Help! Info needed

Single63

5-Year Member
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Aug 11, 2012
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My son will enter his senior (4th) year in Army ROTC next week. I received a call from him a bit ago with heartbreaking news. He received a DUI last night. I know he drinks; he is 22 so is not underage but aw clearly over the limit to be charged with DUI. He was stopped near campus driving 15 mph over the speed limit. I take this very seriously as I certainly believe he should pay the consequences for his actions and never forget this dark moment. That said, a military career is ALL he has ever dreamed of... I am heartbroken as this is very likely to end what he has worked so hard for. Has anyone had any experience with this or know of any? Is there ever a punishment that does not result in dismissal? I apologize for rambling but feel as if I am in shock. Please no lectures. I feel the burden of this very stupid decision he made quite heavily. I do not want to try to get him out of trouble. I just think if there is any way possible to preserve a career I should help him look into it. Thank you!
 
Single63,

I have no answer for you, my DS is only MSII this year, but I do hope those posters in the know get to your post/question soon.

Even the best kids(or young adults)make these incredibly heartbreaking bad decisions....my thoughts go out to you and yours as this situation plays out. Watching a child lose something or struggle is the hardest part of parenting.
 
Thank you Ohio. You are spot on with the toughest part of parenting. Such a great kid. Such a dumb mistake that may change the course of his life. Hard day.
 
The cadets I have known who received a DUI were subsequently dismissed and not allowed to enlist (in order to pay back their tuition).

Perhaps if the charge gets downgraded Cadet Command will refrain from dismissal but with the recent let-go's I have seen from my previous MSIV class for poor performance and grades I don't think that leniency is likely. Tolerance for alcohol in ROTC is very low especially with DUIs.

Good luck
 
I'm truly sorry for you and your son. I know good people sometimes make bad decisions. But I will be honest and say that in my 4 years of ROTC, I never once heard of someone getting a second chance after a DUI. Underage drinking...sometimes that can be recovered from. But a DUI is just one of those things.

In the larger picture, I'd say that despite the consequences he will face, its a lot better than what could've happened...if he had gotten into an accident and seriously hurt himself or someone else.

It may be the end of his career as a military officer. But that doesn't mean its the end of his life. He's still young and he will no doubt learn from his mistake. This is the kind of time when he will need strong support from his family, and I'd say he's lucky to have parents like you.
 
Yes Nick, I am trying to keep it in perspective and help him see that while it may be the end of his military dreams it is not The End. Harsh lesson. And you are also correct that it certainly could have been much worse (accident, injury, death). Takes my breath away.
 
Hire an attorney Monday for the DUI.

You may also want to consider looking into hiring an attorney with military knowledge if he is on scholarship because they can come after him for that scholarship money too as in you owe the govt X dollars and will now not commission. See Gojira's post (her DS didn't have a DUI, but was scholarship and did not commission, handed a 143K bill)

I am sorry for the pain you are feeling. I know there is nothing anyone here can say to ease it. Right now you need to see if hiring an attorney can assist/protect him in every manner.

As Nick said, he is lucky to have parents like you.
 
How does one even go about finding an attorney with military/JAG experience in a small college town? I do have the name of an attorney to call Monday but... He has really made a mess. 143k??? Brings it to a whole different dimension. Wow.
 
How does one even go about finding an attorney with military/JAG experience in a small college town? I do have the name of an attorney to call Monday but... He has really made a mess. 143k??? Brings it to a whole different dimension. Wow.


Good advice on a attorney with militiary experience. Google it and see what you can find. Call on monday. Check references if possible online.

Keep it in perpective as a parent. Be strong for him. Be there for him. Help him through it. Life is a long haul.

I wish you both the best possible outcome.
 
Good advice on a attorney with militiary experience. Google it and see what you can find. Call on monday. Check references if possible online.

Keep it in perpective as a parent. Be strong for him. Be there for him. Help him through it. Life is a long haul.

I wish you both the best possible outcome.

I am doing my best to stay strong for him but I will be honest..it is nice to be able to express my fears and feelings here. I did google military attorney (have spent all day online & on phone) and was amazed at the number of attorneys with military background. This is my first time up to bat with something like this.

Thank you all for letting me ramble. I am sad.
 
Sorry to hear this single. My kids "old salt" had a DUI last year and he was dropped from NROTC. I hope an attorney can help. He probably should speak with the attorney prior to informing cadre but others here probably have more knowledge in these matters.
 
Disenrollment is a possibility. If so, payback is also a possibility. My kid experienced this his final semester and was for an offense that was relatively minor - out of weight standards.

You will probably want to talk to a military lawyer.

Good luck. I am so sorry. It is tough on our kids when their dreams are crushed. Hard on parents to watch their kids go through this, too.
 
We actually hired an attorney in DC and telephone conferences and sent emails/attachments of son's file.

Hoping your son went to a cheaper school than mine.
 
Disenrollment is a probability, not a possibility. Your son should contact his PMS ASAP if he hasn't already. His only hope is if he is the kind of Cadet that a PMS would go to bat by convincing a Brigade Commander and a Commanding General that your son should be commissioned despite his poor judgement. If he waits a week, and after he's talked to a lawyer, he's just exhibiting more poor judgement. This is a decision that is going to be made by commanders, not judges and lawyers. Your son needs to start figuring out how he will pay for his last year of college, how he will get a job upon graduation, and how he plans to reimburse the government. I don't think anyone who is being honest will tell you there is anything but the slightest chance that your son will ever be an Army Officer.

That being said, I have seen Cadets overcome DUI's in the past (both ended up in the reserves), but that was a while ago, and I don't see it happening in the current environment.
 
Clarksonarmy is right.

Different environment, now. We have all heard anecdotally kids who stayed in unit after something big, but the ROTC world has changed.

We have done pretty much everything - lawyer, getting elected reps to plead case. Enlistment wasn't option, so payback is imminent. I have no idea how my kid will pay back such a large amount - these aren't the kind of loans that can be paid in 10 or 20 years.

Your kid needs to talk to his command, now. See if he will go to bat for him.
 
I agree with Clarkson and Gojira's advice he needs to contact his PMS this morning. The police may inform the school, and the school may in turn inform ROTC. That is how it works at our 2 kids colleges if they get a DUI in the town/county the school is located. He doesn't want to inform them after the police.

As for military experienced attorneys you would be surprised how many of them are out there until you remember each branch has JAG, and those officers go onto have another career later on in life.

Having someone experienced with the military assists you because this is not just paying a fine and revocation of their DL, which in all likely will happen for him personally, it is about a career issue.

Hope for the best and be proactive regarding attorneys, because that is all you can do now. That and keep coming back to us anytime you feel the need to rant, scream, cry, whatever.

Not one of us here thinks/believes we raised angels. We accept the fact that they are just like we were when we were their age. We all can relate to your fears and emotions because we are parents too.


Please understand this may not be a 1,2,3 out within weeks. It may be months before it is settled. He needs to return to school and keep on top of his PFT and academics. He can't toss in the towel now and believe it is all over. If he does do that and by the time he realizes it worked out for the best, academically/PFT he could have shot himself in the foot. Hard to pull up the gpa in Nov after taking mid terms and pulling a 1.5 gpa at that time.

He needs to acknowledge this issue, but he needs to remember even if he does get dis-enrolled he will need a job after graduation, and that cgpa will matter for hiring purposes in the civilian world.
 
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A question here. A DUI arrest and a DUI conviction are two different things. Do ROTC repercussions only occur if there is a conviction? I know of a couple of people that were able to get DUI's reduced to reckless driving.
 
Packer,

I can only speak for our DS that went for a TS as an AFROTC cadet, any conviction matters for TS clearance.
 
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