Yes, I'm proud of our DD, but I thought posting her essay might also provide some inspiration for those struggling to write something different from the norm.
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: When our 16 year old DD presented her essay outline/idea to us, our reaction was that it was a "high risk - high reward" approach. And we told her that if she started down this path of a narrative style she had to go all the way with it and execute it really well, or don't even try it all. That was all she needed to hear...
The prompt was something around the characteristics/attributes that would make you a good cadet at an Academy; 300 words or less.
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Sweat rolls slowly down my face, to my jaw, off the tip of my chin and soaks into the growing dark pool collecting on my shirt. I can hear nothing but my breathing, a little staggered, rapidly trying to intake more oxygen than my lungs are capable of. Suddenly, I am all too aware of the pain signals my body is sending. My calves scream in defiance each time I take a step and push off the ground again. When a body is under this much strain, the brain is only capable of producing fleeting thoughts. The only ones I can produce are: It’s just a routine workout like the other five I’ll do this week. Why give my all? This is running.
I shove the pain into the back of my mind, letting my brain process the information it devised. Questioning the motive for tasks that are considered unimportant is normal. The level of difficulty seems unequivalent to the weight of the run. Like hundreds of times before, I mentally compare this run to a typical day of physical training I will face at a Service Academy. I am reminded again that at an Academy, the routine formations are just as important as the grand parades; much like an everyday run is just as valued as the big race. It is in that moment that I know that I will never quit in either situation. The realization dawns on me like never before; somehow this run is different. After years of questioning my motives, I finally discover that determination and perseverance are what drive me to never quit and do my best in any situation. They are a part of my being that will never change. I look at the road ahead, enlightened, and run faster.
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IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: When our 16 year old DD presented her essay outline/idea to us, our reaction was that it was a "high risk - high reward" approach. And we told her that if she started down this path of a narrative style she had to go all the way with it and execute it really well, or don't even try it all. That was all she needed to hear...
The prompt was something around the characteristics/attributes that would make you a good cadet at an Academy; 300 words or less.
*************************
Sweat rolls slowly down my face, to my jaw, off the tip of my chin and soaks into the growing dark pool collecting on my shirt. I can hear nothing but my breathing, a little staggered, rapidly trying to intake more oxygen than my lungs are capable of. Suddenly, I am all too aware of the pain signals my body is sending. My calves scream in defiance each time I take a step and push off the ground again. When a body is under this much strain, the brain is only capable of producing fleeting thoughts. The only ones I can produce are: It’s just a routine workout like the other five I’ll do this week. Why give my all? This is running.
I shove the pain into the back of my mind, letting my brain process the information it devised. Questioning the motive for tasks that are considered unimportant is normal. The level of difficulty seems unequivalent to the weight of the run. Like hundreds of times before, I mentally compare this run to a typical day of physical training I will face at a Service Academy. I am reminded again that at an Academy, the routine formations are just as important as the grand parades; much like an everyday run is just as valued as the big race. It is in that moment that I know that I will never quit in either situation. The realization dawns on me like never before; somehow this run is different. After years of questioning my motives, I finally discover that determination and perseverance are what drive me to never quit and do my best in any situation. They are a part of my being that will never change. I look at the road ahead, enlightened, and run faster.
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