Gen. Dewey "Ox" Oxburger to Retire from Army

Discussion in 'Academy/Military News' started by EDelahanty, Apr 1, 2014.

  1. EDelahanty

    EDelahanty Member

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    - Stars and Bars News Service -

    General Dewey "Ox" Oxberger, the first soldier to rise from private to general since actor-flyer Jimmy Stewart, announced his impending retirement from the Army earlier today.

    Despite his remarkable rise over a 33 year career, Gen Oxberger was proudest of his role as a private in the so called Bratislava Matter. In that incident, classified for many years, Private Oxburger and a small group of enlisted men and women successfully exfiltrated the Army's most advanced weapon, the EMC-50 Urban Assault Vehicle, from a fortified Russian compound in then Communist Czechoslovakia, where it had been mistakenly driven. In addition to an unprecedented array of war-fighting technologies, the EMC-50 could sleep 8 and featured an indoor barbecue grill.

    Gen. Oxberger was celebrated among the lower ranks of the Army for two other early accomplishments. First, his enlistment was a miscue on his part: he believed the contract to enlist and undergo Basic Training was merely a revocable agreement to vacation at a rigorous weight loss spa. Shortly after, he was the first Ft. Knox soldier to defeat six women in a simultaneous mud wrestling match.

    Gen. Oxberger did not reveal post-retirement plans. It has been reported by industry sources that he may lend his distinctive name to a fast food franchising concept.
     
  2. Jcleppe

    Jcleppe Member

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    A fine example of good Aaaaaaarrrrmy Training!!!! Boom Shakalaka Boom Shakalaka!

    Happy April Fools Day
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2014
  3. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator

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    I got halfway through reading this, not recognizing the General's name, when I looked up to see who posted this drivel! I then said to myself, "Of course!". :shake:
    And a Happy April Fools Day to you too! :thumb:
     
  4. EDelahanty

    EDelahanty Member

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    So Dewey Oxberger was more real than tpg USMC (RET). How bout that?
     
  5. flieger83

    flieger83 Super Moderator Moderator

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    If you TRULY want to see a General that started as a private; here are two I was honored to have met as an AF cadet:

    http://www.af.mil/AboutUs/Biographi...Article/105806/general-thomas-c-richards.aspx

    http://www.af.mil/AboutUs/Biographi...Article/106833/general-james-v-hartinger.aspx

    As a cadet, these gent's were not God's but nearly revered. Gen'l Hartinger was a really nice gent and liked to come up to the academy to speak with the cadets. I remember one "lecture" he gave in a "lectinar" where at the end, he looked at all of us and asked: "Does anyone in here have tours to do this weekend?" A few folks raised their hands and he asked what "sins" they'd committed to earn the tours. They were "dumb" offenses: late to class, late to taps, etc...

    He looked at the Colonel from USAFA that was there as his "escort" and said something like "the Superintendent's a 3 Star, right?" "YESSIR" says the colonel. "Well, I doubt he'd mind too much if I granted amnesty to these poor souls, do you?"

    DONE.

    Big smile on his face...cadets stunned.

    It's NICE to be a 4-star!!!

    Which my classmate "Dave "Fingers" Goldfein will become on August 6th at 1500 hours!!!! And the new AF Vice Chief of Staff!!! And having been invited by the CofStaff, USAF, I CAN'T GO!!!!

    Steve
    USAFA ALO
    USAFA '83
     
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  6. cb7893

    cb7893 Member

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    What about Gen. John Shalikashvili?

    Granted he did jump from Pvt. to OTS, but he start as a Pvt. and progress to Chairman JCS.
     
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  7. flieger83

    flieger83 Super Moderator Moderator

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    TRUE!!!

    Steve
    USAFA ALO
    USAFA '83
     

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