The only time I really saw issues was when they didn't realize that the AF will do everything in their power to base you together, but the key word is "theater".
Jeannie's DH is a 16 pilot, she is an 15E pilot. As they went up the ranks it became harder to be stationed near each other because of career jobs. For example, Jeannie was offered a squadron command at the same time as her DH. Hers was at SJAFB, his was at Shaw, both in Carolina, but one was North and one was South. They were fortunate because her command was a training squadron and his was operational. The reason that is important goes back to the kids issue. If both were operational, they both could be sent away at the same time. Additionally, as hard as a long distance marriage is when you have kids, it is harder if one goes away for 4-6 months, and upon their return the other one leaves for 4-6 months, basically a yr. Understand with AEFs like the 16 and 15E, the rule of thumb has been you deploy to the sandbox 4-6 months every 18 months. So for them it would be 2 yrs out of 3 they are apart.
I have to say, from my friends that were in dual ADAF marriages, there were 1 or 2 paths they took.
1. One spouse, will take a desk job for the great career opportunity for the spouse.
2. One spouse will resign/retire their commission because it becomes too hard to advance your career when both of you are O5s...jobs matter for promotion, and if you follow the job there is no guarantee both of you will be assigned near each other.
I know 5 guys, all fliers, that actually gave up their career for her. The thing they had in common was how they all responded when asked why they were leaving. "She has a better chance of getting a star than me".
It was a common sense decision. The funny thing is they all became Mr.Dad and hung with the wives socially during the days, but when it was functions at the squadrons he was one of the guys because he use to be one of the guys. Most of them will tell you they got the good end of the deal. I do not know of a squadron that there isn't a Mr. Dad.
As a realtor dealing with military families in No VA. I would say it was a 50/50 situation of her/him AD. We sold one of our homes in NC to an AD officer with a non-AD husband.
I forgot to also state to cupcake, she doesn't even need to walk too far when she is at the AFA to see that it works. Gen. Gould's wife, Phyllis is a Col. in the AF. She opted to get out and go Reserves, but they did it and IMPO did it well since both of their boys (way before he went to the AFA) graduated from the AFA.
It can happen, but again, you are 18, and you have at least 5 yrs before this becomes an issue. Who knows what will happen in the future. Live for today, tomorrow is still tomorrow and life tends to get in the way even if it is just 24 hrs.