Advice for New Plebe Sponsor

In the latter posts, it's clear that there are two positions regarding sponsors, and breaking it down.., one is for it, and one is against it. Fact is there is a third position....try it. What I mean is, most Plebes will not really be able to form an opinion until they try it first hand. And face it, as an example, there are many Plebes that if not for sponsors, will spend PPW alone because for one reason or another their parents may not be able to attend. Being alone is simply....alone. And I fail to see any true character building qualities about that position.

Though new to the sponsor program, I also feel I have something to contribute, if needed. Besides being a veteran myself, I've been around midshipman and Naval officers for over 30 years through various encounters with sponsors, and through sailing and other programs around Annapolis. My best friend was a Navy Mustang, who ran Mike boats on the Delta in Nam, and retired as an XO on a fast attach. He also spent over 10 years sponsoring midshipman and coached on the class A's at NAS. His house was always filled with Mids on almost any weekend. They were not there because they needed a hug, but to enjoy some down time, while learning what military life was really like from a man that truely experienced it. And as a vet myself, I'd like to think I could also help a little if the situation surfaced.

I've also raised three wonderful children, my daughter spent 12 years in the Navy before moving on to working with the Dept of the Navy as a civilian and in the process married a Coast Guard Ltcmdr, and a graduate of the USCGA.
I'm pointing this out, because based on my observations over the years, there is no "one" way to deal with Plebe year individually, or for that matter dealing with the transition to military life in any form. Some Plebes for one reason or another, never participate in the sponsor program, others do but don't click with the sponsors and leave it, and then there are others who enjoy the company of the sponsors family, many maintaining that friendship way beyond their Plebe year, and into their Naval / Marine Corp career.

There is another point.., this program is highly supported by the Academy for a good reason. It helps a lot of these young men and women adjust with their transition to military life at the Yard. Granted some don't need it..., and that's fine, but many benefit form this program, and in so many cases, many graduates admit that they may not have succeeded at the Academy without the support of their sponsors.

As most can see.., I have a tendency to "run on" at times, but I guess it's because I've seen the results of this program when it works, and just want my family to be there for those we can provide a little help "getting over the wall."
 
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. Being alone is simply....alone. And I fail to see any true character building qualities about that position.
Those who have never experienced the Academy do not understand. They are not alone but in the company of their fellow classmates. Someone who is having problems becomes their classmates problem. I will guarantee you that the five lost Plebes at the Branch Avenue Metro station attempting to find their way to the Saturday afternoon Nationals game will have a lot more positive memories than someone who spent Saturday afternoon making tacos and vegging out. The sponsorer program allows midshipmen classmates, especially plebes, to no longer be totally responsible for each other. a valuable part of molding a leader and officer.
 
My 2cents as a current mid

This is based solely on my experiences as a mid, a rising firstie, having three years with my sponsors. My sponsors were new to the program, and I was the first, and so far only, mid they sponsored.

I have had an AMAZING relationship with my sponsors. Whoever matched us together deserves a raise or something because we click very very well. It has definitly taken us some time to get to this though, I didn't bring my laundry to my sponsors until the end of my plebe year. I was also much more formal with them at the begining, afraid that we wouldn't click, or that I might over step my boundaries. I feel really comfortable now. I will shoot them emails, texts, and facebook posts (yes my sponsor mother got a facebook, it was pretty cool) constantly. My sponsors have also adopted the girls in my class in company. When I was abroad fall semester, my roommate would go and hang out with them a lot.

I really like being an "only child" by being their only official sponsor because it means that when I need a weekend, a day, a few hours, any period of time that I can just be by myself, I can have it. My sponsors are also great because they give me a room for myself to sleep with on weekends that I spend with them. They are there for conversation, and company but when I want to be on my own I get to be.

As for meals, my sponsor mother will cook on occasion, but we mostly go out and eat. I don't really miss home-cooked meals, instead I really like getting good steak, Chinese food, burgers, anything htat is not King Hall food. My sponsors are also great because they let me use their kitchen to bake, and they know how much I LOVE to bake. They generaly have baking ingredients around at home but if I know I will bake a lot, or need specialty items I will purchase them myself. As for the tab on meals, I tried to offer the first few times we went out for meals to pay for it but they wouldn't hear of it. Now I don't even think about it when they pay. They really have made me feel like their family member. When my parents are in town and we invite them out, my parent's pay. I have never really thought much of this, but I suppose if you want to split the tab mids would be all right with that. I tend to offer the first few times and if I get denied then just assume that my sponsors will pay.

I think the one thing thing that I had some trouble with was when I got adopted by other families in the community and wanted to spend some time with them it was hard to try and communicate to my sponsors that I loved them, but just wanted to spend time with other people as well. But it's actually all worked out and now I've got open invitations to numerous houses on the weekends.

My sponsors are humans, and as a result there are some weekends that they are busy, or have other things come up and I can't spend the time with them. I completely understand, and am able to make my own plans for those weekends or days. After all, my sponsors are doing me a service by offering me a place to stay, feeding me, and letting me use their kitchen/laundry room, it would be really silly of me to throw a temper tantrum and demand they clear their schedule for me. I love them, and really appreciate it when I am able to get some time to hang out with them, but if I can't, I can't. This goes for my schedule too. There have been months, this year especially with a family issue with my sponsor mother and my 2/C schedule going on, that I haven't been able to see them. I've still kept in contact via email, phone calls and facebook posts.

I was going to do a "Heres suggestions from my end" kind of list, but I'm hoping that my random ramblings about sponsors sort of accomplishes that too. I really love my sponsors, and am so thankful that they were willing to be sponsors when I was a plebe and are still willing to put up with me, haha. I think most mids really appreciate it that members of the Annapolis community are willing to open up their homes, and their lives to us. Thank you for volunteering to be a sponsor. With the set-up you described in your house, I have no doubt you're gonna be a sponsor who gets adopted by mids very very quickly!! Let me know if you have any questions, I can try to answer questions from a mids-point-of-view as much as possible! :smile:
 
I will guarantee you that the five lost Plebes at the Branch Avenue Metro station attempting to find their way to the Saturday afternoon Nationals game will have a lot more positive memories than someone who spent Saturday afternoon making tacos and vegging out.

Since there is no bus service from Annapolis to DC on the weekends, unless it was an official trip, the lost Plebes likely got a ride to the Metro from a Sponsor. We've piled our plebe and friends in the back of the van and dropped them in DC for the day when we're going anyway.

Going back to my earlier post --a blanket was more for sitting on floor outside of the stadium seating. Logistically that was just a better location for us. There's plenty of seats available inside.
 
Since there is no bus service from Annapolis to DC on the weekends, unless it was an official trip, the lost Plebes likely got a ride to the Metro from a Sponsor.
All the groups I have noticed in DC got there by taxicab. Not too bad when five or so share one of the minivan types.
 
Not too bad when five or so share one of the minivan types.

True,and little traffic so half cost of a rush hour trip. Plus the Nats have those 4pm Sat games that you can actually make between formation and Cinderella time. :thumb:
 
Mongo.....

Thanks for your observations supporting Plebes being self-sufficient. I agree completely. I was in the military during a very trying time for this country, and I know first hand how important it is for your military brothers and sisters to look out for each other.
I also see this same commitment to each other when they decide to camp out for a day with their sponsors. It's called Town Liberty for a reason, within the parameters set by the academy, you may do what you wish with your time. The sponsor program simply provides one option. At a recent spring weekend, we had several upper class mid's at a multi boat raft-up for two days, and I can assure you, they had a blast sleeping on a 50' trawler, using the jet ski's, diving off the upper deck of the boat, etc. It's not always about sitting at a sponsor’s home doing laundry. Sponsorship gives the mids options they may not normally have access to otherwise.

2014sponsor

Thanks for the clarification on the blanket issue. It's really does make sense. And we'll be sure to bring some "white uniform" friendly snacks.:biggrin:

NYCUSNA2012

I'm so glad you have such a rewarding relationship with your sponsor family. You re-enforce the reason why the program is so popular and support by the Academy. Sponsors are there for their midshipman when needed but should always understand that there is no script to this, so being flexible and supportive appears to be the best plan.

I do have a question, on a subject that comes up from time to time. The autumn of your Plebe semester does not allow a lot of opportunities to get away on your own, with formations, watches, home football games, etc. Can you relate how much opportunity during that time that you truly had a full day for yourself, to hook up with your sponsor, for example?

Thanks aging for all the information.

Go Navy......Beat Army :thumb:
 
Mongo.....

Thanks for your observations supporting Plebes being self-sufficient. I agree completely. I was in the military during a very trying time for this country, and I know first hand how important it is for your military brothers and sisters to look out for each other.
That was just an example. There is a lot more.

For better or worse, the program exists. The problem is that it has gone from a “take it or leave it” situation to the present where parents and midshipmen somehow think they are lacking something and missing out if either they don’t wholeheartedly participate or don’t like it/want to participate. It is for this reason that, since the subject has been broached, that I feel compelled to comment.

Very few will deny that the Academy does not prepare new officers for the fleet better than the other procurement sources. What many do not continue to realize is that first impressions are lasting impressions and this slight initial edge might have lasting benefits. However, when one attempts to isolate a single item that makes a USNA grad stand out, they are often unable to justify this impression. Safe to say, it is a combination of everything. Funny you mention Town Liberty”. The Navy is different than the AF. Assigned to a base in NM, one could spend their entire tour and never leave the base. All their needs are met on base. The AF prides itself in this. Not true for a Navy ship pulling into Bumstump, Yugoslavia for the weekend. There will not be a line of sponsorer cars at the brow to take all the J O s to their home and cuddle them from the realities of an alien environment. They are on their own. They have to entertain themselves. I spent 12 years at sea. I loved every single liberty port that I visited. Could not wait to go ashore and see what was there. I will never forget my first one, Souda Bay, Crete, as a first class midshipmen. Seven mids on board, three from USNA and four ROTC. Guess which ones went ashore the first day? Not the ROTC ones. And guess which ones are more likely to make the Navy a career? I think it is the ones who are capable of making the most of everything the Navy has to offer. Just another small example. And I could go on forever.
 
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Funny you mention Town Liberty”. The Navy is different than the AF. Assigned to a base in NM, one could spend their entire tour and never leave the base. All their needs are met on base. The AF prides itself in this. Not true for a Navy ship pulling into Bumstump, Yugoslavia for the weekend. "

Mongo:
I don't know about you, but I was in the Air Force stationed at several facilities in South East Asia, and the states. You could get trampled to death standing at the gate when a squadron got liberty or a flight crew got off alert. The same holds true for the other branches of the service including the Navy. In March of 2011, the Navy listed a total active duty count of 328,227 of which only 95,336 were "afloat" while 232,891 were stationed ashore. I'm sure in any branch, an individual could remain on base permanently...,that's not specific to the Air Force. Point is... most take full advantage of getting off the base anytime the opportunity permits.

I started this thread if get advice..., and not to debate the pro's and con's of the sponsorship program. Looking at the many graduates that have had a great experience with sponsors, and went on to become excellent Navy and Marine officers supports the fact that as midshipman, they made the choice not out the "need for a hug", or any other character flaw, but simply made a personal decision based on what was best for them at the time. All midshipman spend over four years together in the brigade, so the small amount of liberty spend doing what they wish is their choice, and in no way diminished their capability as an officer. No Plebe or other midshipman remains in the program if they don't benefit from it. The academy does not in any way "force" sponsorship.

As I close out this discussion, please understand that while I may disagree on some points, I appreciate your perspective and thank you for the discussion. As one vet to another, you have my most sincere appreciation for your service and dedication to the Navy and our country. :thumb:
 
Good Luck and Thanks

Runningtide...best of luck to you as you begin to sponsor your mid...as I said in my original post, being a mom of a plebe, you are very much appreciated. Sorry this thread took such a negative turn...I felt bad everytime I read a post about how having a sponsor is somehow showing weakness. (But I did not respond because I figured you could "sift through" the negativity ok) All plebes will have different levels of "social needs"...some are more introverted or may not be used to a lot of family interaction. But for plebes like my son that is used to being part of a close knit family and enjoyed spending time at "home" with his brothers ,who miss him terribly...(and yes, I know he is making a new "family and home in Annapolis so you don't need to send a post to remind me:rolleyes:) I think you will be invaluable! Thank you and I hope our paths cross sometime in Annapolis!!:smile:
 
All plebes will have different levels of "social needs"...some are more introverted or may not be used to a lot of family interaction. But for plebes like my son that is used to being part of a close knit family and enjoyed spending time at "home" with his brothers ,who miss him terribly
bergmom, being a Naval Officer is a very challenging career. Your son will find that his professional growth is generally inversely proportional to the amount of time he spends in his comfort zone.
 
Mongo...I am sure you are correct about what it is going to take for him to be a successful Naval Officer...he has certainly been spending every waking moment since I-Day out of his comfort zone and I know he is better for it. What does this have to do with having a sponsor?
 
In March of 2011, the Navy listed a total active duty count of 328,227 of which only 95,336 were "afloat" while 232,891 were stationed ashore.
Totally irrelevant. Almost 100% of USNA graduates who have not become non physically qualified while at the Academy will either go directly to sea duty or will go shortly, immediately after initial training.

What does this have to do with having a sponsor?
Read my posts.
 
During the first semester as a plebe you are right, there is such a huge demand on time that it was hard to see my sponsors. That's generally how I feel every Fall semester, that there is just so much going on and not enough time to just relax, even as I get more and more liberty every year.
But my company also didn't have liberty our first two months due to silly reasons. But when I had time, I would attempt to find time to see my sponsors. Generally after football games my parents would come down and I would spend time with them. But on the rare weekends when there was no football game and I didn't have duty, I would spend that Saturday, plebes get liberty from noon to midnight on Saturday only, my sponsors would come and pick me up and I would spend the time with them.
I was lucky, my sponsors schedule was very free my first semester, and I cannot remember a time when I wanted to head to their house and they were unavailable. From what I remember theres a football game at least every two weeks or so, so those weekends I was with my parents. But I was able to see my sponsors at least once a month if not more.
 
Bergmon..

Thanks again for the support. I too hope our courses cross and if your mid finds their assigned sponsor is not a match, please B mail me and I'll try to help. As to the pro / con discussion, I'm no longer going to respond, and focus on the primary purpose of this thread. But if I ever doubted the value of a sponsor, it went out the window after listening to the USNA Commandant of Midshipman Capt Robert Clark II address last week during the Sponsor training when he outlined how he personnally benifited from his sponsor and how their relationship continued to this day. Prior to his assignment at the academy, Capt Clark commanded USS CONNECTICUT (SSN 22) for three years and went on as Commodore of Submarine Squadron FOUR, then on to various other major command roles, including Deputy Executive Assistant to the Vice Chief of Naval Operations. Not too bad for a Plebe that started out with a sponsor.:rolleyes:

NYCUSNA2012
Thanks so much for the update on the fall schedule. That's about what I understand, but it really helps to get an inside perspective. I do have a followup question, that will help me plan my time. How much notice does a Plebe get regarding liberty. Remembering my military time, it's probably not much...but I just want to make sure we are as available as possible if plans change at the last minute.
 
Runningtide
a few final thoughts. We saw our plebe probably once a month in the Fall as watch, football, and parents visits were also on the schedule. Most of these were things that the plebe knew in advance. Plans with other mids, figuring out how to take the bus other places, and academics were more last minute. I found it easier to tell our schedule than the other way around.

We'd sometimes see our plebe for a few hours after football... after walking to dinner and hanging out, when a quick nap and an easy walk to the Yard were are perfect match to end a long day. Those first few visits, you might just mention that it's ok to go in a room and shut the door. It's an odd thing to do in a stranger's house.

Plebes (and perhaps all Mids) frequently have activities on Saturday mornings. That can be a great discussion topic. I remember in particular the discussions after they visited Arlington and saw the recent stones for people only slightly older than themselves.

Mid-semester our plebe got a new phone and contract -- someone figured out that it was more discreet to send text messages than to be on a phone, even in your room. And a phone is always with them (after PS) unlike their computer and USNA email. Be prepared for text messages, and warn your plebe if you are like us and the phone normally resides in a pocket or briefcase and isn't checked if it's not ringing. Our plebe knew to call if there's no response to a text and she need an answer.

Our plebe also really appreciated being able to update Apple software over our internet since you can't connect a Mac to the USNA network. That was a much bigger deal than anything.

Good luck!
 
Every Mid has a different opinion, perspective and experience with the sponsor program. I was from California and was an athlete while at the Academy and had very little leave time if any during the holiday time period. My sponsors were a life saver for me! They came to my games, listened to me complain, shared in my ups and downs, always had a comfortable bed to sleep in, and if our season did not allow us to make it home for Thanksgiving or Christmas they always opened up their home to me and my team. They even clipped articles out of the local papers from my games and mailed them home to my parents (yes, this was before the Navy Sports website, Facebook, streaming of games, etc).

My sponsor parents also sponsored 2-3 mids from each class while I was there. So when you combine those they sponsored with boyfriends or girlfriends and other adopted mids there was always a full house there. My "sponsor brother and sisters" were all great. They provided a wealth of knowledge on how to navigate the academy and summer training. They kept an eye on us while in Mother B and if we got in a bind they were able to provide guidance. My sponsor family also had children of their own who were close in age to us and we even got to know them and still communicate today. To this day we are all very close and have attended each others weddings, baptisms and promotions. In fact most of our parents are even close to our sponsors and still keep in touch.

One of the things that my sponsors thankfully did for us was provide a set of rules up front. They were clear on what was expected of us. For instance my sponsors refused to be a taxi service. They did not shuttle us to the metro or airport. This sucked for us, but at least we knew it and did not have to figure out how to ask. They also emailed us on the weekends they would be home and told us when we needed to respond if we wanted to come over to the house. We also were always allowed to brings buddies too. This mostly helped them plan dinners and grocery shopping. When you start talking about 5-10 mids at one time, that can be a big grocery shopping. As an athlete, I sometimes had practice and these times did not work out. If I told them when practice was ending they usually came and got me after. We were allowed to do laundry at their house, we always brought our own detergent as we can wipe out a box quickly between a half dozen mids. They did not allow any mids to drink at the house regardless of age. This just made the rule black and white and easy to follow. They did let us keep civilian clothing at the house. Although, this was "against the rules" most sponsors allowed this when I was there. Just be up front with your mids if this or is not allowed. That goes for any of the rules.

For those who elect to be sponsors a thank you from a past Mid! I hope your develop a wonderful relationship with your mid. My room mates and I all had wonderful sponsors at the academy and still talk with all them to this day. Unfortunately not all my friends had great sponsors. Some of them just didn't use the program, others just didn't click with theirs, or a myriad of other reasons. Some mids end up being adopted by other sponsor families. In fact my room mate was able to sponsor my other room mates little brother the last few years!
 
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