Can't believe DS will be home in 2 days

Discussion in 'Service Academy Parents' started by Dad, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. Dad

    Dad Member

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    He's been gone since June and has endured BCT as well as most of his 1st semester in college. Any ideas on what to expect when he is home from USAFA? Any recommendations? :biggrin:
     
  2. NorthernCalMother

    NorthernCalMother Member

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    Let him call the shots. Have everything ready for "home is unchanged," but be prepared for surprises. Might want to sleep and experience the joys of solitude, might want to spend all his leave w/ friends from h.s., might just want to be w/ family. Try not to book him for anything.

    All these behaviors are completely understandable, right? Just let him be who he wants to be, and be happy he's there.

    You'll probably have him home again before long, and any behavior/information/interaction you're hoping for @ Thanksgiving, you can get @ Christmas.
     
  3. Stealth_81

    Stealth_81 Super Moderator Moderator Founding Member

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    Definitely let him take the lead. One of the hardest thing for us was remembering not to ask a million questions. He has been living the life for 5 months and this will be his first break from it. He may or may not want to talk much about it. With our son it was not until 2 degree year that we could actually have a conversation about his life at USAFA.

    Stealth_81
     
  4. osdad

    osdad Member

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    Be prepared to see a great reduction to the list of "life long friends" he used to hang with. My (now) 3/C Mid really didn't want to see but a handful of the old gang and pretty much stayed at home. When we saw some of their parents afterward it was "Too bad the kids didn't all get together over the holidays like they used to." I didn't tell them that that was by choice. Even after only a couple of months, her friends were her shipmates from Mother B not her HS buddies to whom she couldn't relate.

    But, they're all different so who knows.
     
  5. AFAMOM08

    AFAMOM08 Member

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    Enjoy the moments while he is home!!!!! I'll never forget standing at the airport as my son came through the door in his uniform that first Thanksgiving! He looked the same, yet very different. The time went by so fast it seemed like it was on fast forward. The good thing for you is that your son will be back home in a few weeks for Christmas, when you will have more time to get some normalcy back. Our son has always wanted to see as many of our family members, friends and his closest friends when he is at home. Even now we always have action packed weeks when we get together. We always let him take the lead.

    One thing that I didn't expect that first year was the huge let down I had after that first Christmas break. It seemed that at each step we had something to look forward to--Parent's weekend after BCT, Thanksgiving and then Christmas, so it was easy to anticipate the next time we would see him. I completely fell apart when we said good bye after Christmas break when it hit me that he would never really be home again. It gets easier, but there is still always a letdown when we say good bye. My advice is to make sure that you have something special to do on the days that you take your son to the airport to make it easier on yourself.
     
  6. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    I agree with OSDAD, but also disagree.

    I think that is more common when he comes home for Winter break. T-DAY they are all excited to hang out together for the 1st time since they left.

    For the SA/SMC/ROTC cadet. It is the 1st time they come home, and now when they are hanging playing X-Box, this is when they realize the true fork in their roads.

    The traditional bud for the past 4 yrs in HS, can't wrap their mind around the fact that they can't sleep in until 10. Traditional freshman may not have a class until noon, so this is unfathomable. They don't get that they need permission to go home for a weekend, or that if they want to eat lunch at 11, 12, 1, or 3 because they are hungry that is not an option.

    It may become a teasing point, where your cadet gets the light bulb in his mind, that they don't get it.

    The breakdown between these friendships usually occur after T-Day, during Winter, and than spring. When he says I am going on a cruse this summer, and they all think cool, what cruise line, where are you going. Only to be told...the Navy. Their thought process is what fun is that? His thought process is I can't wait.

    Let him decompress. This is the 1st time in months that he will not be required to make his bed, leave wet towels on his floor and go out, or raid the fridge at 1 in the morning while he is skyping.

    You giving him space is the best gift you can give. You demanding, desiring or expecting him to wanting to hang with you because he missed you as much as you missed him, will only cause hurt feelings.

    Just be thankful on his first morning home you can walk in his bedroom and see him sleeping in his bed. Be thankful that you mutter under your breath the wet towels on the floor. Come next Monday you will want those wet towels.

    Whatever he does or doesn't do will not matter next Monday, that welcome home hug will matter.
     
  7. AF6872

    AF6872 Member

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    They will sleep, sleep, sleep and then sleep some more. Then at Christmas they will sleep again.:thumb:
     
  8. Dad

    Dad Member

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    Thanks everyone. Great advice. :thumb:
     
  9. mom3boys

    mom3boys Parent

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    My cadet is a little different. He still hangs out w/ the same 4 or 5 hs buddies when he's home. These guys have been friends since 2nd grade, and I suspect they always will be.
     
  10. singaporemom

    singaporemom Member

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    Don't make my mistake by jumping out of the car at the airport without putting the car in park!!! :redface:

    Fortunately I was able to jump back in, stop the car and safely knock over my mid with a giant hug. The people around us, must have thought he had returned from war, since I ran across the median screaming his name!:redface:


    Okay, we got that over with, spoiled him rotten his first visit home. His room hadn't changed since he had left for plebe summer, except for the fact that it was picked up and you could see the floor....but he remedied that immediately.

    The Traditional Ultimate Frisbee game was factored in to our Thanksgiving plans, and the only thing I asked of him was to text me if he was bringing anyone home for food.

    My mid returned with a case of plebe summer hack that had turned into bronchitis so we immediately took him to a clinic for much needed antibiotics. By Friday he was happy and healthy.

    He slept in, wore everything in his closet, and had a great time with his friends. ENJOY!!!
     
  11. Dad

    Dad Member

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    Thank you for the laugh AND the advice. :biggrin:
     
  12. Stealth_81

    Stealth_81 Super Moderator Moderator Founding Member

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    I think that for SMC and ROTC cadets the Winter break thing may be true, but for the SA cadets the disconnect is more pronounced by Thanksgiving. The SA cadets have been gone for two months longer having reported to BCT soon after high school graduation. This does not give them the 'final summer' with their high school friends and the distancing begins earlier. Also, the SA cadets have much less casual contact with their high school friends due to restrictions.

    That has been our experience, but every person will be different.

    Stealth_81
     
  13. MIHOSER

    MIHOSER Member

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    My wife practically has a countdown clock going and our son is a Youngster.
     
  14. singaporemom

    singaporemom Member

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    Right there with her MIHOSER! In less than 7 hours and 36 minutes my AROTC DS lands and in 1 day 9 hours and 27 minutes my Youngester DS lands.... but who's counting?
     
  15. Pima

    Pima Parent

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    Our DS lands in 4 hours, will do a load of laundry and leaves in 7 hrs to drive 4 hrs to visit his GF. We will get Sunday!
     
  16. singaporemom

    singaporemom Member

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    Feel for you Pima... fortunately our GFs live around the corner...:smile: and if I invite their familes for Tday dinner then everybody's happy! Nothing like 15 people over for dinner:eek:
     
  17. osdad

    osdad Member

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    DD will not be home this TG :frown:

    She's got Academy things to do on the weekend and it just wasn't worth it for a one & 1/2 day visit. She's going to a teammate's house for a large celebration.

    Now add in a shortend Chirstmas break for the same duties, and :frown::frown::frown: Luckily we're not too far and can drive down whenever OSMOM or me need a hug.
     
  18. bruno

    bruno Retired Staff Member

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    Yep- my son is a First Classman at VMI and managed to use some "First Class privilege" to get home yesterday a couple of days earlier than we expected him- his first time coming home for Thanksgiving . Demolishing the fridge followed by serious Rack time is the order of the day.
     
  19. USNA1982BGO

    USNA1982BGO Retired Staff Member

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    We are very Blessed that our cadet was able to come home a few days early for recruiting leave. Other than visiting local high schools Monday and Tuesday I can say the rest of the time has been spent sleeping, surfing the Internet, going out to eat with some high school friends, hair appointment, staying up late and did I mention sleeping??? :shake:
    Wishing everyone on SAF a very happy, safe and relaxing Thanksgiving break!
     
  20. arewethereyet

    arewethereyet Member

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    Home safe and sound

    Retrieved my C4C from the airport earlier tonight. This is his first trip home since leaving for BCT in June. So, so happy to have him here and grateful for the time we'll spend together. Happy Thanksgiving!
     

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