Don't want parents on I-Day.

N

NavalOdyssey2016

5-Year Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2012
Messages
22
Basically I want to go to USNA alone and say my goodbyes at the airport. My parents don't seem to understand that and want to come with me when I have told them countless times that I do not want them to. Therefore they have elected to drive up so I can be on the plane alone but that makes it worse. I simply want to go through that phase by myself because this has been a goal of mine for years and it will be extremely meaningful for me to make the trip alone. Am I the only USNA appointee that does not want his/her parents to come on I-Day, there's parent's weekend for a reason. Any advice to fully convince them not to come, because I have tried almost everything I can think of without being rude.

Thanks.
 
needhelp said:
Basically I want to go to USNA alone and say my goodbyes at the airport. My parents don't seem to understand that and want to come with me when I have told them countless times that I do not want them to. Therefore they have elected to drive up so I can be on the plane alone but that makes it worse. I simply want to go through that phase by myself because this has been a goal of mine for years and it will be extremely meaningful for me to make the trip alone. Am I the only USNA appointee that does not want his/her parents to come on I-Day, there's parent's weekend for a reason. Any advice to fully convince them not to come, because I have tried almost everything I can think of without being rude.

Thanks.
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For me I could care less either way of them being there or not. However, I feel like it would be extremely inconvenient for them to be there. For example, they are not fluent in English and would be miserable standing outside Alumni Hall waiting for the Oath. Financially, it would be a slight burden; we can afford it but it is a significant amount of money (hotel plus gas).
 
My parents aren't coming. The cost thing helps, but I just told them, look, I want to do this alone. They respected that. All you can do is tell them your wishes. In the end, they'll do as they wish.

EDIT: And you have to take in your parents' perspectives, as tripleplay mentioned.
 
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From a mom

From a mom's perspective, remember this is also one of their proudest moments as well. Seeing you fulfill your dreams. I myself can hardly wait to see my son walk through the doors of Alumni Hall. He, like you, has worked extremely hard to get where you are.

I know that is not what you were looking for.
 
Just for a minute try to look at it from the parent's perspective. Yes, this has been a dream of yours for years. And for you, it might be easier for you to say your good-byes at the airport and move into your new life as a midshipman at USNA.

But remember, you will have over 1,000 classmates to bond with and share this experience. For your parents, they'll have the opportunity to meet and bond with other parents going through the same experience of sending their child off to USNA. So while you are running around doing all things I day, your parents will get a chance to meet and greet with other parents. This opportunity to hang out with other sets of parents will make it easier for them to cut those apron strings and send their child off to USNA.
 
I agree with tripleplay. They're not going to hold your hand. They couldn't if they wanted to. You worked for this moment and are rightfully proud. Guess what. So did they from before you were born. They molded, shaped and guided you to make you the young man you are today. Over the years more and more of the work and responsibility became yours. But make no mistake, they laid the foundation. As my former Naval Captain father-in-law used to say about his chiildren in a somewhat different context, he was always there for the laying of the keel but never for the launching of the ship. I would suggest you let your parents be there for the launching of this ship and share in the joy of the moment. You have the rest of your life to flap your wings after I Day.
 
Remind them about Parents Weekend, which is only like 6 weeks later, where they will be able to spend more time with you and learn more about the Academy experience from you (because you will have actually experienced it by then).
 
Many parents and families attend I Day, wanting to share in this very important day. As I read your post, I tried to respect that you have strong feelings about not wanting your parents there, but it is not just about you. Your parents are now becoming part of the Navy family. It sounds like they are trying to give you your space by allowing you to travel to USNA alone. They would be missing out on a lot of parent activities, if they didn't attend. There is a very informative parent meeting in Alumni Hall, where along with other information, your parents get to find out what days and time, you will be allowed to call home. Your day will be filled with a lot of indoc activities, and will not be spent with your parents. The only time you will see them is at the very end of the day, after you take the Oath of Office, before you march into Bancroft. You get about 20 minutes or so, to eat a quick sanchwich that your parents can purchase for you on the Yard! Really, you will be way too busy to be concerned about your parents on I Day.
 
It sounds so cliche to say you will understand when YOU have kids, but... you will understand when YOU have kids. You didn't get to I-Day by yourself, so let them share in this moment with you. I doubt you will regret it, and it is a day they will NEVER forget.
 
Yes true. I understand that you probably have worked very hard and have been very independent to get into the Naval Academy. But why not share it with your parents? They love you so much and are so proud of you. This is a big deal! Please let them go with you, you won't regret it.
 
You wouldn't be where you are today without them, like it or not. Let them go and swallow up your pride for the day.
 
needhelp said:
Basically I want to go to USNA alone and say my goodbyes at the airport. My parents don't seem to understand that and want to come with me when I have told them countless times that I do not want them to. Therefore they have elected to drive up so I can be on the plane alone but that makes it worse. I simply want to go through that phase by myself because this has been a goal of mine for years and it will be extremely meaningful for me to make the trip alone. Am I the only USNA appointee that does not want his/her parents to come on I-Day, there's parent's weekend for a reason. Any advice to fully convince them not to come, because I have tried almost everything I can think of without being rude.

Thanks.
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They have cared for you since you were a child and they spent many years raising you. Give them the chance to say goodbye. I know it won't be "cool" to have your parents around, but they really care for you. Watch this video... (Warning: May cause parents to tear up.)

http://youtu.be/YjAfdeG2s_4

Did you judge that guy or his father for their emotions? Think about it.
 
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Go to YouTube

needhelp said:
Basically I want to go to USNA alone and say my goodbyes at the airport. My parents don't seem to understand that and want to come with me when I have told them countless times that I do not want them to. Therefore they have elected to drive up so I can be on the plane alone but that makes it worse. I simply want to go through that phase by myself because this has been a goal of mine for years and it will be extremely meaningful for me to make the trip alone. Am I the only USNA appointee that does not want his/her parents to come on I-Day, there's parent's weekend for a reason. Any advice to fully convince them not to come, because I have tried almost everything I can think of without being rude.

Thanks.
Click to expand...

Hi NH,
Do a search on YouTube for Induction Day, USNA and check out some of the videos. My guess is you'll want your parents to witness some Navy tradition and pagentry.
Cheers...
 
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You're getting good advice here. I hope you'll listen to it.

Take the plane alone. Reflect on the achievement of your goal. Have meaningful moments. You deserve it.

Your parents also deserve to experience this. Great that you don't want to be rude, but you don't want to be unkind either. This means something to the people you love most. Let them reflect on your achievement of that goal, and have their own meaningful moments. I promise you, @ least once during your plebe year (probably during plebe summer), you'll need something. You'll be glad you showed your parents respect and understanding.

If you go to USNA on your own, you might see your parents for a few minutes when you check in (if they're generous enough to join you in line in the AM). You might see then for 20 minutes in the afternoon, and you may be glad they brought you a sandwich and a bottle of water. You'll see a handful of plebes who don't have parents on site, and they'll wish they were you, w/ parents who wanted to come, and were able to.

I don't mean to sound unkind, but you don't need to create independent challenges for yourself. USNA will do that for you.
 
Why wait for the airport to say your "goodbyes"?

Just leave a note on the refrigerator and catch a cab before they wake up.

They'll understand, after all they're just dumb ol' parents and (as you'll learn in Annapolis) your feelings come first.
 
Speaking as a parent of an applicant... (and perhaps I'm being too blunt)... it's not about you and what you want. However independent you may feel through this whole process, your parents were there in the background propping you up and helping. Their payback is getting to see your 'life events' live and in-person.
 
balloonattack911 said:
Remind them about Parents Weekend, which is only like 6 weeks later, where they will be able to spend more time with you and learn more about the Academy experience from you (because you will have actually experienced it by then).
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Perhaps NeedsHelp doesn't want them to show up for that either. Parents can be so embarrassing. Why in the world did they print up those matching Fred and Wilma sweatshirts with his picture on it and the legend "Proud Parents of Future Admiral N. Help"?

Remember, even if they never did anything else, they didn't drop the test tube.
 
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I think you'll regret not having your parents there. You may think that the Academy is the start to your own personal journey, but you have to remember that your Navy career is a journey for your whole family until the day you get out. Your parents are going to be your biggest supporters through your time in Plebe summer, plebe year, and throughout your time there.

Also think about it this way, even if you dont want them there you will be so busy that day that you won't even realize they're there until the 10 minutes you get to say goodbyes after the oath.
 
Trust me, a the friend of two people who did NOT have their parents come to our IDay, you don't want to be alone like after the , they wetteroath. While everyone else got last minute reassurance from their loved ones, they were stuck at the Mexican monument taking to some TAD ensigns. Bring your parents! ! ! You will not regret it!
 
Interesting that OP has not re-posted. Suspect answers are not to his/her liking.
I like the one that says something like: Say goodbye at home rather than airport.
The essence of all these posts are correct in that applicant did not get ther alone.
I guess he/she will not want parents at the wedding either because it is the "first step" on his journey of life. [I wonder if she still wants them to help finanicially with the wedding?]

Anyway, I suppose if my kid wanted to do it alone, I would let them. BUT, there would be a price to pay when it comes time to comeh ome for Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.; and, oh by the way, I really want to do NOLS but that costs extra and, I have a great opportunity for an exchange program in South America, but that costs extra. You want to do it alone? Go ahead on, but be a man/woman and be prepared to do it ALL alone.

And as for it not being "cool" to have your parents along? Believe me, there is NOBODY concerned about whether your have your parents along [so long as they don't try to bust through the barriers or something like that]. there are LOTS of parents [heck, I'd say MOST plebes have parents along] and they are not concerned about you.

Good luck. You sound like you're going to need it.
 
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