Anyone with a few years experience has a bad CO story, stupid Lieutenant anecdote or a hilarious junior enlisted story. It is the fodder of many military social gatherings (formal and informal) and usually fueled with lots of adult beverages. Not sure if they all rise to the level of "absurd" but they are sure funny!
Back in the day, we all had those black government issue pens that were found everywhere. Not sure if the modern military/ government runs on those Bic classics, but it sure did back then. At one of my duty stations, the Supply Officer announced (with fanfare) that he was only going to order black replacement ink cartridges and would no longer order the whole pen. There was nearly a riot in the Staff meeting with this was announced. Guess he thought he was going to save the unit money.
In the meantime, at the end of every fiscal year, we would be tasked to going to the field and burning up all the munitions that were left over. Under the "use it or lose it" rules, the Infantry Battalion had to burn up all the munitions. I remember taking my Platoon to the grenade range and spending an entire week throwing hand grenades. Another platoon was sent to the machine gun range to fire rounds down range for an entire week. Talk about waste - and this idiot Supply Officer was worried about some pens??
Was this a Navy E-7? That list is classified. USNavy personnel at pay grade E-7 are referred to as Chief. Other branches refer to their E-7s as E-7s.As a div o, had one of my sailors (E-4) came up on a mast where he was drunk and broke the mirror off a truck owned by an E-7. When the CO asked if he had anything to say for himself, he said, "Sir, what I do on my own time is none of your business."
I think they're still mopping up the remains.
.Was this a Navy E-7? That list is classified. USNavy personnel at pay grade E-7 are referred to as Chief. Other branches refer to their E-7s as E-7s.As a div o, had one of my sailors (E-4) came up on a mast where he was drunk and broke the mirror off a truck owned by an E-7. When the CO asked if he had anything to say for himself, he said, "Sir, what I do on my own time is none of your business."
I think they're still mopping up the remains.
Captain’s mast- or Article 15 in the Army.
We got a call that a specialist (E-4), in my company had been arrested at the barracks.
The barracks were in an area of Ft Bragg called “Smoke Bomb Hill” and the name was appropriate.
Now this specialist was... shall we say “country”. I think from the hills of West Virginia. Think a cross between Andy Griffen and and Uma Thurman.
I guess bow season was coming up and she felt she needed to prepare so she put a deer target in the courtyard and was using the outdoor stairwell as a makeshift deer stand. I guess some soldiers tired of “running the gauntlet” and called the MPs on her.
Comes time for her Article 15 and she starts explaining. “Well sir, there ain’t rightly any regs against bows in the barracks. So as I’s sees it I wasn’t right breaking no regulations.” I look at the 1SG who is looking over the regs. He shrugs his shoulders. No regulation against bows in the barracks. No regulation against shooting arrows in the barracks.
She then launches into an explanation about how safe she is... yada yada yada. Didn’t shoot at anyone. Said she kept hollering at them that it was clear but they kept huddling behind the cars. She was mesmerizing. Sounded good to me. The 1SG looked at me incredulously. “Seriously sir??? Bows and arrows on Smoke Bomb Hill???”
It didn’t matter. That evening the post SOP was updated outlawing bows in the barracks.
I actually thought the soft boards looked good on my sweater.I remember the kerfuffle on that.
I ran it by MCPON, senior enlisted men and women, flags, senior officers, JOs. The 3-star walked it in to CNO and VCNO. The decision was done in 72 hours, to quietly flip what was the required version, and it was slipped into Uni Regs - about 25 years after women were permanently assigned to ships. Those who wanted to take the skirt and pumps option could do so, but all now only needed to take the required version, now pants, which they could actually wear on the ship as the occasion demanded.
> My first "real" job in my Squadron was Legal Officer-- I was new, just put on JG, and it was an eye opening experience. I asked for the position when I checked in because it was recommended by one of my flight instructors as a good way for a JO in the squadron to get face time with the Skipper. (A P3 squadron then had 60+ officers, so the new Ensign/JG kinda of blended in during the first year). Of course, it wasn't always good face time, as I was always dealing with the bad news, but I learned a lot of good lessons from the experience. The most important was the importance of chain of command support - my Skipper would call in the entire chain of command prior to mast, we'd sit and discuss what our guy did, and in most cases, the outcome was determined before the accused entered. When a good sailor did something stupid, he got his a$$ chewed, but the Skipper and CMC went to great lengths to avoid screwing up his career, but all bets were off if the Chain of Command thought the guy was just a screw up.We could do a stand-alone thread on “Absurd Stories/Excuses We Have Heard at Mast/NJP/Office Hours.” Add in “Service Academy Adjudications/Admin Hearings.”
Was this a Navy E-7? That list is classified. USNavy personnel at pay grade E-7 are referred to as Chief. Other branches refer to their E-7s as E-7s.
We do police our own which is why I said the list is classified. Hopefully the E-7s don’t become known by those outside the Mess. Was just trying to provide a little training to those who might unknowingly call a Navy Chief an E-7. Regardless of the poster’s intent, I thought an opportunity to educate required my comment. I probably write lots of things which fall into the “this probably isn’t the place” category. That of course has me evaluate my place here but the forum could use something other than the “what are my chances” threads and kids asking “please tell me I can get in with all these zits.” Anyway, thanks.> My first "real" job in my Squadron was Legal Officer-- I was new, just put on JG, and it was an eye opening experience. I asked for the position when I checked in because it was recommended by one of my flight instructors as a good way for a JO in the squadron to get face time with the Skipper. (A P3 squadron then had 60+ officers, so the new Ensign/JG kinda of blended in during the first year). Of course, it wasn't always good face time, as I was always dealing with the bad news, but I learned a lot of good lessons from the experience. The most important was the importance of chain of command support - my Skipper would call in the entire chain of command prior to mast, we'd sit and discuss what our guy did, and in most cases, the outcome was determined before the accused entered. When a good sailor did something stupid, he got his a$$ chewed, but the Skipper and CMC went to great lengths to avoid screwing up his career, but all bets were off if the Chain of Command thought the guy was just a screw up.We could do a stand-alone thread on “Absurd Stories/Excuses We Have Heard at Mast/NJP/Office Hours.” Add in “Service Academy Adjudications/Admin Hearings.”
Was this a Navy E-7? That list is classified. USNavy personnel at pay grade E-7 are referred to as Chief. Other branches refer to their E-7s as E-7s.
> With all due respect to the Senior Chief (sincerely ...most people that say that don't really mean it! ), there are certainly E-7's in the Navy who really aren't Chiefs. That could be the topic of a whole 'nother thread , but this probably isn't the place. I will say however, the Chief's Mess is pretty good about policing and training their own, and I will also say that I never ran into a Navy E-8 or E-9, they have all earned the title Senior Chief and Master Chief. One of my favorite stories is checking into the squadron and meeting the Command Master Chief (CMC). I looked up on his wall, and he and an E-4 or E-5 eval that was dated within a few weeks of the day I was born. I commented on it, and he smiled and explained that was when he finally started getting good evals.