After receiving an appointment

Discussion in 'Military Academy - USMA' started by asquared09, Feb 22, 2016.

  1. asquared09

    asquared09 New Member

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    Any parents or currents cadets or appointed cadet candidates that can attest to this?

    For so long, I have waited to receive the BFE. Like many others, I worked very hard and made endless sacrifices. And, as anticipated, I was absolutely through the roof when I found out I got in. An interesting and rather unexpected mesh of emotions have been lingering around lately, though.

    I'll be super excited then my mind will start bombarding questions like- what if you don't make friends? what if you suck? what if you become a failure? what if you can't handle life there? Essentially, my mind becomes a black hole of doubts. I'm not expecting WP to be easy- I'll be working harder than ever. However, these doubts are not going away.

    Of course, my mind hasn't wrapped around the fact that I'll be living thousands of miles away from my family and buddies, either. Maybe I just need time to process everything. (No, I haven't made the trek out there yet. soon though) Any thoughts?

    Thank you
     
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  2. EOD/SEALmom

    EOD/SEALmom Member

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  3. USMA_ljm

    USMA_ljm Member

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    You were chosen for a reason asquared. Trust in that and in yourself. I understand the appointed students have started a group on facebook and I think snapchat, get involved with them, it will very likely ease your concerns.
     
  4. Dixieland

    Dixieland Member

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    I think doubts like yours are normal and are experienced by lots of people heading off to a new, life-changing experience. (One of my children voiced the exact same questions as yours heading off to college.) I'll bet many parents on the forum felt this way about the birth of their first child---I know I had lots of worries and self-doubt about being a good parent! :biggrin: So I think your doubts/worries are normal and you will definitely work through some of them in the coming months.

    You will make many friends at Beast and some of these will become best friends that stick with you even after you graduate. You will draw together as you learn the ropes and find your place at West Point. You will fail at some things but you will be awesome at others---everyone does this. There will be times when you hate West Point and times when you love West Point. You will meet amazing people and you will meet jerks. But it is all worth it in 4 years when you graduate and finally realize your goal of becoming a United States Army officer. Then you are off to another exciting, new adventure once again!

    Schedule a trip to West Point and take advantage of your overnight visit. Be sure to take the 2-hour tour available at the Visitors' Center as well so you have a sense of the history of West Point. Cadets stay in touch with the folks back home by Oovoo or FaceTime, phone calls, and texts. Parents love to send care packages and those are always a welcome taste of home. Family and friends will figure out how they can visit you and you will look forward to leave and visits home. Cadets who live far away often go home with buddies who live nearby and families often extend invitations for Thanksgiving as well. My grad brought a Beast buddy home for Thanksgiving because it was too far to travel and we loved having an extra around the table.

    Don't let your West Point worries spoil the rest of your senior year. You will be fine.
     
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  5. VelveteenR

    VelveteenR Just gathering dust in the nursery...

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    @asquared09: Let me tell you something that may ease your mind a bit. I believe all appointees have moments of self-doubt about the unknowns of academy life. What you’re going through is perfectly normal. I know our son had his moments, and he’s a pretty confident character. He worried about not being good enough physically – and he’s a rower. But guess what? He found WP to be the most supportive community he’s ever been in. He says there is a pervasive spirit of “competitive cooperation.” Everyone there wants to be the best, every cadet puts it all out there either in the classroom or in the gym or on the field, but no one will leave a brother behind. That is the essence of the term “All for the corps.” You are competing all the time, but everyone has different strengths, and all of those strengths are valued. Where you are strong, you will help others. Where you are weak, you will be helped.

    Here’s an example. Our son called us one day soon after the academic year started to tell us a great story. He said that every day he’d go over to the gym to do the indoor obstacle course, and he just couldn’t do the rope climb very well. But every time he tried it, another cadet who saw him struggle would leave his routine and come over to help our son. Every single time. And not the same cadet. Those same cadets will have no mercy under competitive circumstances, but they will do everything they can to make sure you are a worthy competitor. You will not be left behind. You will not suck (at everything). You will not fail if the corps can help it.

    West Point has invited you in. You are worthy. You are able. Let the doubt go and try to relax. You have a big adventure in front of you and an entire corps of cadets who will help you through it. Yes, you will be fine.
     
  6. Capt MJ

    Capt MJ Member

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    And it's time to trot out that old nugget: "What do they call the cadet/mid who graduated last in the class?" 2nd lieutenant! (Or Ensign.)
     
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  7. lef9820

    lef9820 Member

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    I'm in the same position as you. West Point was always my dream, and I was elated when I got in! Now that I'm getting ready to accept my appointment, a lot of emotions are hitting me. It is actually becoming a reality, and in just 4 months we will have 90 seconds to say goodbye to our parents and embark on a life that is completely different and unknown. Very nerve-wracking!
     
  8. tug_boat

    tug_boat Member

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    As in life after WP, a series of successes and failures, goals and trigger points. WP is tough but life is much more difficult, especially when you take on a family and you are responsible and accountable to them. You will have your objectives and limits well established at WP and you'll quickly learn to "embrace the suck" to survive. There is a heavy undertow between cadets you'll have to navigate unlike anything else you've experienced. WP isn't for everyone and you'll know within your first year if you want to keep the grueling pace it demands from you. You'll make friends and acquaintances, it will be forced upon you. You'll be part of a team that will demand every fiber of your being and may ask you for that too. If you don't become a team player, you'll be spit out. You must go into WP with the mind set of burning the boats that took you to WP and realize WP is your new mother. She will teach you, clothe you, feed you, challenge you like you have never been before. You must give of yourself, and know your new identity will be Army. the United States of America Army! The greatest thats ever been!

    The 90 seconds is to cut your umbilical cord and be you.

    Take a big deep breathe on R-Day and take on life......you've earned it!

    The most difficult job in the world you may ask. Being a devoted husband and father. But its also the most rewarding job ever!

    Push Hard, Press Forward
     
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  9. 16maybt

    16maybt Member

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    I am feeling the exact same way. I have always dreamt of being in this position but not that I am, I feel like the admissions committee made a mistake and I won't be able to handle the academics at WP, however I'm sure I can. It's definitely a weird feeling!
     
    lef9820 likes this.
  10. ca2midwestmom

    ca2midwestmom Member

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    For parents of soon-to-be new cadets -- there will be highs and lows, doubts, what-ifs and lots of emotions. I don't like to do "what ifs" -- too much stress to think about something you have no control over. But as your new cadet starts Beast and then progresses into the academic year, you will ride a different roller coaster. You may or may not be his/her sounding board when things go well or not as planned. Your new cadet may get injured or homesick, or decide WP/military isn't really for them and want to leave, or not do well academically and be asked to leave. You may make new parent friends, only to find out those parents' cadets are leaving after 1 semester, or 1 year. Hopefully you will hear about your kid's "cool" experiences, or the various opportunities they've been offered, or the celebrities they've met. You may hear about great roommates and not-so-great roommates. You may hear about struggles in the classroom, or you'll keep your fingers crossed that your Plebe gets a high zero in military movement. You know this is your kid's experience, but you will feel like you've been along for the ride. Take it one day at a time, support them where & when you can, and trust that your son/daughter is where he/she is supposed to be. And if (when) your cadet hits a few bumps in the road, trust that those in charge are looking out for him/her and want him/her to succeed and graduate. I'm continually amazed at the opportunities available at WP, and all that is going on daily. In the end the cadets have to take advantage of those opportunities and give 110%, but the parents/family have a wonderful front row seat and can encourage them along the way.
     
  11. RedDragon

    RedDragon Member

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    These are normal feelings to have. There is so much anticipation that builds up to the actual receipt of an appointment. As a parent of a current USAFA cadet and another who is weighing 2 appointments I can tell you that doubt sometimes creeps in. Our USAFA cadet was apprehensive about being able to handle the academics. He went in with good grades and decent but not stellar ACTs. What he does have is a strong worth ethic and the ability to juggle and prioritize. He is thriving there. 2nd kid is starting to have the same fears but has had to work much harder for his grades in high school so I believe he will succeed. WP selected you for a reason and that is that they feel you will succeed....Congrats and best of luck.
     
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  12. asquared09

    asquared09 New Member

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    Wow, I wasn't expecting this level of support and understanding. Thank you so much. These comments have helped and will continue to help me as I face any doubts or obstacles. (I'll have to screenshot them before I report.) Furthermore, I hope to be able to provide the same support to my fellow cadets whenever they need it.

    Finally, my two cents...I'm sure someone somewhere once said, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." I have no doubt the going will get tough at times, but we are there for a reason and a higher purpose. We are part of a bigger team.

    Congrats to all those that have been accepted and can't wait to meet you all on R-day. Thank you again to all those that have offered encouragement.
     
  13. forumjunkie

    forumjunkie Member

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  14. Capt MJ

    Capt MJ Member

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    asquared, you will come to recognize this feeling throughout your life - some big challenge coming up, the tiny voice of self-doubt, the nerves. Once you are in and doing it, you will be just fine.

    You feel this now, and you will learn to cope. Use the self-talk, compartmentalization, PT, stress management routines that work for you. You will feel the same way your 1/C year as the Real World of your first assignment stares you in the face. The night before reporting to each new duty station, as responsibility grows. You will be sleepless the night before your change of command ceremony - as a colonel or captain, 20+ years into your career - or before your first day in a new job in civilian clothes.

    You learn to recognize this and deploy your coping mechanisms. Say to yourself: "Be Here Now." Stay centered and present for whatever you are doing right now, and recognize the run-up pattern for what it is.

    It's also a great sign your ego is not so big that you think you won't break a sweat!

    How do I know this? Because I was "all of the above" before each new duty station, and in the weeks leading up to a change of command. Every time I got in "OMG Mode," I realized, "oh, the usual, calm down, have faith, once I get in the job I will be fine. Be Here Now."
     
  15. bookreader

    bookreader Member

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    To the OP, you mentioned taking a scrreen shot of this post before Beast. Just an FYI, but you won't have your phone during Beast. What you may want to do (assuming you would like to reread some of these comments as encourgement during Beast) is print out your favorite comments and mail them to yourself at Beast. So a day or so before leaving for WP, pop it in the mail to your WP address.
     
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  16. jayo86

    jayo86 New Member

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    My son received his MOC call yesterday afternoon and we're just waiting for the portal to update. It was one thing to want this and work hard trying to achieve this goal; it's completely different when you have been notified that you're accepted. I could tell that nerves were starting to set in and this is a perfect thread of comments to show him. Thank you so much for the support in this forum!
     
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  17. Felix Rosa

    Felix Rosa #Dream#Future#Success

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    Your DS and I are on the same boat..I was also contacted yesterday, still waiting for the portal to update! And the nerves regarding the academic load and other things are setting in! But hey! If that's what he and I want, we finally got it! Now its time to hone our abilities and be prepared for R-Day! :D congratulations on his appointment. I'll see him there.
    Go Army!!
     
  18. jayo86

    jayo86 New Member

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    Thanks Felix!! I should put you in touch with him! Congratulations on your appointment!! I can tell you've been waiting anxiously. :)
     

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