Hilarious stuff found on shirts (and bumper stickers)

[fencersmother]

I just saw this on a t-shirt:

I'm a pilot. To save time, just assume I'm never wrong.

Same morning:

Keep your city clean. Eat a pigeon.

 

[AROTC-dad]

This is an old bumper sticker I have seen and liked:

"Driver carries no cash.....kid plays hockey"

Fencer, I'm sure you could substitute "Fences" for plays hockey, right?

 

[fencersmother]

OH MY GOSH!!! Given the choice between that $400 blue steel blade that will break five minutes after it's unsheathed, and paying the mortgage? Well, there's a t-shirt/bumper sticker in there somewhere.

 

[nofodad]

Be alert...the world needs more lerts.

 

[raimius]

 

[AROTC-dad]

 

[Capt MJ]

I have seen this one a few times, finally found the image online. Key words: "zombie stick family."

And look at the "insured by mafia" on license plate holder...

 

[Capt MJ]

 

[Capt MJ]

I usually have no problem uploading. Doesn't look right on iPhone. Once more: