A Ripple Effect

Discussion in 'Service Academy Parents' started by tug_boat, Mar 26, 2013.

  1. tug_boat

    tug_boat Member

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    I have to share an observation that many of you have probably already witnessed. Me, being a dim light bulb it just hit me! If some of you parents have not noticed, watch for it.

    My son two nights ago was cooking dinner for the family. (He has always liked doing this; I think it came from his grandma putting such an emphasis on breaking bread with friends and family.) He had his childhood friend at our home helping him out. I’ll call this friend “Tim” to make it more real rather than using an acronym. Tim and my DS have known each other since kindergartner days, which seem like last week. Tim has always hung around the house and follows my DS like a little puppy dog. Always wanting my DS attention. A little about Tim, when he was 12 he suffered a surfing accident, his surf board rail hit him in the back of his neck which caused him to go unconscious. As a result he suffered for just a brief moment oxygen depravation that injured his brain. (My son was not there with him, but carries guilt for not being there and watching over him.)

    As my son was stirring on the stove, Tim asked (If you go to West Point School, will you think of me?) I was doing something and what I heard stopped me in my tracks. I really didn’t know how much Tim needed my DS in his life. I began to think about my DS other friends who he has known for just as long. They also follow him around. You know how boys go around in packs, at the mall or riding bikes, they travel in packs. I never really noticed but they all followed my DS during their adventures. Even his younger brother, just a year younger, stands to right and behind him. Many a times I would come home and there is some girl there on the sofa, with her eyes locked on him watching, and dreaming. I would ask my wife, what’s with this and she would say they’re just “friends.” How come I have never noticed this before!

    Is this “something” that people notice, is it born naturally? Can it be taught? Or is it a seed planted in soil that needs constant nurturing, cultivating it? Making sure it has water, sunshine, turn the soil to encourage its growth.
    The kids who want to attend a SA all have this gift, to some degree, for others to follow them. Maybe this is why they have gravitated to this calling of service to others. I wouldn’t call it being “popular” but it’s the way they carry themselves with confidence and a solid self-esteem. With so much “noise” hitting today’s’ society, it confuses us to what is right and wrong. People, I believe, look for those with this “gift” to follow, they find comfort and safety.

    Look for it. Do you also notice it in your child?

    A rippling effect.

    Push Hard, Press Forward
     
  2. jrpa

    jrpa jcrpa

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    yes! we call it the IT factor! they have IT!
     
  3. QA1517

    QA1517 Member

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    IT

    My DS plays (played now that he will be graduating) basketball all thru school. Even in Jr. High his team played better when he was on the floor. Even in HS at the varsity level, you could tell a distinct difference when he was playing.

    My DS is very intense when it comes to athletics and is by far not the best player, but when in the game the other players seem calmer and more level headed.

    Other parents have noticed and even commented on it.

    When put into group activities, he is usually the one others turn to and say, "what do we need to do now".

    He works with and has trained his own roping horse, maybe he's a people whisperer also.:redface:
     
  4. rkrosnar

    rkrosnar Member

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    tug_boat,

    First it seems your DS is a very caring person, who truly cares for others. Especially, Tim. I have cerebral palsy and know what it's like to look up to someone. My late brother is a Marine. I remember, the day he left for Paris Island. I was ten years old, our grandmother just died, two months earlier. I cried, like no could believe. The proudest moment for me came, when I attended his graduation. I will never forget my brother, nor his service to his country. Let your DS friend Tim continue to be apart of your sons journey, at the academy. Believe me, it is something Tim will never ever forget. Thanks for sharing your wonderful story. And tell your DS from me, thanks for serving the greatest country in the world the United States of America and defending its freedom.


    God Bless and God Speed and Happy Easter to your entire family,

    RGK
     
  5. Pkirk618

    Pkirk618 Retired Army

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    I think what your ds possesses is leadership. Some of us are natural leaders, some of us are not but we all stand to learn to be better leaders in the military or other alternative means. People look up to him because hes fair and compassionate-- two qualities that make leaders nore receptive to non-linear problems that force them to think outside the box. Problem solvers.

    We sometimes call "it" command presence. This is essential for leaders to earn the ear of their subordinates at all times. With a little geooming, your ds sounds like someone who will do great things. He just needs to stay on course.

    ...and we don't just lead in the military either so again think big.
     
  6. fencersmother

    fencersmother Founding Member

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    Such a big part of leadership is not just giving orders, but enabling and encouraging others to be their best.

    If your son does indeed go to USMA, do you live close enough, and would you consider, taking Tim with you for Parents Weekend or some other day when he could see his good friend, your son? Encourage Tim to stay in contact as he is able with your son. If Tim can write, have him send your DS postcards, and maybe newspaper clippings from your hometown. Good for both your DS and for Tim. For Tim, it might be the binding tie to a time when life was easier for him. For your son, it might be the reminder of why he is serving his country with such honor.
     
  7. FlyBoy1993

    FlyBoy1993 Member

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    These young men and women are not GOING TO BE leaders. They already are.

    Of course they will be missed by those whose lives they touched.

    I just pray that they remain aware of the responsibility that goes with that influence, and that they wield those skills with care. Other people look to them, the challenge is to keep it for the right reasons.
     
  8. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator

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    Tug, you're right... some people just have it and you can see it by noticing that they seem to be at the center of things. But buddy, you left me hangin'. What in the world did he say to Tim?
     
  9. tug_boat

    tug_boat Member

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    "Tim"

    Tim will always be kept in the "Circle of Trust". He recently told my DS he was going to stay in his room while he was away. My heart was weeping. Of all the freak accidents. I surf all the time still and never come close to being skagged or railed.

    Its just his test.

    Ours too.

    Push Hard, Press Forward
     
  10. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator

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    Thanks tug. And may God bless Tim.
     
  11. tug_boat

    tug_boat Member

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    Oh....

    Oh believe me, we are the blessed ones having such a kindred spirit amongst us. He has taught me more than I can tell you.

    Push Hard, Press Forward
     

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