Hi everyone I was just wondering if I am on the right track with this essay. I only have 200 words to answer why I am seeking a nomination, why I feel I am qualified and why I am seeking to be commisioned. This is just a rough draft for now ant I have to cut out 27 words but just wanted to see what people thought so far.
I was eight when I first visited the Naval Academy and it mesmerizes me as much today as it did on that first tour. I've always been a history buff, so learning of the history of the Academy, and seeing the discipline and unity of the Midshipmen during noon formation has resonated with me since that day. As I've grown older I have shed my old shy shell and have really grown as a person. I went from avoiding attention, silently sitting the background to putting myself front and center, determined to lead. Three years ago, I could never see myself coordinating a Pan Mass Challenge Kids Ride. The stress of having to organize everything, coordinate with so many different people and being timely with all my assignments would have been overwhelming. But now I thrive in the challenge, I am determined to rise to the occasion and bring my peers with me. It has always been my dream to serve in our nation's armed forces and give back to the country that has allowed me and my family such freedom and opportunity. I feel I could really contribute to our country’s great military tradition with my new found leadership and the Naval Academy is the only place that would allow me to do that. I don’t want to accept anything less.
I was eight when I first visited the Naval Academy and it mesmerizes me as much today as it did on that first tour. I've always been a history buff, so learning of the history of the Academy, and seeing the discipline and unity of the Midshipmen during noon formation has resonated with me since that day. As I've grown older I have shed my old shy shell and have really grown as a person. I went from avoiding attention, silently sitting the background to putting myself front and center, determined to lead. Three years ago, I could never see myself coordinating a Pan Mass Challenge Kids Ride. The stress of having to organize everything, coordinate with so many different people and being timely with all my assignments would have been overwhelming. But now I thrive in the challenge, I am determined to rise to the occasion and bring my peers with me. It has always been my dream to serve in our nation's armed forces and give back to the country that has allowed me and my family such freedom and opportunity. I feel I could really contribute to our country’s great military tradition with my new found leadership and the Naval Academy is the only place that would allow me to do that. I don’t want to accept anything less.
Last edited: