waaaaaaay too short for an essay though. That's like a few sentences.

My MOC essay ended up being 2 pages though, so condensing that to one page shouldn't be too bad.

I wrote about how my grandparents' stories assisted in my choice to serve (I can PM it to you if you want).
 
I have the same assignment (I live in sunny San Diego) and I've already drafted an essay for my MOC but have yet to write the essays for the senators.

150-200 words seems waaaaaaay too short for an essay though. That's like a few sentences.

My MOC essay ended up being 2 pages though, so condensing that to one page shouldn't be too bad.

I wrote about how my grandparents' stories assisted in my choice to serve (I can PM it to you if you want).

I don't come from a rich military background (cousin-grad from WP, dad served in Korean army) so I was going to write about how grateful I am as an American citizen and how I'm willing to uphold American way of life.

Anyways, sure, you're more than welcomed to send it.
maybe I could help you proofread or something too :thumb:
 
if there is any way you could pm that to me too,i would be sooo grateful. I'm having a hard time forming my thoughts into a clear cut,simply essay. (this is what AP classes do to me.) Good luck to you guys as well! I don't even think we can turn in the forms for Boxer or feinstein can we? Doesn't the website still say 2011?:smile:
 
Two pieces of advice from someone who is starting this for the second time around.

One, try not to read other peoples' essays. Sure it seems like good motivation and a way to get moving, but you will just start sounding like every other essay they read. If you are having trouble, take a break, write down a few thoughts, come back to it later. You don't have to finish it all right now.

Two, DON'T finish it right now. We still have until November 1st I believe. I'm not saying wait until the end of October, but don't turn it in so soon. Wait until your second semester grades are in. If you are going to a summer seminar, go to it and then wait a few weeks before you finish your essay. I went from around 80% sure about USNA, to seriously considering USAFA after summer seminar. I then did about 3 or 4 weeks of looking very deeply at different options and took a few weeks break. It wasn't until I started senior year that I decided 100%, USNA and the Navy was for me.
 
So I'm starting my nomination packets for the CA senators and will try to work on them gradually until I finish them during summer.

For Sen. Boxer,
"A short essay of 150-200 words explaining why you are seeking a nomination and want to be commissioned."

For Sen. Feinstein
"One page essay stating reasons for seeking this nomination, typed."

When I write these type of things, I like to write sincerely from my heart (desire to become an officer and serve), but I also want my writing to stand out and be unique.

I'm sure I share the same goals as many other applicants, but any advice on how to make my paper unique?

I would include a personal anecdote of why you want the nomination/ serve. Maybe say what made you decide to serve? GL!
 
For the application packet, did you use the online one or did you request for a packet in the mail directly?
 
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