AFROTC Help! (Especially from Parents/adults)

Discussion in 'ROTC' started by RideOn, Dec 8, 2011.

  1. RideOn

    RideOn New Member

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    So, I got offered a type 2 scholarship but my parents are VERY unsupportive and want me to give up the scholarship AND AFROTC and I'm not sure how to talk them around. Any thoughts?

    I can't pay for school without them, even with the scholarship, so unless I can talk them around I have to drop, which I REALLY don't want to do.
     
  2. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator

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    Well, I'm not sure if i can give you any advice... but it would certainly help folks if you could identify their objections. I'm sure they're the obvious ones, but you know what happens when you ***-u-me. Can you elaborate?

    In them meantome, do you think you can get them to speak to a nearby cadre? Perhaps that can help alleviate their concerns where they can get questions answered?

    Is unsupportive the same as "No way will I pay room and board, etc. if you do that?" :frown:
     
  3. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    Taking a leap here, but I am assuming they have offered their reasons why they don't want you to go AFROTC.

    Is it out fear?

    Fear that you could be assigned to a base in Japan and they won't see you for yrs?
    Fear that you could be in harm's way?
    Fear of losing you?

    Is it out of their anti-military beliefs? In other words they believe war doesn't solve anything, but instead it creates bigger problems.

    What exactly is their opposition to having you join? There has to be a reason behind it if they are adamant they will withdraw financial assistance if you do this course.

    Now, the only way to get them to accept is for you to be an adult. Being an adult means assuaging their fears or beliefs with common sense.

    ~~~If it is fear that you will go away and never be home again once you are AD. The fact is you will get 30 days of leave every yr. They can visit you too wherever you are, let's say they come 2X a yr for 10 days at a clip. That is 20 days a yr.

    Now you are at 50 days, 24/7 with them every yr. Just family time.

    Let's say you don't go AF, you go corporate. You move out into your own home, 25 mins. away. Do they honestly believe as a 24 yr old, you will be there more than 1X a week for a family dinner?

    Of course you will not. You will do as all kids, get married and have a family, those weekly dinners may dwindle down to 2X monthly for a couple of hours.

    However, even when you get married in the AF, you will come home, and there will be no distractions. So, in essence they will have more family time with you compared to the corporate world. It may be every few months, but during those times it will be all family.

    Are there any AFB's near you. Remind her that even if the closest one is 8 hrs by car, you can still come home for the Holidays. It is not as if you will be in Timbucktoo. Bullet was stationed for @11 yrs out of his 21 within 7 hrs from home.

    ~~~ If it is fear that it is dangerous and you can die, well the fact is more people statistically die in car accidents than an AF officer, including combat.

    The AF is probably the safest branch to be in. They are constantly teased as being the Chair Force or the Banker branch.

    Fear of losing you?

    The fact is if you really want this and because of their demands you may opt not to accept the scholarship. However, if you do they may have already lost you because you will grow to resent them when you are sitting at your 9-5 job looking at the sky and thinking what if?

    That is a very hard pill to swallow as a parent.

    Finally, not the card I would ever play, but it is part of the equation. You can say, fine, I won't accept it, but just understand when I graduate from college I can go OCS, and will be in the AF anyway if that is what I want.

    You never ever in my mind lay down an ultimatum unless you are willing to accept the negative option.

    Don't do a knee jerk right now.

    I am assuming because you are a SR in HS, you are 17, and because of that fact you cannot accept the scholarship without their permission since you are still a minor.

    There is a reason for their opinion, you need to talk it out, and keep talking it out until there is a resolution.

    I am not saying you will sway them, I am saying they love you and most likely their decision right now is based on fear.

    I would also suggest you ask/beg them to join this site before they make a final decision. They may be able to get their own perspective and change their opinion.

    Good luck.
     
  4. Packer

    Packer Member

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    I think he is a college programmer.
     
  5. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator

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    You're right Packer, since OP talked about parent's also wanting him to drop AFROTC. Certainly has me scratching my head.
     
  6. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    Packer you may be correct looking at his other posts. When a poster says Type 2, it traditionally refers to HSSP, Type 1,2, or 7. I do believe you are correct because if I am recalling correctly the AFROTC board for HSSP is meeting now.

    However, if that is the case and they are an IS, the OP's parents knew already he was in AFROTC. If he is in AFROTC currently, he than knows their issues re: the AF.

    My next questions would be:
    1. They paid this yr and you are in AFROTC, why would they do a 180 degree turn?
    2. Did you tell them you were applying for the scholarship
    3. Did they understand even without the scholarship, but in AFROTC you would be commissioned when you entered college. Or did they think you could walk away and AFROTC was like JROTC in HS?
     
  7. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator

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    I suspect the parents were hoping they wouldn't have to be the bad guys, or thought it was just another class. If the former then perhaps there is still hope.
     
  8. Packer

    Packer Member

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    Without more info, I have no idea how to provide any meaningful advice.

    I believe most of these these deals have to do with controlling rather than supporting parents. Wanting to serve ones country is an honorable thing to do and I have a difficult time with anyone that tries to actively prevent someone from doing so.

    I hate to cast too many stones because there are a few things my kids could decide to do that I don't think I could support.:rolleyes:
     
  9. JeRDLe

    JeRDLe Member

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    I can see two possible options here for continuing with the program if your parents refuse to change their minds. The first is to do what many college students do: accept the scholarship, get a student loan from the government, and possibly get a part time job. The scholarship will pay tuition, and the $300 a month will get you $1200-$1500 a semester.

    The second option is long winded and cruel to your parents, but its your perogative. Tell your parents you will give it up, don't give it up, apply the scholarship to your tuition. If the parents make the check out to you, cash it, apply what you need, and put the rest in a savings account. If they make it out to the college instead of you, I would call up the school's billing office and ask how credits are applied if you overpay. Then if they make it out to the college, apply the full check to your school, then let the excess be applied as credit to your next semester or just refunded to you depending on the school policy. Once you join college, regardless of your age (be it 12 or 22), the college is prohibited by federal law from releasing any of your college information to your parents unless you specifcally authorize them to (your bill/classes/grades ect.). If paying out of state tuition, you should have enough money after a single year to pay room and board for the rest of your college life. If in state, you need to progress to field training before you reach that point. At field training of course, your parents will learn the truth either way.

    The parents on this forum will likely disagree with this option as adamently as your parents seem to disagree with you wanting to complete AFROTC, and I certainly understand it. Just remember that if you want to become an officer, you CAN, it's not something your parents can stop.
     
  10. Packer

    Packer Member

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    Be careful with this one. Deception will likely lead to no good.

    "I will not lie, steal, cheat or seek to deceive or tolerate those who do"
     
  11. JeRDLe

    JeRDLe Member

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    *"We will not lie,steal, or cheat, nor tolerate among us anyone who does."
     
  12. Packer

    Packer Member

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    You are correct.

     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2011
  13. JeRDLe

    JeRDLe Member

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    and yes, in case it was not implied enough, that is an option that could come back to bite you.
    #1 goal should always be convincing your parents.
     
  14. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator

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    Yes. And Deception leads to Guilt. Guilt leads to Anger. Anger leads to Hate, and Hate leads to the dark side.

    If parents cannot be convinced I (personally) would accept the scholarship, get myself emancipated from my parents (since they won't financially support me) and file my FAFSA that way.

    But of course the best way is to convince the parents.

    We still need to hear from OP as to what's really gonig on with them. The rest is specualtion and probably not too helpful (he said after his own post). :rolleyes:
     
  15. chiromed0

    chiromed0 Member

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    As a parent, not a vet, and very supportive of the military I'd say cut your parents some slack. They love you and military/college or not THEY are your support system for the rest of your life.

    Having said that, have a "real" conversation with them and listen more than you talk. Ask them (don't tell them) to consider your feelings/ambitions, etc., and come to a compromise. If you need their dough then they have a say in your education whether you want them to or not. You will be happier in the end.

    Lastly, many non military families have a "tv" impression of military life, etc. and think everyone who joins ends up dying in some God forsaken place, which of course, couldn't be further from the truth for most of the military. So they are probably just ignorant, scared and want to protect you...give them some benefit of the doubt but open a mature line of communication with them and maybe, have them talk with a recruiter or school ROTC.

    Don't lie to them...bad idea.
     

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