Serious Question

fifi5

Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2015
Messages
65
Why do we as parents become crazed at this process. Stalking forums, checking stats, comparing kids? I know not all do this but many do. Just look at this board. My DS has applied to UPenn, Dartmouth, Notre Dame, Duke also but the same intensity is not there. Is there even a forum for those places? What do you think it is about the service academies that causes this frenzy? I posted here because DS is only interested in Navy but I know many apply everywhere. I am really interested in all your responses.
 
You see the same intensity on the ROTC forum threads. The stalking forums, checking stats, comparing kids all really involves looking for some reassurance that DS or DD has a (hopefully more than reasonable) chance of getting appointed or getting a scholarship. I know I did the same 5 years ago now. Another reason for seeking this reassurance is that most of us have no idea what the process is, or even how to keep the various ROTC programs straight.
 
It is a fascinating thing to be a part of and observe. I just watched the episode of Mad Men where the dr.'s wife is flipped out that her son has a low number for the draft (Vietnam) yet here we are 40+ years later fretting over our kids serving. Wanting them to take on ISIS. I am curious and fascinated by the whole process!
 
Why do we as parents become crazed at this process. Stalking forums, checking stats, comparing kids? I know not all do this but many do. Just look at this board. My DS has applied to UPenn, Dartmouth, Notre Dame, Duke also but the same intensity is not there. Is there even a forum for those places? What do you think it is about the service academies that causes this frenzy?

fifi5: Since only 1% of the population serves in the military, the service academies and ROTC are unknowns to many of those who apply to them. Process, details, terms, commitments, etc are new and confusing. This forum serves to help answer these things.

The application process at a civilian school is much more known and comparative statistics are provided by schools, ranking organizations, and other sources. Pay an application fee, send your test scores and you can apply anywhere. There are no physical fitness tests, interviews, etc.

I can't speak for the other schools you listed, but I know a lot about Notre Dame. There is a tremendous frenzy around the school from a well-established Alumni network, Information nights held around the country, tours, on-campus interviews, summer seminars, summer camps, etc. The university gladly posts the stats of its incoming classes and boasts about its geographic influence. You can bet that parents and prospective students measure themselves against this benchmark before applying and seek any "edge" they can in the application process (letters of recommendation, participation in summer events, donations, etc).

Its not really all that different from what you describe at the service academies.
 
I think it basically comes down to this. Gaining appointment and attending the USNA was the single most important thing in my DS's life the last 2 years of HS. As his parent, it became mine/ ours as well. Believe me, it was all I could do at times not post something that would seek validation of my child's accomplishments. We all want to see our children's dreams come true, and for some parents it's just a bit more difficult to sit on the sidelines quietly during the admissions process.
 
Last edited:
Why do we as parents become crazed at this process. Stalking forums, checking stats, comparing kids? I know not all do this but many do. Just look at this board. My DS has applied to UPenn, Dartmouth, Notre Dame, Duke also but the same intensity is not there. Is there even a forum for those places? What do you think it is about the service academies that causes this frenzy?

fifi5: Since only 1% of the population serves in the military, the service academies and ROTC are unknowns to many of those who apply to them. Process, details, terms, commitments, etc are new and confusing. This forum serves to help answer these things.

The application process at a civilian school is much more known and comparative statistics are provided by schools, ranking organizations, and other sources. Pay an application fee, send your test scores and you can apply anywhere. There are no physical fitness tests, interviews, etc.

I can't speak for the other schools you listed, but I know a lot about Notre Dame. There is a tremendous frenzy around the school from a well-established Alumni network, Information nights held around the country, tours, on-campus interviews, summer seminars, summer camps, etc. The university gladly posts the stats of its incoming classes and boasts about its geographic influence. You can bet that parents and prospective students measure themselves against this benchmark before applying and seek any "edge" they can in the application process (letters of recommendation, participation in summer events, donations, etc).

Its not really all that different from what you describe at the service academies.
Very Interesting about Notre Dame. Thank you for sharing. We are actually going to a forum night in 2 weeks and it will be interesting to observe. I never really thought of the alumni or the frenzy that could occur with legacies.
 
I think it basically comes down to this. Gaining appointment and attending the USNA was the single most important thing in my DS's life the last 2 years of HS. As his parent, it became mine/ ours as well. Believe me, it was all I could do at times not post something that would seek validation of my child's accomplishments. We all want to see our children's dreams come true, and for some parents it's just a bit more difficult to sit on the sidelines quietly during the admissions process.
I agree, the preparation and planning that we have watched our kids do in order to even fill out the pre-application for NASS began 2 years prior adds to the investment that the whole family has in a process.
 
Because some insist on living vicariously thru their DS or DD?

or

Because some really care for their DS and DD, and realize that going to a SA is much more serious and dangerious than going to Harvard to become a Bankster?
 
Its such a long process. I think we come here to at times commiserate and reassure ourselves that everyone else is going through the same thing. Op hopefully your son is also applying to NROTC?
 
Its such a long process. I think we come here to at times commiserate and reassure ourselves that everyone else is going through the same thing. Op hopefully your son is also applying to NROTC?
Yes, plan B is NROTC and then there is the C,D,E,F. Which that is something as a parent will have to research on another thread. The whole paying a deposit for other schools, having son register for classes just in case. Not sure how that works with timing.
 
Because some insist on living vicariously thru their DS or DD?

Not sure about vicariously, but often times parents see a child's failure as reflection of themselves or their parenting. I am not a psych major so......;)
 
I think it more the latter........more serious and dangerious than going to Harvard to become a Bankster
 
My brother left West Point in 1971 right after Christmas of 1970. It was a difficult time in our country with Vietnam and how the soldiers were treated. Cadets would visit New York with wigs and hippy clothes. My father, a career Army Officer, felt disgraced and our family was catapulted into complete dysfunction. (the Great Santini movie was my life). Shortly after, the death of another brother who had plans to join the Air Force rocked our world again.

So when my DD announced last November she was going to apply to West Point and the whole Academy/ROTC prigrams I was so relieved to find the forums.

Reading the stories of parents', students, officers and support personnel has been enlightening, and filled with so many emotions. And of course, the subtle humor is what keeps me reading.

I just wish my family had the forums back in the late 60's. What a difference it might have made.

Thank you forums.
 
I'm a little confused by your post. There is quite the intensity on the forums at collegeconfidential website.
 
I'm a little confused by your post. There is quite the intensity on the forums at collegeconfidential website.
Agree with your opinion regarding College Confidential. Having survived 3 consecutive year of the college admissions process with my kids, I'd say the intensity was evenly divided among my regular college attendees and my mid. And for my mid it wasn't just USNA he was all fired up about.
 
Why do we as parents become crazed at this process. Stalking forums, checking stats, comparing kids? I know not all do this but many do. Just look at this board. My DS has applied to UPenn, Dartmouth, Notre Dame, Duke also but the same intensity is not there. Is there even a forum for those places? What do you think it is about the service academies that causes this frenzy? I posted here because DS is only interested in Navy but I know many apply everywhere. I am really interested in all your responses.
My oldest DD goes to UPenn, on a full scholarship. Please PM if you have any questions. :) Relieved to have this forum exists because of comments like "Oh, a service academy is that like regular college". My DS has a desire to attend a SA and I as his parent needed to find out all that it entailed. However, I spent time also researching his Plan B and C too.
 
Last edited:
I am sorry, I should have been more clear. The intensity is not there for my DS. I understand that many many kids are very focused on one of their top choices. I think what I was trying to convey is that with the other colleges there is no medical, no BGO, no hoops to jump through and the other colleges don't care about football injuries. It takes away the intensity that way. Sorry if I mispoke. Just curious how others feel during this process that is all.
 
I am sorry, I should have been more clear. The intensity is not there for my DS. I understand that many many kids are very focused on one of their top choices. I think what I was trying to convey is that with the other colleges there is no medical, no BGO, no hoops to jump through and the other colleges don't care about football injuries. It takes away the intensity that way. Sorry if I mispoke. Just curious how others feel during this process that is all.
For one there s no reason apologize, after all this forum offers support. I for one, felt overwhelmed by the process but then again I am not the one applying. :)
 
We are very thankful that this forum exists. So many helpful posts going back years and years. We were totally overwhelmed by the process. My wife assigned me the task of helping DD navigate the DoDMETS/DoDMERB process. In spite of being assigned only this single task, I still managed to not quite complete it correctly giving DD incorrect advice when we were confused by the DoDMETS website.

I think of College Confidential as the equivalent of slowing down to look at a car accident on the freeway; SA Forum is the equivalent of the First Responder who rushes over to help. That being said, College Confidential can offer more entertainment value as alumni from various schools allow their posts to quickly degenerate into flame wars....
 
Off topic, but on topic.

I have been here for a very long time. Actually when I went through this with our DS, SAF was just starting. College Confidential had a huge forum over there. Basically they owned the market. They had just as many on their SA forum as here, but overtime everyone slowly left to come here.
~ Mainly, in my opinion, posters started saying there is this site called SAF you should go there.

I believe college confidential is actually a great resource because we always say have plan B in place, which traditionally also means ROTC and their scholarships. Many posters here will come on the ROTC forum and ask about certain colleges and their ROTC program. That usually doesn't work over here unless the college is a powerhouse for ROTC.
~ IE if your DS/DD is applying to Nebraska, you probably would get more replies regarding ROTC on college confidential than here because the likelihood that a student or parent knows a ROTC student attending Nebraska currently, than someone here. They know about important things to many posters, such as, ROTC housing.
~~ In that case they would be the 1st responders for Nebraska ROTC units only.
~~~ Yet, SAF becomes the 1st responders from the reality check once in the program from the overall perspective. How the system works across the nation.

I still go to college confidential, because there is a great parent forum. You can learn lots of things. Everything from a new product to how to fix something in your home without paying out the nose to restaurants for vacations.

Back on topic.
 
Back
Top