Advice for Parents Booking for I-Day

Enlisted_Programmer said:
I have another opinion, although I agree 100% with allowing the parents to decide. When I left for MEPS before BMT, I had told my mom not to worry about taking off to be with me at the recruiter's office(she took off and came). I didn't mind either way, but I didn't want her thinking she should be there. I loved what I was headed into. I do not come from a military family, but I have been raised with discipline and expected hardship. It was much better than anything I had expected. I enjoyed being away permanently for the first time.

One of the ideas I agree with most from my recruiter is that it's less than 25% physical and more than 75% mental. I had no teary eyes and my mom held it together at least in front of me. The thought of how exciting military would be made me want to leave sooner. I also had a year and a half with my recruiter preparing me since junior year.
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As someone who was enlisted, went through MEPS and BMT, i have to say that going to Lackland and going to the academy are 2 TOTALLY DIFFERENT things. Not saying that your perspective is wrong, it isn't. I was the same as you. My mom and dad didn't see me off or anything. I got on a train that took me to MEPS; then MEPS put me on a plane and I went to lackland.

But the academy is different. I'd love to discuss it with you privately if you'd like.
 
Yes, enough of that:thumb:

My DD is on the forums and is a gracious and thoughtful young person. We discussed, as a family, what she wanted and, as a family, we all decided that we wanted to be with her on that day. Just as she considered our needs it was important for us to consider her needs as well.


Christcorp said:
Well Tigger; I'm sorry you took it personal. This is a forum. Hundreds of anonymous individuals posting opinions. You've got 4 different opinions going on at the same time. Just because your name is mentioned, doesn't mean it's personal. Anyway; enough of that.

And yes, if your adult daughter was to say: "I want to go by myself and don't want you to see me off", then yes, you should respect that. However; I would hope that your adult daughter wouldn't be so self centered, and would respect her parent's "POSSIBLE" needs. Or at least INQUIRE prior to making such a request. But then again; MOST appointees aren't on the forums; they aren't getting the perspective of past cadets, alumni, and families. And many have no other perspective to consider except for their own. So not considering their family's perspective or needs is very common. Especially with today's generation. "Generation is a multi-year comment". Not just this class.
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I am going to post an opinion different than Christcorp. I really do think it is up to the candidate whether they want family along or not. Our son asked to go alone. He said he did need time to set himself up mentally for I-day. We took him to the airport and said goodbye with pride, knowing that we had raised a son strong and self-confident enough to take the journey alone.

I never felt like a part of me died when he left. In fact, I became happier knowing that he was doing what he had dreamt of doing. Every step and accomplishment for the six years since then has just made me more proud and happy. There was never any sadness or negative feeling when he left.

I am not saying that Christcorps opinion is invalid. I just think that there are as many different dynamics to this process as there are parents. You know your child and family better than anyone on an internet forum. Make the decision for yourselves and go with it.

Stealth_81
 
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Bed & Breakfast program

For those who do report without their parents they can stay at a hotel and get picked up by a bus from the Academy (at certain hotels -- don't know which ones)

But there is the AOG Bed & Breakfast program also.

Local residents/AOG members sign up to be hosts of appointees. Some will pick them up at COS airport, others will pick them up at Doolittle Hall. But the hosts provide you a place to sleep and feed you, and then deliver you to Doolittle Hall for In-processing. I think you pay a minimal fee, but well worth it.


Like Stealth's son, our DS chose to go it alone and participated in the Bed & Breakfast program. He called before heading to Doolittle Hall to say he was ready and that he'd write. His host mom took pictures of him at Doolittle and emailed them to us. I listened to In-processing stuff on KAFA radio.
 
I agree with Stealth-- Every situation is different and everyone has to do what they think is right for their family. We chose to ask our son what he wanted us to do. We felt like he was going to have a very challenging 4 years ahead of him and we wanted to lighten his load if we could. Our son asked us to come out with him and we did. My son is now a C2C and I still remember that day as one of the saddest but proudest moments of my life.
 
I am not disagreeing. I've said numerous times that each family dynamic is different. But if I'm talking to the appointees; (Because it's not the parents who are actually going off to BCT and joining the military); I believe the appointee SHOULD consider their parents/family and THEIR NEEDS. It's not all about the appointee.

Simply saying: "You didn't get to where you are, and receive an appointment on your own. Receiving an appointment wasn't all about you. ....... Don't make the decision on whether your parents/family take you to I-day, be "All about you" either". Consider what they want; and possibly NEED.

Not all parents need the closure. Some do. Simply saying the appointee should take this into consideration.

And I knew when I said some parents will take their child leaving as a piece of them dying, that it would be taken out of context. The point is: The day you, the appointee leaves, your parents/family's life will pretty much continue on the exact way it has for many years. EXCEPT.... You won't be a direct part of it day to day any longer. "Something will be missing". Same happens with traditional college bound parents. The whole empty nest syndrome "FOR SOME". Point is; the appointee's life is BRAND NEW. Starting a whole new life. For the parent/family; it's the SAME LIFE they had. The only thing that changes for them, is that you're not directly involved with it day to day any longer.

Simply saying that the appointee really needs to take all this into consideration. Either way; it's going to affect your family more than it will affect you. But if an appointee is adamant about going to I-day on their own; then so be it. It's you'alls decision.
 
Christcorp said:
Simply saying that the appointee really needs to take all this into consideration. Either way; it's going to affect your family more than it will affect you. But if an appointee is adamant about going to I-day on their own; then so be it. It's you'alls decision.
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As I mentioned before, my DS was adamant about going at it alone. He later changed his mind after taking to another mom who had two West Point cadets (he leaned on their family for SA advice). It didn't matter much to me but it deeply mattered to my wife.

That said, his rational was that he wanted a clear head to focus. I think that "focus" was centered around the fear of getting emotional in front of upper classmen. I could picture female basic cadets having that same concern (not showing any "weakness" in front of their male counter parts).

If it was only about dropping them off, I say hug them at home and save the money. But we spent all day watching the events from a distance as well as the next mornings parade. It was priceless. It's not like you follow them around with your eyes peeled on them. You get an occasional glimps here and there. It's hard to miss something that you never experienced. So if we didn't attend, I'd have the same take as others (we looked at webguy photos and we respected his wishes).

I will say with confidence it was a better and more interesting day than his previous high school graduation, any sporting event, or any of his birthday parties. It was a proud experience that is hard to put in words. That's about all I can say.

To the mom's and dad's who are reading this. Free advice: borrow some great binoculars. We brought a few. One was a scope from a hunter friend. About 20 parents borrowed that scope to get an incredible view of their freshly shaven basic cadets head.:wink: They had SE (scope envy). :biggrin:
 
Would you mind elaborating more on the day's events and the parade the next morning?

And thanks for the tip re: binoculars! I definitely do NOT want SE:biggrin:

MN-Dad-2016 said:
As I mentioned before, my DS was adamant about going at it alone. He later changed his mind after taking to another mom who had two West Point cadets (he leaned on their family for SA advice). It didn't matter much to me but it deeply mattered to my wife.

That said, his rational was that he wanted a clear head to focus. I think that "focus" was centered around the fear of getting emotional in front of upper classmen. I could picture female basic cadets having that same concern (not showing any "weakness" in front of their male counter parts).

If it was only about dropping them off, I say hug them at home and save the money. But we spent all day watching the events from a distance as well as the next mornings parade. It was priceless. It's not like you follow them around with your eyes peeled on them. You get an occasional glimps here and there. It's hard to miss something that you never experienced. So if we didn't attend, I'd have the same take as others (we looked at webguy photos and we respected his wishes).

I will say with confidence it was a better and more interesting day than his previous high school graduation, any sporting event, or any of his birthday parties. It was a proud experience that is hard to put in words. That's about all I can say.

To the mom's and dad's who are reading this. Free advice: borrow some great binoculars. We brought a few. One was a scope from a hunter friend. About 20 parents borrowed that scope to get an incredible view of their freshly shaven basic cadets head.:wink: They had SE (scope envy). :biggrin:
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Just to prepare and to avoid SE... how far is the viewing stand/observation place to where the basics are going to be. If I were to bring a camera with a telephoto lens, would a 70-200mm be enough or would I need a 500mm (sorry this question if for the photo geeks out there). If I brought a scope, what would be an acceptable magnification power to at least make out their faces. I know I'm getting too technical but hey SE??? no way!
 
There's a wall beside the chapel that affords a great view of the terrazzo and the oath taking that takes place the morning after I-day is definitely a "Kodak moment" as you behold over a thousand basics in uniform and in formation for the first time.
We didn't have binoculars or zoom lenses but can't get any closer than webguy photographers. Last year may have been a little different because of the fires and smoke but it still is a very memorable moment that we are glad we were there to witness. It just didn't seem right for us to just drop our DS son off at the airport and "cut the ties". With tuition taken care of, how could we not take him as far as we could and see him off? If you can go-please do. Your cadet will remember and appreciate it as they embark on their military career.
 
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never ever alone said:
Just to prepare and to avoid SE... how far is the viewing stand/observation place to where the basics are going to be. If I were to bring a camera with a telephoto lens, would a 70-200mm be enough or would I need a 500mm (sorry this question if for the photo geeks out there). If I brought a scope, what would be an acceptable magnification power to at least make out their faces. I know I'm getting too technical but hey SE??? no way!
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I don't speak the "telephoto" lingo. :) Basically you need a fairly powerful scope and we stabilized it on the wall (chest height) by the chapel. The reason you need the power is when they enter and exits buildings (don't remember the hall names) you can spot your basic cadet. It's also interesting to watch the Cadre's "correct" the basics by the ramp going to the terrazzo. It must be a few hundred yards away.

The oath ceremony (no need for a powerful scope) is in the following morning. Fathers, don't forget to bring some tissues. It can be windy so your eyes water.:wink:

But there is a lot of action around in the terrazzo. Some groups march right in front of that area. The day is not action packed. That said, USAFA is the #1 Colorado tourist destination. I bet I-Day would be considered the most interesting day in the year.
 
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My two cents

Both my wife and I accompanied our son to I-Day (three years ago this June...seems like only 3 months ago!) We arrived the afternoon before, checked in to our hotel and then drove to the Broadmoor for a great dinner (pricey yes, but hey..."no tuition.") Let's just say we were all anxious about the next day.
On the morning of I-Day we had breakfast and left the hotel around 7:30am. Our plan was to be there somewhere in the first 1/3 of the pack..say around 8:30. (Now cadets get specific times to appear.) As we parked in the field near Arnold Hall and saw the hundreds of families and cadets, the whole event becomes pretty overwhelming for softies like me. After waiting in a few lines, listening to the AOG speech before entering the hall, and then hugging our son good-by at the bottom of the stairs and watching him disappear from view, I was pretty much of a basket case. His mom, on the other hand, was just fine. (As we were standing watching him climb the stairs, I suddenly found myself being introduced to General Gould and his wonderful wife Paula......wow, you can't imagine two nicer people and Paula reassured my wife that she could get "one more hug" when he comes down the "other stairs.")
A few minutes later, our son was part of a group being escorted on the grounds outside Arnold Hall. we watched him "cross the bridge" and get into the bus. Oh my, "that bus" which starts it all. You can only imagine what is going on in the bus as it so very slowly wheels out of the parking lot and begins a short trip to campus.
Once the bus left, we bought schwag from the store and then attended the picnic hosted by the Colorado Parents Club. That was another opportunity to meet parents from every corner of the country.)
By 1:00-ish, we drove to the visitor's center and walked over to the chapel wall. We then spent 2+ hours watching small clusters of newbie cadets..excuse me, I mean "basics" as they were being in-processed. You could hear older cadets yelling encouragment and other attitude boosting comments from within the hallways and courtyards of Sijan Hall. Every few minutes a group of 2-6 basics would march from Sijan to Vandenberg while accompanied by an upperclassman. My wife was insistent that we wait and see if our son would walk by. After two hours, I had given up hope. But suddenly, there he was! He was in a group of 6 basics, looking miserable, marching by. And wow, what a nice new haircut! (He later told us he wasn't miserable at all, just enduring the moment.)
After that, it was off for refreshments of the adult variety.
The next day was the swearing in ceremony, but I'll leave that description to someone else.
Anyway, my two cents is that attending I-Day was a once in a lifetime event for the parent as well as the cadet. I recommend that you see it yourself if you can.
 
Very Windy Here, Too

MN-Dad-2016 said:
Fathers, don't forget to bring some tissues. It can be windy so your eyes water.:wink:
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I've noticed it has been windy both indoors and out ever since I got the phone call that told me my DS got the BFE. It seems windiest when I read posts like this and think of the journey that he is about to start.:wink:

I also met General Gould and Paula at an academy information session ~18 months ago in South Bend. Nice is an understatement. Makes me so thankful that we have leaders like that in our military.
 
Priceless memory

Mikeandcris said:
Anyway, my two cents is that attending I-Day was a once in a lifetime event for the parent as well as the cadet. I recommend that you see it yourself if you can.
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Mikeandcris, that is not 2 cents, it is priceless!
Thanks for sharing.
 
Thanks for everyone's input-- I know my parents are the really sentimental types, and so I think they would just feel more of that "closure" as they get a visual of me leaving on that bus.

I'm really glad to hear of the Oath Taking ceremony on Friday-- I think my parents might want to know about that one. I'll forward them all the tips + such (and warn them of the wind so they can bring sunglasses and tissues).
 
My dilemma has been mostly settled.. no flights leave in between my graduation day and I-day, so I have to leave early. Since I have brothers graduating with me, my parents will have to be there! Time to look into that breakfast club :smile:
 
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