Does anyone mind reading over my NROTC application essay and giving me any advice? Whether it be grammatical or content related. Thanks!
Discuss your reasons for wanting to become a Naval Officer. Specifically comment on leadership positions you've held, the challenges you have faced and the lessons you have learned. (Limit 2500 characters)
I want to become a Naval Officer because I believe I was born a natural leader, and I can inflict positive change to whomever I am leading. At the young age of seven, I was awarded the SC NENA/APCO 911 Child Hero Award for taking the initiative to call 911 when my father was having a seizure due to his epilepsy, and throughout my life, I have held myself accountable to make sure I am always the best leader to ones around me. Whether it be leading my football team as captain to the State Semi-Finals, leading my soccer team through to the State Finals, leading my squad through PT drills in JROTC, or even just being there for someone whenever they need me no matter the circumstance. Throughout all of my experiences of leading, I have learned that not everyone is led the same way. For example, in any given group you could have the person who needs reassurance for them to perform better, or you could have the person you need to get onto them for them to get fired up and be the best version of themselves. Another reason I push myself to be a leader is that I have to be strong for my mom. My parents have been divorced for as long as I can remember, and my mom does everything for me, so in return, I make sure I am the best version of myself for her. In addition to making my mother proud, I have to keep my dad proud because my sister and I are the light of his life. My father has lost a lot due to his trauma-induced epilepsy affecting his brain, but nothing makes him happier than when he sees me and my sister succeed. All in all, I know how proud I could make everyone, including myself, by becoming a Naval Officer and serving for my country, a dream of mine ever since I could remember. I am also certain, wherever I am, I can make a positive impact on the ones around me, as I believe that is the type of leader I am.
Discuss your reasons for wanting to become a Naval Officer. Specifically comment on leadership positions you've held, the challenges you have faced and the lessons you have learned. (Limit 2500 characters)
I want to become a Naval Officer because I believe I was born a natural leader, and I can inflict positive change to whomever I am leading. At the young age of seven, I was awarded the SC NENA/APCO 911 Child Hero Award for taking the initiative to call 911 when my father was having a seizure due to his epilepsy, and throughout my life, I have held myself accountable to make sure I am always the best leader to ones around me. Whether it be leading my football team as captain to the State Semi-Finals, leading my soccer team through to the State Finals, leading my squad through PT drills in JROTC, or even just being there for someone whenever they need me no matter the circumstance. Throughout all of my experiences of leading, I have learned that not everyone is led the same way. For example, in any given group you could have the person who needs reassurance for them to perform better, or you could have the person you need to get onto them for them to get fired up and be the best version of themselves. Another reason I push myself to be a leader is that I have to be strong for my mom. My parents have been divorced for as long as I can remember, and my mom does everything for me, so in return, I make sure I am the best version of myself for her. In addition to making my mother proud, I have to keep my dad proud because my sister and I are the light of his life. My father has lost a lot due to his trauma-induced epilepsy affecting his brain, but nothing makes him happier than when he sees me and my sister succeed. All in all, I know how proud I could make everyone, including myself, by becoming a Naval Officer and serving for my country, a dream of mine ever since I could remember. I am also certain, wherever I am, I can make a positive impact on the ones around me, as I believe that is the type of leader I am.