Essay Revision - Non-ROTC

[mfrey]

Hi,

I am in the process of applying for NROTC/AFROTC and I was wondering if anyone would be interested in reading my essays? (Both for ROTC and regular college admissions) So far I have written one Common app essay and one NROTC essay.

Let me know and I will PM you the essays.

Thank You!

 

[Anthony B.]

I don't know if I would be your best bet in editing or revising them for you but some tips that I have gotten along the way are

Always have two different people edit them because one might pick up on something the other missed
Have an English teacher read it over
Make the essay branch specific stating why you want to be a Naval officer or Air Force officer specifically not just why you want to be an officer in general
Mention some personal goal that you have that the armed forces can help you achieve
Brag a little bit

 

[rocatlin]

As stated:
English teacher for grammar and flow
Multiple people to read it -- and that know you
Willingness to serve and then target specifically why in on particular branch
Genuine confidence but not cockiness

Most importantly...make sure the person in your essay matches the person that shows up at your side of the interview table. No one on the forum can really give insight to who you are. Be genuine.

 

[txpotato]

Just a thought re asking an English teacher to read your essay... IF you do, please consider giving her/him a gift card when you're done. Please don't just assume that because she's an English teacher that she has the time or the inclination to read student essays in her spare time. You might consider contacting the English department at your local college or university and asking if there's a grad student who's interested in making some extra dough.

 

[Dckc88]

My suggestion is get the content first, then have an English teacher or someone in your family that is good at grammar do a final read. I don't know about Navy or AF, but for Army, the space was very small, only so many characters allowed, so getting the content concise and hammered out prior to worrying about structure is my suggestion, or you will be going back and forth.

Another idea, a couple of my daughter's schools did not have an essay prompt instead just wanted a short writing sample, she re-used her ROTC essay with a short explanation of what it was.

An ROO also suggested making sure to mention how she would benefit the Army, instead of just focusing on what she would get from it and why she wanted it, just an idea.