PPW and Girlfriend

N

NewNavyMom

5-Year Member
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Dec 13, 2009
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It's still several months away but my son and his girlfriend are trying to get their plans made for how and when they will see one another as this journey begins. He has asked if it would be OK with us if she attends PPW. I have looked at last year's schedule of events and it seems that there would be adequate time for him to visit with his family and his girlfriend. At this point in his life, she is very important to him, probably more so than the old parents.

Any experience and/or advice?
 
There was lots of chatter on this topic a year ago as Class of 2013 was preparing to head off to USNA. Look at the threads and use the search feature to find pertinent posts. There was a wide variety of ways families were dealing with girlfriends.

FWIW, few relationships survive USNA. Son reported that about 4 weeks into plebe summer, cadre asked for a show of hands for how many had received a Dear John or Dear Jane letter. Many raised their hands. Hard for the significant other at home to realize the contact is infrequent. He had a roommate the first semester who talked to his girlfriend EVERY night after lights out. Much to the dismay of son and the other room mate. The lovesick boy's grades suffered and his roommates were so angry they requested he be moved out at semester.

Son also has two friends at USAFA, both in their first year. One girlfriend lasted into the fall, the other didn't make the summer. These kids are walking such a different path than their peers, it strains relationships.

That said, some survive, and this forum is full of commentary on how to comingle family and gf/bf needs.
 
My son also asked that we bring his GF to PPW. We really never thought twice about it. She stayed with us at the hotel and we all spent our time together like old times at home, (kind of). But I will say that I was sure to get the first hug after they were dismissed from formation that weekend, and it was the best and longest hug I ever got from my son. Dad got the next and then GF, (and I think that was a good hug too!) They are still together and they swap journals when they see each other, (we are in Colorado, so it's not that often). 3 and 1/2 years and still going strong. Yes, many don't make it even past Plebe Summer, but it can happen. They both have a long haul ahead of them, but their working to stay together. Now planning for Herndon, and yes, she will be there too! :)
 
I think sometimes we parents forget, while they are our children, this journey they are embarking on is an adult one and as such we should allow them to make this decision. Will they all last.....probably not, but it is their journey, not ours.
 
Agree that this was hashed and rehashed to death last year.:smile:

If seeing the GF is really important to your son, best to figure out a way to make it happen. My personal opinion -- in hindsight -- is that including GFs happens for a number of reasons. First, of course, is mid wants to see her. Second, is to show his friends how hot she is (sorry, being honest here). Third, in many cases, he wants to convince himself and her that things haven't changed. They have, of course, and both will need to deal with that, but not necessarily after 6 weeks.

There are definitely tales of relationships that survive, altho many more that don't. As an aside, I think it's much harder for a female mid to retain her relationship with a non-military guy during USNA. I can't think of a single example from my class . . .
 
While this subject may have been hashed and rehashed last year...................there are a new group of relationships every year and a new group of parents that have those same questions.
 
I appreciate being able to have the conversation this year as you are the people that understand what we are facing, outsiders do not. Thanks for the support.:smile:
 
SPRTZM,
"but it is their journey, not ours."
Well said...timely reminder, thank you!
 
While it may be valuable to revisit the whole issue again with a whole new group of folks.........I urge you to skip to the parent forum and search the topic. Much discussion last year, through the spring and summer if I remember correctly. You can read and then some were kind enough to post how the whole situation (taking gf along, not taking gf along, etc) turned out.
 
Wow this is always a big topic. We didn't let our sons gf come with us because we didn't have the room for her. He really wanted to be with her but with 3 other kids it wasn't going to happen. I will never forget how much in love and how inseparable they were and they were determined to make it, and the first phone call me got to make on I-day she didn't answer the phone he was devastated apparently she just started a new job and couldn't answer. Needless to say they survived until a few months after plebe summer as she had met someone else. I had prepared him mentally that this was a huge possibility and I think that it helped him. Now he is happily dating his sponsors daughters best friend and they have been going strong for 8 months. They say about only 2% make it though the academy years. He told me it would have been easier to break up before he left.

I would support him and bring her if you can it would be good for her to see what he is going to go through. We always stay at the Embassy Suites near the airport (not a bad drive) so that we can have separate rooms also you get such a great breakfast in the morning.

Good luck and if you need more info please let me know!!

Go Navy!
 
Our Plebe (class of 2012)really, really, really wanted to see his GF at PPW so we developed a plan that worked out for all of us (especially Plebe Mom)....we flew into BWI on a Thursday, had the GF fly in on Saturday early afternoon.... the Plebe ( and I) met her at airport.....Plebe's Mom got some quality together time before GF arrived and everything went very well the whole PPW......GF stayed in adjoining hotel room w/ Plebe's little sister...we stayed at Annapolis Sheraton right next to the Annapolis Mall(walking distance) which was a major destination of all the Plebes on town liberty....one lesson we learned with almost serious consequences for our Plebe....always, always, always get him back to the yard early....Sunday (after 2 previous nights with zero traffic difficulties that we were feeling so "over-confident" in our commuting skills back to the yard) we were hit with HUGE traffic jam on Rt 50 and all the exits due to a major accident on the Bay Bridge that morning......after 50 min in completely stalled traffic and the 1800hrs deadline minutes away the Plebe, GF, Plebe's Mom and Plebe's younger Sis abandoned me in the rental car and started a fast jog towards Gate 8,about 1/2 mile away !!!! Plebe made it to formation w/ 5 min to spare thanks to some great parents already inside the gate that made a U-turn and loaded up a carfuls of jogging/panicked Plebes and got them back intime.
 
The 2% that do remain with their significant other through all four years of Camp Tecumseh and beyond. I personally know exactly one member of that club.
 
Oh ya we are class of 2012 and what a nightmare getting them back there were plebes getting out of the cars and running to the yard. We left 2 hours early and got a little stuck because of the wreck I think he made it with 30 min to spare...
 
SAMom said:
Oh ya we are class of 2012 and what a nightmare getting them back there were plebes getting out of the cars and running to the yard....
Click to expand...

Don't forget how the sky opened up close to reporting time. What a mess.

We too had GF fly in after us. We had plebe to ourselves on Friday and GF flew in late Friday night. We surprised plebe after Saturday morning parade. It was important for them to see each other. We felt if they really wanted things to work out, GF needed to see plebe's world. We had together time and they had alone time. Everyone was happy, until it was time to say goodbye. There were some sniffles as we slowly returned to the yard.
GF was able to visit again this past fall for a football game and a concert. When son is home, he attends events with her at her school. We remind him that her college experience is just as important to her as USNA is to him.
Long distance relationships are tough, but if you're in the Navy, get used to it. He figures this is training for whats to come.
 
Ya I forgot about the rain lol!!! Poor kids!! My son has watched me deal with deployments with their Step Dad so he has a good idea what it means but to find a girl who will deal with it it's going to be hard especially when they are young!!!!

Go Navy!!
 
We arrived at PPW on Thursday evening (husband and myself). We had Friday with son....he ate and slept. Saturday GF arrived with sister before parade. They spent lots of time together - lunch, swimming, dinner, movie at Annapolis mall. GF & sister went home after dropping Plebe off at USNA. (only 1 1/2 hour away). Son went to church with us in the morning (slept through entire church service). Went to movies again (son slept through entire movie). Took son back to USNA to snap pictures and watch dinner formation. Worked out well for us. Son had time with us and time with GF and sister as well as time to sleep!
 
Jpjades, sounds like a Navy wife in the making! If the relationship can survive the academy life, it can likely survive ANYTHING!
 
That accident on RT 50 was a mess

Tragic Death as well/

and anyone late was "somewhat" forgiven. No serious Fries for that.
 
usna1985 said:
As an aside, I think it's much harder for a female mid to retain her relationship with a non-military guy during USNA. I can't think of a single example from my class . . .
Click to expand...

100% right. The only girl I know here or have heard of here who is still dating someone from home's boyfriend is also a mid. This situation does not exist. Sorry.
 
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