Venting about parents on FB

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Ok I was doing my daily where's waldo search on Web Guy and they had the following posted on the site!

First, please, please, please remember that our photos and video are snapshots in time. I know I repeat that over and over, but the reason for this is that every summer the Academy gets calls from anxious parents who perceive something about their child from their analysis of WebGuy photos and want reassurance of their well-being. Regardless of how your Basic or Cadet may look or seem in a photo, if something were truly wrong, the Academy would let you know. Remember that this is military basic training. It’s not meant to be fun. Basics do not smile while in formation. They are not happy all the time. Every non-emergency call you make to the Academy staff requires someone to stop their primary job, which is training your Basics, in order to research and respond to a non-emergency question. Multiply that by several hundred and that adds up to a lot of time away from the primary duty which is helping basic cadets successfully complete BCT. Keep in mind that out of the 61 classes to go through BCT at USAFA (including 2019), only 12 have been fortunate to have had WebGuy coverage. We want that coverage to continue at its current high level, but it is a delicate balance we have successfully maintained for those 12 years. If we are suddenly seen as a cause for increased workload to the Academy staff, it could have a detrimental effect on the number of events we are allowed to cover. So, I ask you all to continue to enjoy the coverage we provide and trust that everyone has your Basic’s best interest at heart.

I guess they have to deal with the outcome of helo parents too!

I was horrified when I read this. I found the entire thing mind boggling. Parents phoning the academy based upon a single snap shot in time. It's one thing to vent and share worry in social media, and it is another to call the SA. I thought 2018 parents were bad. Apparently not as bad as I thought, as we didn't get a web guy smack down regarding calls to the USAFA.
 
But where I differ with everyone here is that I would say that USNA (and every other SA) has the majority of the blame for creating that situation and the very thing you all complain about. They know its going to happen, they allow it to happen... heck they encourage it to happen by posting pictures of that very thing. Its just summer scaminar continued...

:benny monkeysmilies:


Speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil.
 
What a bunch of hypocrites. Old grumpy hypocrites that should spend some time looking in a mirror and working on their own glass house.

I half joked about creating an idiot senior officer thread to match the FB parents one here. Thing is there are not enough pages to include them all.

I just have to ask, what has been said on this thread that would be seen as hypocritical, seems that you agree with whats been posted in regard to the USNA. Just trying to figure out what everyone has said that's so wrong.
 
Jcleppe, I know you are posting your question to MDDADD but I have been meaning to comment also. I would like to suggest that perhaps it’s time to stop the “venting” (ridiculing, criticizing, gossiping, ranting, etc). Some of these posts are reminiscent of a bunch of know-it-alls scoffing at the uninformed and inexperienced. There is a lot of value in many of these same posts – great personal experiences, lessons learned, perspective, and advice but unfortunately, some of it has been put forth with a great deal of “holier than thou” attitude. For me, the tone of this thread has been what's wrong at times.

If venting was the OP’s purpose then this thread has run its course. The first page of posts held some great commentary but we are up to 7 pages at this point. Perhaps future posters take the high course and offer advice to those on this forum and the other media outlets mentioned from a positive viewpoint? Seek to inform rather than insult. Provide perspective rather than attitude. And if all else fails, why not avoid the drama on those other sites altogether?
 
I keep trying to walk away from this place and this thread specifically but it draws me back like looking at a car wreck. My wife and I have the exact opposite reaction to it... more like who are these people posting here and I pray they are not active duty military. I don't think I have seen so many stupid statement in one place as this thread in a long time.

What a bunch of hypocrites. Old grumpy hypocrites that should spend some time looking in a mirror and working on their own glass house.

I half joked about creating an idiot senior officer thread to match the FB parents one here. Thing is there are not enough pages to include them all.

Geeze, I gotta walk away...

What in the world are you trying to say?
 
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I have really been enjoying this thread! It's been a welcome relief to hear a little more "reality" out there. Quite frankly, I worry about some of these parents. What are they thinking?

Little did I know that when my daughter and I took a walk to find the C-Store, that I would find paparazzi lining the sidewalks! They were camped out with cameras, watching for their CC (cadet candidate) and in some cases, calling out their name when they spotted him/her. That was quite the surprise for me. Do these kids need the added pressure of this while dealing with all that they already have to deal with that day? How do these parents think that this is helpful in any way, other than only to satisfy their own selfish need to see their kid "one more time."

Yeah, this happened with 2018 also. We didn't know about it until we got home and saw some of the heated discussion about it on FB. I was shocked that parents 1) wanted to get that close and 2) could get that close. I don't get it.

Totally West Point's fault. They could easily prevent this kind of activity I don't know why they don't. It's a complete farce.
 
I don't see an issue with parents trying to get a last glimpse and picture of their kid as they are whisked away. Nor do I have an issue with them sharing their disappointment in not being there, or seeing them as they walk down the stairs or getting that last photo etc. etc. etc.. Being a "paparazzi" may be expected and accepted in one family, but not in another.

I think some people share so much in social media because they don't have anyone to share it with at home (friends, neighbors, family). My closest friends at home don't understand. I can't talk with them about it unless I am prepared to become aggravated. So who can I share with, vent with, share disappointment with, ask questions of and build some sort of parent support network with? Other academy parents on social media. We all have probably rolled our eyes at each other at some point and/or done something/said something out of line from another parent's point of view. The few times I took real exception (the letter to the Superintendent regarding boxing), I have spoken out quite strongly and clearly (a shocker, I know ;)).

Personally, one of the things I find most aggravating on social media are those with military or academy experience who take a holier than thou approach telling other parents to "let it go" and "they are adults now" when the parents are asking questions/venting/etc.. These experienced parents have a wealth of knowledge and background that they take for granted. These experienced parents already have their "support network/friend" etc. in place, and they aren't floundering around looking to see if there is anyone out there who is willing to listen, understand and show support.

My son has completed one year at the academy, and it has been a very rough ride. I had no clue how it all worked, what to expect nor who to turn to when it all started. I was anxious because I did NOT know and had NO personal basis for comparison. Thank God for facebook parent groups where I met some other parents like me and others who had experience and knowledge they were willing to share. And yes, thank God even for those who may drive me nutty with some of their observations and posts. Because even if I think it may be too much, it reassures me that there are others out there who are probably experiencing the same emotions I am, but are handling/expressing them in a different way.
 
I don't see an issue with parents trying to get a last glimpse and picture of their kid as they are whisked away. Nor do I have an issue with them sharing their disappointment in not being there, or seeing them as they walk down the stairs or getting that last photo etc. etc. etc.. Being a "paparazzi" may be expected and accepted in one family, but not in another.

I think some people share so much in social media because they don't have anyone to share it with at home (friends, neighbors, family). My closest friends at home don't understand. I can't talk with them about it unless I am prepared to become aggravated. So who can I share with, vent with, share disappointment with, ask questions of and build some sort of parent support network with? Other academy parents on social media. We all have probably rolled our eyes at each other at some point and/or done something/said something out of line from another parent's point of view. The few times I took real exception (the letter to the Superintendent regarding boxing), I have spoken out quite strongly and clearly (a shocker, I know ;)).

Personally, one of the things I find most aggravating on social media are those with military or academy experience who take a holier than thou approach telling other parents to "let it go" and "they are adults now" when the parents are asking questions/venting/etc.. These experienced parents have a wealth of knowledge and background that they take for granted. These experienced parents already have their "support network/friend" etc. in place, and they aren't floundering around looking to see if there is anyone out there who is willing to listen, understand and show support.

My son has completed one year at the academy, and it has been a very rough ride. I had no clue how it all worked, what to expect nor who to turn to when it all started. I was anxious because I did NOT know and had NO personal basis for comparison. Thank God for facebook parent groups where I met some other parents like me and others who had experience and knowledge they were willing to share. And yes, thank God even for those who may drive me nutty with some of their observations and posts. Because even if I think it may be too much, it reassures me that there are others out there who are probably experiencing the same emotions I am, but are handling/expressing them in a different way.
MommaBomba - you can vent to me anytime! ;) Also, I find your candor refreshing.
 
At a certain point, practice is over and it's game time. There's a lot of trepidation and hand ringing over things that are not remotely the most challenging obstacles the cadets will face.

Therein lies the frustration from this parent. At a certain point, ya gotta reconcile with the fact that they are embarking on a journey THEY chose to take. 17- 18 years of prep time should be enough, no?
 
I enjoy the parents FB page. Have learned a great deal from the page. Have made some of the most amazing friends from that group. Some of us are new to the entire military thing. It's nice to know there are folks to guide us. Some of you on here--just like the FB page--are a tad snippy and harsh. Relax. Be supportive and positive. True there are over the top folks everywhere. But hey let it go and try to be just a little nicer.
 
At a certain point, practice is over and it's game time. There's a lot of trepidation and hand ringing over things that are not remotely the most challenging obstacles the cadets will face.

Therein lies the frustration from this parent. At a certain point, ya gotta reconcile with the fact that they are embarking on a journey THEY chose to take. 17- 18 years of prep time should be enough, no?

I hear you. Some things I think are a bit over the top (worry about clean laundry) and others are right on the mark (who is looking after my cadet and how often after that same day surgery?)

Some parents are more vocal or open about their feelings and concerns, and some are more private. We can each have different emotions/feelings and levels of intensity to the exact same experience. Some people take longer to reconcile than others for various reasons.

Concern and worry about my children didn't cease to exist when my kids turned 18. That will always remain, even when they are 50 and I am 80. What changes is I am no longer a main character in his life's play. I am relegated to a background bit player/supporting character. I make a rare appearance now and again, but I am mostly watching from the wings.
 
What changes is I am no longer a main character in his life's play. I am relegated to a background bit player/supporting character. I make a rare appearance now and again, but I am mostly watching from the wings.

Years ago I had a signature line that said they are the picture, we are the frame.

Nobody looks at the frame of the Mona Lisa, however, the frame holds the picture. That is our job now impo as a parent... background that only the Mona Lisa and curators know their importance. The frame will always be needed, but it is up to the curators and the Mona Lisa to decide how to keep her being kept in best standing, not the frame.

The only time the frame becomes an issue is when it starts to move and twist the Mona Lisa.
 
Have to comment about Sledge's great cartoon on page 6. It would be even more realistic if the grade in the second frame were a "B."
 
Also, I couldn't agree more that the academies are at fault for some of this helo behavior. It might be best for everyone, but especially the cadets/mids, if parents were only allowed to drop kiddos off at the gates and turn around home. Not sure why civilians are allowed on the grounds at all except that they've been turned into museums and gift shops. Wandering around sight-seeing at the military academy seems (to me) so at odds with the purpose of the place. I sure don't belong there, so no need to make me feel welcome.
 
Funny some of the post mentioning the zoo. My Ds wrote in a letter on day 3 of BCT saying "I feel like a zoo animal because there is always people at he chapel watching us on the T-Zo."
 
Also, I couldn't agree more that the academies are at fault for some of this helo behavior. It might be best for everyone, but especially the cadets/mids, if parents were only allowed to drop kiddos off at the gates and turn around home. Not sure why civilians are allowed on the grounds at all except that they've been turned into museums and gift shops. Wandering around sight-seeing at the military academy seems (to me) so at odds with the purpose of the place. I sure don't belong there, so no need to make me feel welcome.
Did/do you have any children that go to a civilian school. Did you drop them off at the gate? Not go to their dorm room? Not tour the campus before or while attending? Go to the bookstore to buy a souvenir supporting your child's school choice? I am not sure what is wrong with that. I spent 18 years living with my child. Seems reasonable that I can get acquainted with where they are moving to. Why would it be best for everyone if I am not allowed to do that?

I have to agree with others. The tone of this thread wanders in a strange way at times - feels like a whole lotta condescension. The whole idea that there is this massive group of helo parents running around WP and on social media..... I am sure there are some but they are a distinct minority.
 
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