Help with a parental dilemma.

Okay, so keeping it lighthearted, we can work on our useful list of suggestions for appointees - 1. No duck, duck, goose. 2. No cleaning your bedroom! Any others? :shake: My previous ER experience before that one was one kid chasing his brother around the house, stepped on his own sock thereby tripping himself and slammed into a corner of the wall resulting in staples in the back of his head. Hm, these organized sports are sounding safer by the minute!
 
marciemi said:
Okay, so keeping it lighthearted, we can work on our useful list of suggestions for appointees - 1. No duck, duck, goose. 2. No cleaning your bedroom! Any others? :shake: My previous ER experience before that one was one kid chasing his brother around the house, stepped on his own sock thereby tripping himself and slammed into a corner of the wall resulting in staples in the back of his head. Hm, these organized sports are sounding safer by the minute!
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Let's not forget the ever-so-dangerous "opening the freezer". My friend's son opened the freezer and out fell a frozen pork roast which landed on his foot. He ended up sustaining a fracture to his foot.:rolleyes:
 
DevilDog said:
I don't think this is a place to make those type of alegations.
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Okay, then it is a fact and one which i would definitely want to consider if I was to make such a decision.

If you want more information or want to respond to this, feel free to PM me.
 
Be the parent.

We have a son who played football in high school and freshman year college. Turns out he injured his shoulder senior year and hid it from us. He was in pain for two years before we understood this. I don't believe his coaches and trainers didn't pick up on this. Sophomore year of college he wasn't sleeping with the constant pain and needed complicated surgery/rehab. The first month back to college post-op we said no more football for the year and he decided to quit the team. He says it was weird for a while, because his whole social focus had been the football team for so long, but two months later his grades had soared, he stopped worrying about running into the football coaches (who wanted him back) and he was learning club rugby. Sometimes our kids get into ruts and the jv to varsity and then college team can be one long rut they feel stuck in. Coaches are not always our kid's friends and as parents we have to help our kids to sort out complicated matters. Good luck.
 
piper said:
and he was learning club rugby.
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And theres a safe sport--"Give Blood, Play Rugby" :yllol:
(FWIW, dahubs was a rugby player at USAFA)

Devildog, Good luck with your delima, I think you're making the right decision by talking to him, giving him the facts, but in the end letting him make his own decision. But, since he does have an injury, that the doctor has advised him to rest, I would put HEAVY emphasis on that fact when talking to him. I disagree with JAM, in that its not quitting the team, if he's injured and has been advised to let it heal. My son had hoped to play football for USAFA or USNA, but a season ending injury just before the first scrimmage put an end to that. Because of that injury, he wasn't sure if he should play baseball this spring, or just play it safe until he reports to USNA on July 1. Even though baseball is a relatively "safe" sport, you'd be surprised at the injuries we've seen over the years. He decided to keep playing because its part of who he is.
 
falconchic88 said:
And theres a safe sport--"Give Blood, Play Rugby" :yllol:
(FWIW, dahubs was a rugby player at USAFA)

Devildog, Good luck with your delima, I think you're making the right decision by talking to him, giving him the facts, but in the end letting him make his own decision. But, since he does have an injury, that the doctor has advised him to rest, I would put HEAVY emphasis on that fact when talking to him. I disagree with JAM, in that its not quitting the team, if he's injured and has been advised to let it heal. My son had hoped to play football for USAFA or USNA, but a season ending injury just before the first scrimmage put an end to that. Because of that injury, he wasn't sure if he should play baseball this spring, or just play it safe until he reports to USNA on July 1. Even though baseball is a relatively "safe" sport, you'd be surprised at the injuries we've seen over the years. He decided to keep playing because its part of who he is.
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Thanks Falconchic88. I did not agree with JAM assessment either on a couple of levels. First he has been told to rest and second, It is not about the team anymore it is for individual honors. He is not planning to wrestle in college and he has done everything for his team over the years. I do appreciate her taking the time to give advice. Maybe our sons will be reporting together. He still can't decide.
 
Devildog, its a tough decision., but at least you know he can't go wrong either way. My son thought all along he wanted USAFA (since both his parents are grads) it was all he knew. Then he went to NASS, and talked alot with our next door nieghbor who is a USNA grad and became really torn. Then USNA sent him an appointment letter in October. He received a MOC nom to USAFA, and was going to wait thru March to see if he received a USAFA appointment. But he came to us a few weeks ago and said he had decided to forge his own path and go to USNA, and signed and sent in his acceptance letter. Now I have to repaint one of my AFA cornhole boards with the Navy logo and two USAFA grads are going to have to get used to saying "GO NAVY?"
 
falconchic88 said:
Devildog, its a tough decision., but at least you know he can't go wrong either way. My son thought all along he wanted USAFA (since both his parents are grads) it was all he knew. Then he went to NASS, and talked alot with our next door nieghbor who is a USNA grad and became really torn. Then USNA sent him an appointment letter in October. He received a MOC nom to USAFA, and was going to wait thru March to see if he received a USAFA appointment. But he came to us a few weeks ago and said he had decided to forge his own path and go to USNA, and signed and sent in his acceptance letter. Now I have to repaint one of my AFA cornhole boards with the Navy logo and two USAFA grads are going to have to get used to saying "GO NAVY?"
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I served in the Marine Corps, I love the Marine Corps, but I am pulling for USAFA. I just think it would be a great fit for him. Either way it is a great opportunity. Congrats to your son. He did something my son can't seem to do relating to this choice. Your son made up his mind. Everyday people we know ask me if he has made his choice yet, everyday I say no. Once in a while I'll ask him which way he is leaning and he tells me that he does not know. He only has 9 days left to make up his mind.
 
DevilDog said:
He only has 9 days left to make up his mind.
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Is this due to being a recruited athlete? As far as we knew, our son had until May 1 to make a decision, but started getting some pressure to decide one way or another a couple weeks ago (after CVW) so that others could have the appointments promptly. He accepted his AF appointment promptly, but held off until that showed as accepted online and showed his file had gone before Dodmerb again so that he knew things were set before declining the Navy appointment.
 
marciemi said:
Is this due to being a recruited athlete? As far as we knew, our son had until May 1 to make a decision, but started getting some pressure to decide one way or another a couple weeks ago (after CVW) so that others could have the appointments promptly. He accepted his AF appointment promptly, but held off until that showed as accepted online and showed his file had gone before Dodmerb again so that he knew things were set before declining the Navy appointment.
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USNA is giving him until March 1 for an answer. At that point he will have to make a decision.
 
DevilDog said:
USNA is giving him until March 1 for an answer. At that point he will have to make a decision.
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A current USAFA parent shared this bit of wisdom with me that likely applies to all of our kids. These are amazing kids. They all have good heads on their shoulders and whatever they decide, they will be ok. Took me a minute to step back and realize that my son is soon to be an adult, one well prepared for the world ahead, and he really will be ok. I know it's so easy to slip into what ifs, but really, even if these kids went to community college and worked their way through the education system like most of us did, they will be ok. They will have good lives and a strong foundation to succeed on whatever path they take.

Btw, by nature I'm the type to pull out the bubble wrap, but just signed my appointee up for competitive summer water polo that takes him straight up to I-day. He wants to play, truly loves the sport, and I wouldn't think of taking his last little bit of playing time with his friends away from him. If he gets hurt, he will be ok :smile:, will attend one of his back-ups and apply to USAFA next year.

Of course, I'll be doing more than my fair share of praying he doesn't get hurt <gg> What's a few more grey hairs? :wink:
 
Devil Dog - allow me to be clear -
If your son has been medically advised not to compete then he should not. If a physician has not cleared him to participate then he needs to follow medical advice.
I can't imagine a school allowing an athlete to compete against medical advice.
I know some physicians will hedge and hesitate to write a kid out, so maybe you need to have a conversation with the physician concerning the risks of continuing with the understanding that your son needs to be in excellent physical condition by the end of June.
 
DevilDog said:
USNA is giving him until March 1 for an answer. At that point he will have to make a decision.
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WOW, that surprises me, son's USNA offer of appointment had May 1 as deadline to accept as well. March 1 seems harsh since the bulk of the acceptances don't go out until mid March. Then again, he wasn't a recruited athlete, so that may be the difference. Good luck, he'll come around and surprise you with a confident decision!
 
Look at the forms again... Mar and May could be easily confused. It's a mistake *I* would make.
 
A Navy coach recruiting my son told him he had to make an early decission. Son talked it over with us and decided he's rather lose the Navy spot than give up going with his dream. Navy Coach replied saying that he'd never get a naval appointment if he didn't agree to accept it if it was offered and have the coach take his application before the admissions board. Son remained firm that he wanted to wait on USAFA. Weeks later the naval appoinment came in the mail-he'd been accpeted on him own merits. The wait continued for one last DoDMERB waiver for USAFA, it happened and he's there now.
 
A Navy coach recruiting my son told him he had to make an early decission.
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IMO - this is unfair and not truth-in-recruiting.

At a civilian school, if a recruited athlete is accepted, signs and agrees to play; if they quit they lose their scholarship. Even so, once you are accepted then they don't take away your acceptance.

At the Service Academies - if a recruited athlete is offered an appointment they have NO obligation to play or even to show up for R-Day. They can accept their appointment, show up for I/R-day and quit the team. Candidates who agree to the coach's "offer" and offered an appointment - then received a better offer or simply changed his mind about playing; he would still have his appointment.
"Decisions" to a coach are NOT binding in anyway.
 
For what it's worth... My son was a returning 2x champ with an undefeated season in wrestling this year when he sustained an injury the week before state. After two different doctors and specialists looked at his condition, he was advised to avoid further damage or surgery to let it heal. My son had to really think hard about his decision and what the overall consequences would be. In the end, he decided that he did not want to risk losing his appointment. He said that he was trying to look at the big picture. I think it was just as hard on us as parents to watch him have to make this huge of a choice. We had worried at the very beginning of the process about even getting medically qualified since he had so many previous wrestling injuries. He went and supported his team by cheering them on; as well as the opponents in his weight class but it was very emotional for all of us. Will we play the "what if" game? Sure.... but if he had gotten significantly injured more, we would be asking the same question. Now that time has passed, he has healed. He has started his off season practices to get ready for upcoming off season tournaments. He just needed to have sufficient time to heal to avoid possible surgery. He loves the sport and can't wait to be back on the mat. Could he still get hurt? ...YUP! It's WRESTLING:smile: By allowing him to make the choice, and weigh the pros and cons, he is fine with his decision. It is just one of those hard "growing up, life's lessons", that all of our children will encounter. So , having gone through the exact same type of scenario, my advice to DevilDog would be definitely let him make the final choice and control his future. It doesn't make it easier, but in the end regardless of coaching pressure, peer pressure, etc, no one but your child has to live with the final decision. Good luck in whatever his choice may be!
 
He did wrestle in the state tournament and did well considering he was not 100%. I am glad he did it and came thru without further injury. Now it is on to lax season and he is thrilled. I think he was glad wrestling season came to an end.
 
nothing like the excitement of HS wrestling, both team and individuals. HS is hard work with practice and maintaining weight. Off to NCAA wrestling finals in Omaha, NE later this week. No family wrestling.....just a fan of NCAA finals.
 
My two cents is that your son should shut it down sports-wise until R or I-day. I've received two appointments and did the same. Still workout incredibly hard, we've got Beast coming up, afterall ;). But if he tears a tendon or ligament tomorrow that gets him DQ'd medically, will he look back 20 years from now and think it was the right decision?
 
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