Going to INDOC without parents

Discussion in 'Merchant Marine Academy - USMMA' started by whitege, May 23, 2010.

  1. whitege

    whitege Member

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    DD is planning to get herself to MMA from midwest without paremts. Has anyone else done this? Any suggestions on where to stay and transportation from hotel to MMA? She says she would rather say goodbyes here and go herself. Are we being foolish parents to let her do this?
     
  2. OldAirForce

    OldAirForce Member

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    Our field rep (Illinois) said to send him by himself and save your money for Parent's Weekend. We did that and he has not suffered any long term trauma. Mom suffered a little guilt but he did fine. We booked a night at the Andrew in Great Neck and he hooked up with some other kids. He wore a USMMA polo on the flight thinking someone else might notice. It worked.
     
  3. dblomomkp2013

    dblomomkp2013 Member

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    whitege, I sent you a PM.
     
  4. proudmomcolorado

    proudmomcolorado Member

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    going solo to indoc

    Let them go, let them go. DS is now a 4/c so this subject is still rather fresh in our minds. We let our DS go with another plebe candidate from Colorado when they began indoc last year. The MMA will arrange all the traveling for you and they do get them there the day before.

    The best place to start this process is to get ahold of your state's MMA parents association and find you DD a traveling buddy. Our son found another willing soul, they met up at a hotel in New York, and then the next morning shared a car service to the front gate. I still remember them deciding what is the ideal time to arrive for indoc, you don't want to be the very first and definitely not the last ones there.

    There was an issue with the hotel as he did not have a credit card and was at the time barely 18. The hotel needed someone to guarantee the hotel and there were some phone calls back and forth from the hotel, the other boys father, and the MMA, but they were still able to get a wonderful meal that night, a good nights sleep and reported on time.

    Let them (see I am assuming she has a buddy) fly in, take a car service (about 40) to Great Neck, and stay at the Inn at Great Neck (about 230) or the Andrew Hotel (about 180). In the morning have them walk to the LIRR Station and catch a taxi for about 8 bucks to the MMA front gate.

    Yes we were nervous, but DS definitely wanted to do this huge part of his new life without hovering, emotional, crazed parents dropping their first child off to college. Yes, save the money/airfare/transportation costs for your parents weekend. Again I would recommend one of the above hotels, you will save a fortune in transportation costs. That is a "do not miss weekend".

    (Now all of this would have been out the window if we lived near New York and would be driving our DS to indoc. But Colorado is a ways away.)

    If you can let her go, do. It will be extremely hard for you and you will be hovering the phone the whole time she is in New York before reporting, but she is telling you something. Do remind her that you absolutely need a final phone call from her before she walks into the gates. We wish your DD the absolute best as she begins her journey at the USMMA. :smile:
     
  5. kpmom2013

    kpmom2013 Member

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    Let Them Go Alone

    We faced the same decision last July and sent our 17-year-old son off to INDOC on his own all the way from Washington State. He was very glad we did, and so were we. As has been said, any young man or woman who has what it takes to be offered admission to King's Point is smart enough to get there on their own.

    The deciding factor for me was when my husband pointed out that this day was about our son, not about us. If I had gone, I know my DS would have had to worry about my reaction to his leaving home and to saying goodbye there. When he went alone, all those things were already done. There was no additional emotional stuff on his mind, like having to say just the right thing to his parents at just the right moment when saying goodbye. He could just march right in with a singular purpose in mind.

    We did have some difficulty in the logistics because the local hotels would not let a 17-year-old stay in a room without an adult. We finally were assisted by the admissions staff to set up the perfect arrangement. He was picked up at the airport by the parents of a recent KP graduate who live near the academy. They fed him dinner, put him up at their lovely home overnight, fed him breakfast, and drove him to the USMMA gate the morning of INDOC.

    We were pretty overwhelmed by their hospitality at the time. But we have since become a part of the King's Point family, and learned that these courtesies are commonplace among parents, alumni, and others. We have since helped other aspiring King's Pointers in small ways anytime we can.

    Your DD will be in good hands. Rest assured that while she will be facing challenges that she cannot even imagine right now, she (and you) will also have an incomparable, built-in support system. Welcome to the King's Point family, and start making plans for Parents' Weekend!
     
  6. St. Crispian

    St. Crispian New Member

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    Whitege, your daughter is wise in her choice. Let her go and save your money for a good Parent's Weekend. Oh yeah, it'll be hard to put her on the plane by herself but it is absolutely the right thing to do. That was our favorite mids choice. Heck he had never even seen Kings Point until he showed up at INDOC. One other tip, better bring your sunglasses to the airport. I don't know what it is about the air in airports, but it causes the worst eye irritations. You wouldn't want your favorite Plebe-Candidate to confuse that look in your eye with sentiment.;)
     
  7. zonker

    zonker Member

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    Yes. The 'eye irritations'. Ahem.
    Also referred to as 'pollen' in these threads. ;)

    Parents and Mids will open their hearts and arms, supporting one another. It is amazing how quickly and genuinely a lone candidate is adopted into things.
    Like NO OTHER PLACE I've every seen!
     
  8. USNA1982BGO

    USNA1982BGO Retired Staff Member

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    Back in the stone age it seemed like the majority of us reported in sans parents. There were a lot less tears on the reporting in side :thumb:
     
  9. 2013Parent

    2013Parent Member

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    I saw a few candidates in this situation last year. I could not help but think, that somehow, those candidates (without parents) had a slight headstart and leg up on the others.
     
  10. KP13Mom

    KP13Mom Member

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    Whitege~ Is your DD planning to be involved with a sport or activity? Often there are picnics or gatherings the evening before Indoc to meet team members. Although we drove our DS to KP, he met up with the swim coach and incoming team members at the statute at 7:30 a.m. the morning of Indoc and they all went into O'Hara Hall together. We didn't have to stand around waiting to say goodbye and the last I saw of him in line before we went off to explore the campus, he was laughing and enjoying being with new friends.
     
  11. Madrid19

    Madrid19 Member

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    I know the sports teams are having one as I will be going to the soccer. These BBQ's the day before have been said to help the incoming plebes.
     
  12. g-man

    g-man Member

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    I wouldn't have missed dropping my son off for anything in the world. (We did leave his crying mother and siblings at home, which was a good decision.) He and I spent the day before INDOC touring NYC, meeting the nicest New Yorkers in the world, who literally led us through train stations and to tour sites, we met and became friends with other USMMA families and I was able to pray with him before he entered the USMMA gate, which was more for me than him. When I dropped him off I gave him a big hug, told him I new he would do well and let him go. He went strolling in one end of the building and twenty minutes later he came marching out the other end. It was very impressive, since he had never marched in his life. I have no experience with the military or a service academy so it was all a great learning experience. The other big plus was meeting some of the local USMMA association families. I want to say I was able to meet a lot of great people associated with the academy, but that just doesn't do them justice. They are an exceptional group of people. I have a lot of other fun little stories I won't bore you with, but we had a great couple of days together, which made a very positive start to USMMA.
     
  13. mmadad14

    mmadad14 New Member

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    Excellent story g-man, I for one will be walking in your footsteps too this year and I plan to do what you did. I can't help to think that it will be somthing he and you will remember for a very long time. No disrespect to the solos...... but we are a very tight family and we and our P/C all want the gang on hand for this one.
     
  14. stingre

    stingre Member

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    solo

    sent a private email.

    stingre
     
  15. kpmom2011

    kpmom2011 Member

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    Agreed with g-man. I don't know of any other school where this would even be questioned. At the large Universities parents actually help their kids move in their dorms.

    I've been at every Indoc for the past 3 years and have observed the "solo" kids. Yes they are adults, yes they are going off on their own, but let me tell you after many private conversations with these solo kids they wanted a parent or guardian there to say good bye. Do what you think is best for your child, but, I'll be there to give them hugs if needed. :biggrin:
     
  16. trailsendmt

    trailsendmt New Member

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    We could not afford to deliver our son to Indoc. In the end it worked out well for our DS. I was starting to tear up at airport and looked to husband for strenght only to see tears running down his checks at which point I lost it, when DD saw parents she in turn also lost it. By the time he made it to his first layover we were about 1/3 of the way home and had pulled ourselves together. He told us that our tears made him feel like he was leaving forever or had died. We had nice chat when he got to NY and then again in the morning just before he reported. So our last conversation upbeat and pleasant. Our son had spent the two previous summers at a remote ranch in the Rocky Mtns. fencing with a couple of friends so he had no problem going it alone. I would say it really depends on the kid and your finances.
     
  17. jasperdog

    jasperdog Member

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    We live 5 hours away and drove our DS to report in on his first day. All that said, I could have said it better than trasendmt
    I'm also assuming the "fencing" of which is being spoken is putting fences across remote ranchlands vice that done with an epee and an interesting sport to watch during the summer olympics....
     
  18. trailsendmt

    trailsendmt New Member

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    Jasperdog is correct. Fencing as in building fence - no epee, just a post pounder, come-a-long and a good pair of leather gloves. Paid by the mile.
     
  19. Mindy G

    Mindy G Member

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    We stayed at the Great Neck Inn and befriended a soon to be plebe he was fine. I assure you there will be many a parent ready to "adopt" and look after your child. Our drop off was very fast that morning and we spent the rest of the day "stalking" to try to find a quick glimpse of our DS. All will be fine, I assure you. Get ready to sped countless hours looking for photos.
     
  20. cookiecafemom

    cookiecafemom Member

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    I sent you a PM also.

    Please have your daughter read my private PM.
     

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