Parental Support

I dont know if anyone else here has had the same situation but it was recently brought to my attention, by my parents, that they don't think i will make it through NAPS and later NA. they haven't asked me to reconsider my choice or persuade me to go somewhere else, they just laid it out in the open that they feel i wont make it.

Has anyone else had this situation and what can be done about it?
to be honest, i was a little shocked at this as up until now, i felt that they were behind me. now it doesn't feel so.

Hi,

As a parent, I would say you need to look at the context in which it was said. How are you treating your last few weeks of high school or what you are doing socially? Your current actions may be making them wonder out loud if you have what it takes. It could be that you are still on track and they are just wondering out loud how you will manage the pressures and work of attending NAPS and then the Naval Academy.

I would suggest you try to have a conversation with your parents to understand why they feel the way that they do. Success or failure is in your hands alone. If this is something you really want, you will succeed because it is something you want to do.

GoNavyMom

As I told another poster, the Navy feels you can succeed at NAPS. While having some "doubt" is human, I think the real question is: Do they support you in going? Perhaps a direct, respectful conversation would clear things up?

I currently do not have any parental support as well. My parents told me the exact same thing and I almost declined NAPS. I recently was kicked out of my house and I live with someone else. I went through not only emotional abuse, but physical abuse as well. I currently am in the process of getting a protective order against my parents and also filed charges against them. As of right now I have no one, nothing. My life is depending on me being successful at NAPS. Also with me being succesful there it will help me one day get my 4 year old sister out of the situation, hopefully Child protective services will get her out of there soon and one day I can get her back. Honestly I feel the exact same way and the only support I will have are my classmates, and I promise you I can and will be there for you. The goal of NAPS and the academy is not to stand out and do it on your own, but work with your peers. Ultimately your classmates will become your family, so don't worry about parental support because you will have support of 299 other people. Just focus on your goals and you can do it, and if you ever need a hand I will be there along with your other classmates.

Navy16,
You are finally at the point in life where your decisions make a difference. You are in a tough position, but you do need to seriously look at your parents' reasons for their statement.
1. Are they from a non-millitary background, and just can't see you in that role?
2. Is their fear of your serving active duty tainting their position? (This is a real fear for a parent, do not underestimate its effect on their belief's.)
3. Have you been conducting yourself in some manner that makes their position understandable?
Be brutally honest with yourself, and in your heart, you will know the answer.
If you feel they fall into one of the first two categories, your perseverence through the application process and many lengthy talks where you explain your conviction can work wonders.
If you know in your heart their feelings are based on the third contingent, you have some soul searching to do. More than likely (but not in all cases) your parents know you better than anyone, and have your best interests at heart. If this is the case, this might be your wake-up call, and you make an adult decision to conduct yourself in such a manner from here on out that they will view you differently and eventually may change their position.
Or you could be in Shelby's position. (Big hug for you Shelby...the tears are still wet on my cheeks from reading your post.)
The bottom line is that you control your destiny from here. It sounds melodramatic, but its true. This is no easy path you've set your sights on, but it is a noble one with opportunity for great rewards.
Best of luck to you.
Shelby, this country needs a boatload of people like you who are willing to do whatever it takes to make the necessary changes to make life better. May God bless your endeavors; you will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Shelby, you are about to get a whole boatload of new family members, some of whom will be your friends for life. The Armed Forces have been a way out and up for many, so take advantage of every bit of it. We had a sponsor son from a very challenged family, involving incarceration, foster families, a younger sister pregnant at 13 and not many options. He was a NAPSter, made his way through USNA with a few academic struggles, served proudly in the Marines, and now owns his own business. He also takes in nephews and nieces from back home who are facing challenges, and mentors them. Good luck to you and keep us posted on your progress. Down the road there will be other NAPSter's and midshipmen's parents of roommates, teammates, companymates or classmates who will just sweep you up into their family and spread around the love.

Navy16, some good posts here, just put your head down and keep plowing ahead a day at a time. Believe in yourself, envision your success and it can all happen for you. Perhaps at a quiet time for conversation, maybe during a walk or other activity, you can ask your parents what specific concerns they have, whether it's academic, self-discipline, maturity or whatever, in the context of an adult give-and-take conversation. Listen to what they have to say and let it digest a bit, without immediately reacting. Tell them you have heard what they said, and ask for their support for you to at least try this path, recognizing they have areas of concern. The Navy has years and years of experience of choosing people on whom to take a chance, and they have given you a vote of confidence by selecting you. They think you can make it; the rest is up to you!

Capt MJ said:

Shelby, you are about to get a whole boatload of new family members, some of whom will be your friends for life. The Armed Forces have been a way out and up for many, so take advantage of every bit of it. We had a sponsor son from a very challenged family, involving incarceration, foster families, a younger sister pregnant at 13 and not many options. He was a NAPSter, made his way through USNA with a few academic struggles, served proudly in the Marines, and now owns his own business. He also takes in nephews and nieces from back home who are facing challenges, and mentors them. Good luck to you and keep us posted on your progress. Down the road there will be other NAPSter's and midshipmen's parents of roommates, teammates, companymates or classmates who will just sweep you up into their family and spread around the love.

Navy16, some good posts here, just put your head down and keep plowing ahead a day at a time. Believe in yourself, envision your success and it can all happen for you. Perhaps at a quiet time for conversation, maybe during a walk or other activity, you can ask your parents what specific concerns they have, whether it's academic, self-discipline, maturity or whatever, in the context of an adult give-and-take conversation. Listen to what they have to say and let it digest a bit, without immediately reacting. Tell them you have heard what they said, and ask for their support for you to at least try this path, recognizing they have areas of concern. The Navy has years and years of experience of choosing people on whom to take a chance, and they have given you a vote of confidence by selecting you. They think you can make it; the rest is up to you!

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Fantastic advice. It is hard for me to comprehend a parent who would do such a thing to their child, but sadly I've seen it firsthand with classmates of our sons at USMAPS, USMA and USMMA. Everything CaptainMJ said is true, and this can be a new "family" for you, with all the warts and blessings that come with families. Keep a positive mental attitude and press on with this new chapter of your life! And congratulations on your accomplishments, you should be proud of them.

You are not alone here, you get get a whole big family at NAPS, then at the Academy. As well, as the posters here. Go for it.

God Bless and God Speed,

RGK

Shelby:
Many of us here, myself included, are pulling for you to succeed. You are not alone.

Navy16:
Even though I have been my daughter's biggest supporter through USNA, there were more than a few times prior to I-day when I made a comment such as, "You'll never make it through USNA like that." I made those comments when I wanted her to think about how her actions (talking back, having a sloppy room, etc.) would go over if she did the same thing at USNA. It's not my business to know the details of you differences with your parents, but I encourage you to have an adult-to-adult talk with them to try to understand what's happening to cause their lack of support.

Best wishes to both of you, and to all of your classmates!