"Carrier" on PBS tonight

Watched the final episodes last night, and my heart broke sooo many times! The poor kid whose gf was pregnant and he just kept hoping she would change her mind...I wanted to jump in the tv and shake him!
Then the story about the Dad who got custody of his son and the sons mom was killed.
Finally watching the wife who miscarried, you could see how her husband just felt like crap that it happened. I could so relate to her story since I had a medical issue when he was in Korea for a 4 mos. TDY. It really does make the guys feel like crap, b/c you sit there as a spouse and say it's okay I understand...and they feel totally helpless for being so far away when you needed them the most, but yet you are trying to comfort them. People who aren't in this life will think she was crazy and the Navy was heartless, but when I walked down the aisle I knew what I was in for, and my job has always been to make sure when Bullet goes up in the air his mind is on the mission and returning home to me, not if we are okay!
 
I regret I was unable to see the program, but based on a few comments above, let me offer my two cents...

Life aboard any Naval vessal is tough. REALLY tough. All the Army and USMC types who enjoy portraying the USN as a bunch of pansies living it up on the Love Boat are either a bit overenthusiastic in the interservice-rivalry department or are dumb as a box of rocks. Maybe both.

It is very difficult to live in a steel box that rocks and rolls all the time; to have a constant watch and evolution schedule that puts sleep and relaxation about 133rd on the list of the top 100 most important things to address. It's tough to be away from family for months at a stretch, often without any contact at all. These days they've got it easier. Snail Mail was all we had in my day. Still, it doesn't apply to vessels like submarines.

The drama you describe as having seen is quite real:

- One of my Chiefs (and still a dear friend all these years later) was having troubles with his wife. I was his sounding board (Yeah, ME, because I was his DIVO and he knew he could vent to me and no one else would ever know, and despite being almost 10 years his junior and never having been married myself. Go figure.).

- I once had a young sailor come in with a car loan he had signed at something like 25%. He paid over twice what the car was worth. Typical youngster screwup, and he was going totally broke. His payments were more than his entire take-home pay.

- I once processed a sailor for separation because he thought that not only would it be cool to use drugs, but it would be even COOLER to sell drugs to his shipmates. I was there when the BM1 physically dragged his ass off the ship and THREW him off the gangway into the arms of the base Master At Arms, who escorted him off the base.

- One time while my ship was in Panama, one of our sailors got busted by the local police with some Wacky Tobaccy. We left without him as he was facing a VERY LENGTHY jail term in Panama.

- I've seen sailors have to deal with deaths in the family, cheating wives (no ladies on board back then), homosexual shipmates who crossed the line, idiocies ashore (one pair decided to push a very expensive set of motorcycles into a very expensive set of luxury automobiles (I'm talking a few Mercedes and at least one Ferrari) while in Corfu, Greece. The US Government paid the damages and, if the calculations were correct, those two are STILL paying it back.).

- I had a Chief on my second ship who was a walking bulkhead of a brute get jumped and pistol-whipped outside the gate of Portsmouth Naval Shipyard in broad daylight. This man was 250 pounds of solid muscle and, to put it politely, "blended in" with the surrounding community. Hell of a lot of good it did him: he was in the hospital for over a week.

- I had a member of my crew be killed in an auto accident. I thank God to this day that my stint as the Casualty Assistance Officer had expired a few months before.

- I had a BM on my ship get disciplined because he urinated on one of his sailors when that sailor didn't do as ordered.

- I had a few fellow officers get stupid in a restaurant in Corfu, Greece and ruin the dinner of some of the locals. They were in hack until the deployment concluded 4 months later.

And the stories go on and on...

The bottom line is that the military in general, and the Navy in particular, is just a subset of the society from which the members are drawn. You get diamonds and you get turds. Most of the time, you get the high end of the stuff in between, and I've seen some real turds become diamonds. Throw them into a harsh and isolated environment, and you get some really interesting sea stories. Still, it all works out in the end because those who do well and those who remain all recognize that the best thing to do is to MAKE it work out.
 
All of your examples reminded me of when Bullet was a flight commander as an ALO (he had enlisted people under him in his jt assignment, when he was a FCC in the AF it was just officers)

Anyway, when they went on a TDY right after the military started to give out the credit cards, he had a married guy, who went to get a cash advance on the card and was declined. He came to find out his wife spent 8K on it, new furniture, diamond earrings, etc. As soon as this came to light the commander collected everyones credit cards, I of course asked Bullet how did he not notice the new furniture, or the earrings :eek:?

You are right the community is very tight knit in the military and many supervisors (1st shirts and FCC's) have to deal with assisting in a emotional role. Every yr, my heartbreaks when I know that we give out to young airman a full T-Day dinner because they can't afford to do it themselves. The OSS had 7 families that we made food baskets for this year

My other big beef...watching retirees show up at the commissary and clearing out the shelves of diapers and baby formula! I actually had a fight w/a retiree at Ft Bragg when I had a new born as they took all of the formula and I had my 6 mos. old in the shopping cart, I asked politely for 1 can. She informed me in her day children weren't allowed in the commissary, I told her in her day you were allowed to leave us in a sweltering car in the parking lot without being arrested by the MPS. As we all know how the commissary works, you don't pick the lane you go in, your told where to go, she was right in front of me, unloading, Milk, Bacon, diapers, formula, and cigarrettes, the young enlisted personnel with his wife and baby was right in front of her with no formula or diapers (since she took them all, they were next to me during the fight)and pd with food stamps. I told her I hope your children that are not in the military appreciate the fact that you took the last of the supplies so that those of us who could lose their AD loved one couldn't get it!

I know I will be a retiree soon enough, but I will always keep in my mind how financially difficult it is for the young married people who need the commissary to survive!
 
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