girlfriends and sea year

Discussion in 'Merchant Marine Academy - USMMA' started by kp2014gf, Sep 6, 2010.

  1. kp2014gf

    kp2014gf Member

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    Hello! My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years in October and have survived the dreaded INDOC :wink: Our relationship has grown even stronger!

    However my question is about Sea Year, I have heard there is very little communication, which we are both aware of, but is there any special tips from any upperclassmen who have been there done that or anyone else about keeping relationships alive and kickin during sea year? :biggrin:

    Thank you! :smile:
     
  2. Fraidy Cat

    Fraidy Cat New Member

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    How much communication you have will depend on what ship you are on and where you are sent to. Be prepared for long gaps of time with no communication. On some boats, my son could make contact 2 - 3 times per month. On other ships, he went weeks and weeks with no contact. If your relationship cannot survive a few months of forced separation, then it is not meant to be anyway!
     
  3. LLPirate

    LLPirate Mother, Mother Ocean...

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    My BF took me to the airport the day I left for KP. We survived indoc and most of plebe year. I think each relationship is unique and the key to ours was we stayed friends. We talked, we dated when we could, we both allowed the other to grow up.

    Sea year was amazing and hard-work. Trust me you don’t have a ton of time to worry about dating although it seems we all did just that.

    I think you’ll find when you’re out on the ocean and the sea is calm and the stars are out he won’t be too far from your thoughts; write letters, call when you can, and hit up internet café’s when your port side. I would write daily and mail them when I could. I still have all the letters he sent. We’ve been married almost a decade and I love our love story =)

    It can work out but you’ll have to learn to grow together and let go when necessary.
     
  4. cookiecafemom

    cookiecafemom Member

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    Boyfriend sailing

    I think the secret is what kind of relationship you have. If you need to be together and you have little else in common it probably won't last. If you are best friends, communicate well, respect each other, and are content that he is the one, then there is a good chance for it to last.

    Here are my suggestions:
    Communicate as often as you can. Make the communication informative and something interesting to read. Be careful not to write anything that the whole ship cannot read. Also, be careful not to write anything negative or drastic. I wrote my boyfriend saying I was wondering if we should break up. He got that message then there was a 3 month blackout in the country he was in before he got the next message (written the next morning that said disregard last night's message!!)

    Lonesome? Of course, but make use of the time he is away. Continue on with education, hobbies, learning skills and activities. When he comes home he will have lots of interesting things to share. What will you be able to tell him? Continue to live a full happy life.

    Trust is an important issue especially at sea. Know who he is, what his core values are and can you trust him implicitedly? If not then sea will be the clincher to finishing off the relationship.

    Sacrifice. Is he worth not having some of the social activities your friends are involved in? If you miss the social life too much then perhaps it's not time to tie yourself down to just one fellow. Only you will know if he is worth that cost.

    I give these suggestions from experience. I dated my boyfriend while he was a midshipmen at KP. We married after graduation. He sailed 12 years before coming ashore. I logged thousands and thousands of hours on land while he traveled the world. We have been married almost 44 years, and we are best friends, soul mates and lovers. We couldn't have a better marriage, and I wish the same to you someday.
     
  5. kp2014gf

    kp2014gf Member

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    thank you

    Thank you everyone for your input.

    Cookiecafemom I would like to personally thank you for your advice. I originally wrote this thread a little while ago when sea year first came up in our conversations, just trying to prepare myself now before he leaves in June. And when I read what you wrote it really encouraged me. So thank you! We have been together just over 2 years now and he really is my best friend, has been since before we began our relationship. So I am going keep in mind everything you have said and Lord willing we will have a story like yours and your husband someday! Congrats on 44 years! :smile:
     
  6. cmakin

    cmakin Member

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    This thread wasn't what I thought it would be. . . .
     
  7. jump4joy

    jump4joy Member

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    What were you expecting?
     
  8. kp2001

    kp2001 USMMA Alumnus

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    I believe they were going down the lines of "a girl in every port" :wink:
     
  9. LineInTheSand

    LineInTheSand USCGA 2006

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    Dating hurts GPAs....or atleast it did for me... :wink:
     
  10. allenmark

    allenmark Banned

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    SPAM deleted
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 7, 2011

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