I am curious. If someone is near a 4.0 in high school and "America's Best and Brightest", how can they struggle in several classroom subjects? I understand that some people are more science oriented/gifted. But how can someone fall from a 4.0 GPA in HS (with a strong ACT score) and drop to a 2.0 GPA average while working their butt off? Obviously they are not out partying and skipping classes which often happens in civilian college.
I'm not being judgmental. I'm trying to understand how this can happen.
That's the same kind of question the cadet or midshipman asks himself.
"I was gifted. I was a 4.0 student. I took 7 APs and passed the tests. I had leadership positions. I was liked. I had volunteer activities. I played sports. I was relied on and valued in the groups I worked with. And now, in the course of a summer I'm having issues in the classroom and I, who used to attend selective summer programs, will have to go to summer school. And to make things worse, if I don't do well, I have to go home, a failure. And failing is something I've never really done."
So how does that happen? For me, I was very organized in high school. I got great grades, did well on tests, had friends and played sports. July 1, 2002, I reported to the Coast Guard Academy and had a rude awakening. I wasn't anything special. Plenty of people got great grades, did well on tests, had friends and played sports. Swab Summer was rough. I think at some point I felt like I hadn't earned it, that I wasn't good enough and that I couldn't make it. I had one swab summer roommate in particular who got me through it. At my lowest point he supported me and pushed me to keep going. He knows he did it. I've told him more than once. He's a good guy.
So you go from being a "big deal" to really doubting yourself (at least I did). During swab summer my cadre said I was a bad cadet, and that I didn't deserve to be associated with the Coast Guard. So they made me get tape, cover up all of the "Coast Guard" on my gym gear and write "Civlian" over it. Then, we went to a slightly more relaxed activity at Stonington and my classmates asked me "why do you have tape on there..." and "why does it say civilian?" I had been instructed by my cadre to tell anyone who asked "because I don't deserve to be here." It wasn't constructive. It didn't eventually make me a better swab or a better cadet. It crushed me. I was a joke. Can you imagine realizing what a joke you are, and then thinking about how disappointed your parents would be? The people that invested so much in you, and were so proud you were selected to go to such an elite school? To think of them also realizing what apparently your cadre already know... you don't deserve to be there? That you were unworthy?
And I will say, that takes a toll on you, whether you know you're the "best and brightest" or not. A few years later I told a nice platoonmate about that, and she started to cry. And I can't say I didn't doubt myself for awhile after that. I felt like, maybe, I just got by. Maybe I didn't deserve to be there. Maybe I wasn't "worthy of the traditions of officers in the United States Coast Guard." It affected me longer than the summer, or a year. I can promise you, as a cadre, I didn't do anything like that to my swabs. I yelled and whispered, and swabs would sometimes cry, but I never told them they were worthless or that they weren't worthy of the Coast Guard.
And then swab summer was over. But the rough 4/c wasn't that much easier, except now I wasn't just being told what do to, I also had to manage my time.
So in the middle of this culture shock, I also had school work to do. And, while school came easliy at my magnet high school, I had to juggle this work with cleaning and getting yelled at (a lot), making some friends (but not as many as I would have liked), playing sports and being ready for the PFE, etc. Maybe I was depressed, at some point, I don't know. I do know I wasn't have a very good time, and sometimes hated my life. Honestly, now, I can't remember what I did to escape it. I thought I hung out with friends when i should have been studying, but I dont' remember doing that.
There's more going on at an academy than just "going to college." It isn't the jump from high school to college that is a burden. The true burden is, while you're making that jump from high school to college, other things are being piled on too. Some people roll with it (like many of my classmates) and some have some adjusting to do (like me). There's nothing wrong with having to adjust, but at some point you have to remember, you are worthy, you have earned it, and you can do it.
