"Closest Friendships"

jwest182

USAFA Grad '19
5-Year Member
Joined
Feb 15, 2014
Messages
120
I had lunch with an SA second class, and the topic of the friendships an academy create was brought up. The cadet said something I found interesting: "I can look at some people and say "I really don't like you, but I would do anything to help you"". I was curious as to if anyone had any comments on this statement.

Thank you!

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I can't really comment from an SA's perspective but I can give you a perspective from an old enlisted guy. It's very true, I've met several people in the military that I didn't like or even call a friend but I knew we had each others back. Also along the same note I met some really good friends and the best leader I've met to date that I would gladly take a bullet for. I'd never let them hear the end of it but I would take the bullet! :D
 
I can't really comment from an SA's perspective but I can give you a perspective from an old enlisted guy. It's very true, I've met several people in the military that I didn't like or even call a friend but I knew we had each others back. Also along the same note I met some really good friends and the best leader I've met to date that I would gladly take a bullet for. I'd never let them hear the end of it but I would take the bullet! :D
If I may ask, what in your opinion made that leader so great? Also, thank you for your service!

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There are a few things about that statement to consider.

The first to jump out is that whoever is saying that cares about those people, even if they drive him/her nuts sometimes. It's a reflection on their commitment to serve others more than the friendship value involved.
There are definitely people I work with that I don't really like to hang out with at a social level, but would not hesitate to go to war with them. Social friendliness and reliability are not the same thing. One matters more at the BBQ, the other if we want to make it back to the the BBQ.
 
Oh yes. Some of my best friends in uniform were not cut out for command, got out of the service at the right time, and went on to successful civilian careers. There were those I didn't particularly like or spend time with as friends, but I knew they were trustworthy, committed and skilled, and I would have gladly followed them, served beside them, or led them.


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It's absolutely true.... and the "I don't like you" part tends to fade a bit the further you get from your academy time.

At any service academy, you'll see the best and worst (well maybe not the WORST, but certainly nothing they'll be proud of) in people, and they'll see the best and worst in you. Some people will rub you the wrong way, and you'll rub others the wrong way. But.... like family, when push comes to shove, you'd defend them. You'd let them crash on your couch if they needed it while they were in town. Years down the road, you'd sit down for lunch or a drink, and just talk.

I had about 200 classmates at CGA. I didn't like all of them. In fact, at the time, some of them I really didn't like and some didn't like me. There are things I did, ways I handled situations as a cadet, that today, at age 31, I would have changed. And I think the more I've realized what I could have done better, the more forgiving I've become of my classmates I didn't like at the time. I wasn't as perfect as I thought I was and they weren't as bad as I thought they were.

And on the flip side of the coin, you will also make some of the best, more reliable friends of your life. Often those friendships will eclipse your friendships from childhood and high school (which tends to be the case in college, anyway).
 
If I may ask, what in your opinion made that leader so great? Also, thank you for your service!

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He genuinely cared about the well being of the people he led. Let's put it this way, the first time I met him we had a small conversation. I ran into him again about a month and a half later at the clinic. He came up to me asked me if I was sick or if I was there for a wellness check for my wife which was pregnant with our first child. Innocent enough right? The point is I DIDN'T TELL HIM my wife was pregnant when we talk for at most 3 minutes the first time. He took the time to learn about me and my family just another A1C and as the Group Commander he had few people under him to say the least.

That's just one story but there's a ton like that about him and he had other great qualities but it's easier just to tell that story than to list it.
 
Thank you all for the responses!

I have always heard that the SAs and military service in general creates extremely strong bonds, this part of why I am pursuing this path!

Thanks!
 
Very strong bonds! Through the years my children have marveled at the bonds we forged at USAFA and maintained over the last 25+ years. They have seen friends come stay with us that we haven't seen in years, but act like we've never been apart. I am still very close to my doolie roomie, who is now a sponsor to my Mids at USNA! I think that was a big reason why they have pursued a similar lifestyle.
 
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