Advice for a Frustated Dad Please.

He has earned the right to choose, but choose he must.
Being able to provide for your family is nothing to be ashamed of.
Having a family that can provide for him does not make him less of a man..

What in the world does this have anything to do with what I said?

Undeniable Rule of Life #1 - One 'grows-up' quickly when one realizes one must pay their own way in this World.

Undeniable Rule of Life #2 - When one has 'skin in the game' (see Rule #1) character development and maturity growth quickly accelerates within that individual.

Undeniable Rule of Life #3 - Everyone faces Rule #1 & #2; some sooner than others.

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I have a friend who is worth north of $40 million. (He is started out life as a laborer)

He and his wife have (3) kids, Two Girls and one Boy. When each kid turned 12, that summer, my friend and his kid would charter a 'copter that dropped them both into the Alaskan back-country (i.e. Bear Country) along a river. He took 2 rifles and a .45 pistol , 3 days of food, 2 gallons of water, fire-kit, no tent, 2 sleeping bags, 2 pairs of jeans each and two shirts + each had a good coat + an inflatable raft. No bug repellent. No TP! (savage!)

They stay out for 2 weeks and paddled down a river to a pre-determined landmark for pick-up.

He called the adventures the 'I am Sparta' vacation. He said each kid hated it leading up to the day. and said each kid loved it afterward. He said it changed each of them as they grew up. They grew up very confident and sure of themselves. He says it is because during those two weeks they had to forge and hunt to eat after the 3-days of food they had was gone. He says all he did was just help his kids into learning Rules #1 & #2 ahead of schedule.
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^^^Obviously, that's not for everyone, but sooner or later, you 'own' what path you take in life. I stand by every word I said in the other post. If some of you want to parse down the words, build in some analysis to old-fashion thinking, go right ahead.

I'm not ripping on Doc! Everyone does the best they can raising kids.

It doesn't change or avoid our kids from meeting up with the Undeniables.
 
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If DS doesn't like the academy and goes, no harm no foul. He wouldn't be the first to leave for the same reasons after a year. He has back up plans for a reason.
 
Actually I said the opposite
Rule # 4
No need for a man to man up.
 
He has earned the right to choose, but choose he must.
Being able to provide for your family is nothing to be ashamed of.
Having a family that can provide for him does not make him less of a man.

Thanks for that AJC, I would agree. My son has had a total different childhood than I had.
My family was poor, and I don't mean "can't afford the bigger data plan" poor, I mean electricity gets turned off poor... no food for dinner poor.
I told myself, not me... not my family.... NEVER.
I made sure that my family would never be in that same position. I was too proud for that. In my day the free lunch cards were a different color, so guess who didn't eat lunch... I was prouder than I was smart...
Because of those roots, I never spoiled my son, he just got his first smart phone, literally a month ago.
Dad has not babied or pampered him, he drives a 20 year old left over family car to school.
He knows the value of a dollar and he is frugal and well grounded.
I can afford his college, but that doesn't mean he is a silver spooner, he is not.
And just because he is hesitating on this big decision does not mean he doesn't want it or deserve it....
The only reason I posted this topic is to see if I am missing something here, because I would have jumped at the chance as a kid, but my son is in a better position than I was, he has choices that I never had, and there is nothing wrong with considering your options.
All of your help has been great!!
 
F15DOC, same situation here.
joined the Navy when college was not an option.
Paying for my children's' colleges gives me a tremendous sense of accomplishment.
 
Thanks to F15DOC for posting. Our son is also in the process of deciding between 2 SA and civilian colleges. It has been helpful to read the responses and to know that the decision is not an easy one for every appointee.
 
Thanks to F15DOC for posting. Our son is also in the process of deciding between 2 SA and civilian colleges. It has been helpful to read the responses and to know that the decision is not an easy one for every appointee.
Is he having the same questions and concerns?
 
Well, it is done, he decided today....
He accepted his appointment and signed the acceptance form.
We dropped it off at the post office today, what a proud dad.
He signed it with a big smile on his face!
Afterwards when we were walking outside, I stopped and "eye to eye" asked him, are you sure?
Again with a big smile, he said signing the acceptance felt "right".
So there ya go, you all got to go through the ups and downs with my family and my DS.
Hope it helped you, I know it helped me to air it all out on here.
For the first time I can say "GO BEARS!!"
 
That is great news! I wish him much success. By the way did he attend AIM?
 
Nope he didn't go to AIM, we visited the USCGA last Fall and he met a few students and the EE professors, he absolutely loved it!
 
I knew he would! Every kid has to make the decision on their own and in their own way. Remember this is a learning moment on how they weigh and balance major life adult decisions. For them it seems like this decision will impact them and obligate them until they are 100. Yes it will impact them for their rest of their life, but 9 years isn't the longest commitment out there. It sounds like he is at peace with his decision and is ready to tackle it. From one SA grad to a future one tell him... Good luck! Remember the good times will far out weigh the bad and he will make it through!
 
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Well, it is done, he decided today....
He accepted his appointment and signed the acceptance form.
We dropped it off at the post office today, what a proud dad.
He signed it with a big smile on his face!
Afterwards when we were walking outside, I stopped and "eye to eye" asked him, are you sure?
Again with a big smile, he said signing the acceptance felt "right".
So there ya go, you all got to go through the ups and downs with my family and my DS.
Hope it helped you, I know it helped me to air it all out on here.
For the first time I can say "GO BEARS!!"
Hey DOC...PM me would love to meet you guys R weekend...Happy to hear about his choice....
 
The parents here went to regular university and feel as though their son should jump at the opportunity to attend the academy because he was appointed. People who haven't experienced this IMO have no right to talk like that. You're treated like dirt as a 4/c for so long. Endless criticism, limited sleep, comparative isolation, etc. You really have to want it, and if he doesn't then tell him not to take it. I remember when I accepted my appointment I met with some folks from the parents association and they told me to not go if I was really hesitant or didn't want to do it.
 
The parents here went to regular university and feel as though their son should jump at the opportunity to attend the academy because he was appointed. People who haven't experienced this IMO have no right to talk like that. You're treated like dirt as a 4/c for so long. Endless criticism, limited sleep, comparative isolation, etc. You really have to want it, and if he doesn't then tell him not to take it. I remember when I accepted my appointment I met with some folks from the parents association and they told me to not go if I was really hesitant or didn't want to do it.
Wow, that was aggressive....
 
The parents here went to regular university and feel as though their son should jump at the opportunity to attend the academy because he was appointed. People who haven't experienced this IMO have no right to talk like that. You're treated like dirt as a 4/c for so long. Endless criticism, limited sleep, comparative isolation, etc. You really have to want it, and if he doesn't then tell him not to take it. I remember when I accepted my appointment I met with some folks from the parents association and they told me to not go if I was really hesitant or didn't want to do it.


But you went to KP, right? Isn't that like, what, two weeks of a plebe summer and a shortened "4/c year?"

I'm not sure anyone should encourage anyone who has been accepted anywhere to not attend.
 
I think LineInTheSand just performed a perfect scissor maneuver, switched to guns and walked his pipper right across the canopy on MMA... "guns - guns - guns"!!
Thats what happens to the young guy when he gets to aggressive :)
 
But you went to KP, right? Isn't that like, what, two weeks of a plebe summer and a shortened "4/c year?"

I'm not sure anyone should encourage anyone who has been accepted anywhere to not attend.

3 Weeks, and 4/C year is a whole year. It's all relative though. The training staff for my group was pretty harsh for the first 4 months, messed with us really hard a lot, even late on school nights. I can't imagine USCGA could be worse during the academic year.
 
Congratulations F15DOC. I am happy to hear that news. Your son sounds like a gem of a young man. I have no doubt he will do well. I know you are a proud papa, as you should be.
 
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