Hi, I'm a former Mid and I posted this earlier on another thread but I think it may help people on here as well. I hope it does.
I know for a lot of you reading this, it's application season and you're getting letters of rejection, acceptance or for NAPS/Foundation School. If you're accepted or sent to NAPS/Foundation School, congratulations. You've accomplished something few people get to do in their lives which is serve their country.
For those of who you who aren't accepted, it's ok.
At first you may think it's not ok or someone will tell you it's not. The people who stop being your friend or even loving you, being a significant other or even family, should love your irregardless of the circumstances or where you go to college. If they don't, then they really aren't worth it.
It's ok to be sad. Trust me. After you invest, hours, days, years and tons of money into training for a being hopefully accepted into a service academy and not having it happen, you have the right to cry, punch things, or do both (And yes you can eat ice cream/cake/fill in the blank guilty pleasure)
But you can't do this forever.
You have to get up and keep going. Just because this didn't workout, does not mean you're a bad person or not worth being here.
YOU ARE WORTH BEING HERE.
Do things that make you happy. Make a list. I'm serious. MAKE A LIST. You're good at sports, art, cooking, taking care of people,ect. Don't let someone else standards lead to you hating yourself. You don't have to do that.
You don't need to do that.
If you want to reapply to USNA or another SA, do it. You may get in the next time or or you may not. After 3 tries, I say stop. Usually the third time is the charm but there are other ways to be commissioned. You can go to ROTC and be a normal college student. You get to have a life and be a freshman, sophomore junior, and senior. Not do chow calls, not wake up at the crack of dawn unless you want to, not have 'mandatory fun', it's a good thing and trust me once you hit the Fleet you and USNA grads are on the same level.
Same with OCS. Full college experience like a normal person then 10 weeks of pain and chaos but you're in the zone when you hit the Fleet and you've been trained by enlisted Sailors and Marines that you will be leading. LEADING! That's a big deal. You are training to lead them into situations that may or may not be deadly. If you're going to lead them well, wouldn't you want to be trained by them and held to a standard of excellence.
Any commissioning program is great, the Academy is not the end all be all.
If you really want to serve, you'll make it happen.
Even enlisting is a great way to give back. You will be there doing the HARD WORK and learning how things work on both sides of the military coin if you want to transition from Enlisted to Officer.
Ok in closing for anyone who's reading this who's in the same boat as me or may be soon due to Academic/PT/Honor/Conduct Boards or was in the past and like me is having a tough time letting go, I just want to say: I AM SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOU.
I know people who are reading this may wonder why I'm saying that but see above for why I'm saying this: time, effort, and money was put into a dream that didn't come true due to one or various circumstances. For many ex-Mids/ex-Cadets, what comes next is a huge "?" and it's scary.
Very scary.
But know this, one day, things will get better. One day they will.
In the present, figure out what you're good at and use your skills to help you start over. Make a plan, write a schedule, ensure that you have some sort of financial stability, and place to go.
Make sure you have those things so you can have a smooth start as a civilian if leaving the Academy is rocky.
From there, work. There's no easier way to put this but you have to work on everything. Starting with yourself. Work to find employment, get back into school, or enlist. Waivers for enlisting take a while so in the meantime, work or go to school.
Keep yourself busy. Get away from social media. Give yourself a chance to breathe, to cry, to eat too many doughnuts and cry again. It's ok but don't do this forever.
Find yourself. Your own identity separate from your parents and your SA.
I think this is the hardest part because it takes the most time. You need to carve out an identity that isn't "Midshipman" or "Cadet". You need to be "You".
It get's better I promise. Just take one day, one meal, one minute as it comes.
If anyone needs more help or advice, I'll be happy to PM.