I think you guys are being too harsh. I have a different opinion on all this:
1. Parents have every right to be active in their children's lives. In fact, at least in my view, that is commendable parental behavior. The real tragedy is that many parents are NOT active in their children's lives. Not all families have the same relationships as those who think it is best to ship the kids off to boarding school and let the kids fend for themselves. On the other extreme, some parents believe that it is best to home-school their children. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that either. Different strokes for different folks.
I happen to be in the camp where I maintain a close relationship with my children and have all of my kids parked in public school. I am not ashamed of that and never will be (in fact, at times I border on neglectful, especially when a trial or big corporate transaction looms and I really don't have the bandwidth for them). I also believe that it would be inappropriate for me to presume to know what is best for someone else's child.
2. I'm not sure why folks think being "independent" is a good thing. In the military, being "independent" is actually a bad thing, at least that was my experience (I may have had a different experience than others). Every year, many so-called "independent" 2LTs fall on their face because they think they are "independent" and thus do not listen to their senior NCO's, especially their platoon sergeant. Many believe that asking questions or relying on others is a sign of weakness (or perhaps a parent taught them that along the way). Sadly, those who do not rely on others often end up getting their soldiers lost in the woods, or worse, killed. Relying on your fellow comrade in arms is truly the essence of the military, and it is not an easy thing to do (if the leader thinks being "independent" is the best thing, how can she or he teach their soldiers that they need to place blind faith reliance on their fire-team buddies to cover their own assigned fields of fire?). The truth is that most 2LTs don't have a clue about what it really means to lead a platoon, even those who earned the distinction of Distinguished Military Graduate. But things do work out eventually. It always does. And just when the 2LT really learns his or her job, it's then time for them to be promoted to 1LT and off to bigger and better jobs that they, initially, don't have a clue in the world on how to handle. Maybe I was in a different Army than everyone else.
There is a difference between being "independent" and being "self-sufficient", though. I happen to think everyone around here will do just fine and the sky will not fall. Except in the case of an orphan or abandoned child, I don't think there is a single parent on the Earth who hasn't helped their children (although I have encountered folks along the way who professed that they didn't, when what they really did was be more active at an earlier stage in the child's life than other so-called "helicopter" parents might have been). The fact that a parent does laundry for a college student is absolutely NO DIFFERENT than a Service Academy doing laundry for a cadet. I do not think that the service academies are producing incompetent leaders simply because they do laundry for the cadets. How is it any different when a parent takes on that task for them? It is simply teaching the kids how to delegate. When these kids have to assume the "driver's seat" in goverment and business later on, they will do just fine.
3. LITS, I don't think there is anything wrong with a parent asking a lot of questions and learning a wealth of information from this website or elsewhere and then "paying it forward" and helping others. In my short time on this website, I have rarely seen a parent comment on something he or she did not know something about (sure, folks have different opinions about things, but that does NOT mean they are ignorant or otherwise unqualified to state their opinion -- no one should be condemned for their opinion just because it is different). Also, a parent learns a lot from having a kid who is a cadet at a Service Academy, even though the parent may not have graduated from the SA themselves.
I'm not sure how I will feel about contributing to SAF five years from now, but I suspect that I might feel a bit guilty about soaking this site for information and not sharing what I have learned with others down the road.
From my own experience as a parent learning about things here on SAF, I just know that I benefited GREATLY this past summer from the many posts from parents who have been willing to take time out of their busy schedules to lend advice on what New Cadets should bring for, say, R-Day at West Point (based on what they thought was helpful in the years when their own DD/DS attended R-Day). These generous parents are to be commended, not condemned.
Some folks give back to society by serving as scout masters, little league coaches, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, volunteers at retirement homes, etc. There is positively nothing wrong with helping others. From my own experience, I attended Norwich University and know a LOT about that school. But I suspect strongly that there are aspects about Norwich that only a parent who has a child currently attending that school will know. For example, parents with current cadets likely know more than either me or the current PMS of Norwich about things that affect many matriculating cadets, including things like financial aid, academics, etc. And if someone generates a post containing incorrect information, others will be sure to correct the record. And we move on. So what's the harm?
It's always easy to be negative and point fingers and criticize others for volunteering their time. It is also easy to chuckle when someone asks a simple question, which likely wasn't all that "simple" just a few short years ago. I just know that I am one grateful parent who is thankful for the many posts that I have found here on SAF. I suspect that I am not alone.
In short, my personal, humble opinion is that there's nothing wrong with parents asking lots of questions and sharing what they know with others. In my experience, limited as it is, I have found that those who ask the most questions end up learning more than the others and, eventually, are the ones who provide the soundest advice. But that's just my opinion.
I know, only the min, how cruel, right?
Yep! You train them up in the way they should go, give them a pat on the back and say, "You can do it! I believe in you. Go get 'em!" and send them out to take on the world.
) He does his own now and even irons his uniforms.