Candidate Writing Sample

Discussion in 'Air Force Academy - USAFA' started by Raptor22, Jul 30, 2016.

  1. Raptor22

    Raptor22 Member

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    I recently completed and submitted my writing sample. I reread it after it was all said and done (I know I should've done that before I submitted it) and noticed that there were a few errors. Does anyone know if admissions is more looking at content or grammar? Is this something that could be disqualifying?
     
  2. Raptor22

    Raptor22 Member

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    I have hard copies saved on word. I know there's nothing we can do now but is it possible that someone can still read over them and tell me what you think?
     
  3. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    The common response here is don't rely on posters here to review your essay, but take it to your AP ENG/LIT teacher, GC or even your ALO. There are several reasons why:
    1. Those people are in the habit of reading essays for college/SAs and scholarship application annually. If anyone can give you a glimpse of how you fared it would be those specific people.
    2. This is an anonymous forum. You do not their background.
    ~ I don't have enough fingers, toes in my family, including my pets paws where other candidates will say: Sure I will read it. To me that is like the blind leading the blind. Why on earth would you want to share it with somebody else that has no experience at all in this situation? However, many of the OPs like you will do so without a second thought. Worse yet, take their advice from an editing aspect.
    ~~ Think about it...would you take driving lessons from someone that only has a permit too? I doubt it, but that is in essence what you are doing when you ask their opinion.
    3. Let's assume you have an amazing essay even with some grammatical errors. You open yourself up to someone lifting portions of your essay. Again, you don't know where that OP lives, their RD for admissions or when they will be boarded. Can you imagine if in the long shot, you and that other poster both get boarded on the same day, and now the board has read very similar lines within a few hours. They are left with a question...which one of you plagiarized the other, and which one is original author.
    ~ Yes, this is rare. Yes, some people will flame me for suggesting that candidates "lift" parts of other candidate's essays. Many times it will not be intentional. They just lift the idea, not so much the words, but people can read between the lines.

    Finally, I am not offering to review your essay, but here is what I will say that you should stick away from regarding an essay.
    1. Try to stay away from every sentence containing, me, myself or I..
    ~ It becomes very repetitive and for myself, I get bored by this structure. It will actually lose my attention regarding what you are trying to state, and increase my attention to how many times within the essay you wrote, me/myself or I.
    2. Try to stay away from the typical....when I was 6....it has been my goal since.... yadda yadda yadda. Instead, make it unique.

    Best of luck. Learn from this lesson for your MoC essays. Edit, re-edit and edit one more time.
     
  4. 2018DAD

    2018DAD Member

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    Given the chance would you turn in anything but your very best? To knowingly submit something that is great on content and passable on grammar (or vice versa) is to shoot yourself in the foot! You have the time, the resources (Pima suggestions), and you know it has to be good, why on earth would you turn in anything that is not as perfect as you can make it?
    To get the Nom or to get the appointment means that you are competing, competing with others locally, statewide and nationally. You better believe that most everyone leave little to chance when it is such a gimme assignment. Other than the reasonable deadline, this, planned carefully, should be the absolute best you can muster because it will be a reflection of yourself on many levels.
    It is attention to detail and how that is accomplished that will demonstrate to whomever the seriousness that you went about in fulfilling the task. I have spoken with those that review Nom packets and the very first thing they assess is did you follow all directions to the letter. Are there 3 LORs instead of the 2 that were specifically requested? In a competitive district, I have been told, that is grounds for not proceeding further on that packet when they inventory the contents of the packets. With so many applying, again in very competitive districts and states, they have to have some method of weeding out the hundreds of Nom packets they receive.
    Now back to your essay. If you knew, for example, that someone else that is a stickler for detail and always turned in perfect work due to their carefulness, preciseness and excellent writing style was seeking that Nom or admissions review....how would you feel putting your work up to theirs without making sure it was the very best it could be??
    Now, go get the help you are allowed and put your very best effort into making it the best it can be! Remember, your competition is!!!
     

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