Dating

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Gator19, Oct 16, 2014.

  1. Gator19

    Gator19 New Member

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    What is the dating scene like at the academies? I have taken trips to both the Naval and Air Force Academies and, from what the cadets and midshipmen athletes say, it is somewhat frowned upon. I know about the 2% club, but what is the dating scene like between cadets and midshipmen? Didn't think this question was appropriate the the regular pages. :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
     
  2. osdad

    osdad Member

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    Who in their right mind would put 4000 intelligent, fit, energetic, driven, 18-23 y/o's in one place and allow them to date?

    But seriously, Mids and Cadets date. Yes, there are restrictions (fraternization, company, etc.) but if you want to find someone to date I’m sure there will be others with similar thoughts. That said, the 4:1 m/f ratio and sexual preference makes it “Not College”.
     
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  3. Boozebin

    Boozebin Member

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    Sorry this one made me laugh because of a past post LITS did on this topic and the term they use at the USCGA.:yllol:

    While the post made me laugh it did have a good insight that I'll pass on here. Remember that there is a 50/50 chance you will break up with the other person and you will STILL have to live them while you're at the SA. Just saying may not be the best of circumstances.:thumb:

    And before some of the more sterner response happen I'll say worry about getting in and staying in than what the night life looks like.:frown:
     
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  4. MedB

    MedB Parent

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    Standard answer... If the Academy wanted you to have a girlfriend then they would issue you one on I-day.


    Both DD and DS tell us the reality for the first year at least is that romance will be the LAST thing on your mind.... or should be. The days are crazy busy with studying, briefings, squad responsibilities, knowledge prep, mandatory formations, PC sessions, and much more. Add to that any ECs/clubs and IC commitments and you start to understand why there is little room for romance as a C4C. And don't forget all of the fraternization rules in place and other restrictions!

    Supposedly things start to change a bit as a C3C, but then you start to take on leadership and/or coaching responsibilities in addition to your own commitments.

    Bottom line... even if you manage to find time in your schedule the first year or two for romance, it's doubtful the object of your desire will have much free time that matches yours.
     
  5. fencersmother

    fencersmother Founding Member

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    One of my twins married a wonderful young lady who occasionally posts here and they seemed to have found time to date while at USAFA. :biggrin:
     
  6. Boozebin

    Boozebin Member

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    Curious, would you say that's on the more rare side or the more common from what you may have heard through the twins?

    I have a feeling that the Fencers tend to be more of the exception than the rule on a lot of things.:thumb:
     
  7. LineInTheSand

    LineInTheSand USCGA 2006

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    Ohhhh dating questions! My favorite.

    At the Coast Guard Academy we called it "dark siding." I'm not sure if they still use that term.

    I dated three ladies at CGA, one was a classmate and two were a year behind me. It was nice while it lasted, but it was less pleasant when the relationships ended. Now, that's not unique to a service academy. What is unique, at least at CGA, is you all live in one building, so when you break up, there's no getting away. Also, while CGA has a better male/female ratio, the ladies still have their picks! They don't like you? Eh, who cares, they have three other guys who are also options. For the guys, your dating population is 1/3 of that (that's changed with the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, I guess, but I'm not really sure how, so I'm just speaking from my experience).

    Here's the thing....and this is the truth of it, hormones are on a high. You have smart, physically fit folks, who are pretty much wearing the same thing (so fashion doesn't matter). If you have a relationship at an academy it can be legal (like my relationships) or illegal (like some of my classmates). If you engage in a relationship that is forbidden, maybe you'll get away with it, but you're more likely to be caught, and that could quickly end your cadet/midshipman career.

    Timing is an issue too. You're locked most of the week on a campus that doesn't allow you to "express yourself" physically or really even emotionally. Again, you can take your chances.... find a dark corner to steal a kiss or more, but in the event that you're caught.... it can quickly end your cadet/midshipman career.

    We all have the opportunities to break rules. I've broken rules. But if you do, be prepared for the consequences. I watched a mast (non judicial punishment) of a cadet under me, who was rocked by the command. After seeing that, I stopped playing with fire. A quick kiss, a sweet embrace.... they aren't worth your future career.

    Date at an academy, I don't recommend against it. But I do recommend remembering the true cost of your decisions, and I encourage you to really weigh the risk v. reward. Breaking frat/relationship rules at an academy; the risk is far greater than the reward.
     
  8. Sledge

    Sledge Member

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    I had this talk with my DS before he left. He's going to make his own decisions of course, but, as to the females at the academy, I did advise him to strongly consider the advice of General Ripper.
     
  9. LineInTheSand

    LineInTheSand USCGA 2006

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    What was that advice?
     
  10. Boozebin

    Boozebin Member

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    Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen... tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?

    General Jack D. Ripper: [somewhat embarassed] Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.

    Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.

    General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.

    Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.

    General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.

    Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.

    General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
     
  11. LineInTheSand

    LineInTheSand USCGA 2006

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    Ha, got it. I still need to watch that movie.
     
  12. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator

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    Jeez! One of the best movies ever! My kid even quotes it to me.
     
  13. USNAco2019hopeful

    USNAco2019hopeful Member

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    I believe Navy uses the term "dark siding" as well, could be wrong
     
  14. jessiereal24

    jessiereal24 New Member

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    Haha! That made me laugh even harder!
     

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