Humor in Uniform

Discussion in 'Academy/Military News' started by Capt MJ, Feb 8, 2011.

  1. Capt MJ

    Capt MJ Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2008
    Messages:
    2,358
    Likes Received:
    1,820
    From today's (2/7) Washington Post, in the Reliable Source section:

    "Whoops! Top Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett mistook a four-star general for a waiter and ordered a glass of wine from him at the annual Alfalfa Club dinner last week. CNN on Sunday ID'd the officer as Army Gen. Peter Chiarelli after a Daily Caller story described the incident without naming him; the general told CNN no hard feelings, it coulda happened to anyone: "She was sitting, I was standing and walking behind her and all she saw were the two stripes on my pants which were almost identical to the waiter's pants." Oh, and he did bring her that glass of wine. " :shake::shake:

    Clearly, she didn't look up, as I imagine the 4-star would have had a chestful of war candy. Sounds like he handled it with class.

    I expect any of us who have worn a uniform have some stories to tell. I was in Navy Service Dress Blue at Reagan National Airport, and no, it wasn't the old airline pilot confusion, but someone who was sure I was with Customs and wanted to yell at me about something Customs had done. I had to find an Airport Security Officer to get her away from me.
     
  2. bruno

    bruno Retired Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2008
    Messages:
    3,001
    Likes Received:
    301
    Chiarelli is the Vice Chief of Staff of the Army- I understand that he is a very self deprecating guy with a lot of personality. Good for him for laughing it off.
     
  3. tonk002

    tonk002 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2010
    Messages:
    177
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thats pretty funny. Valeri Jarrett is an alumna of my high school.
     
  4. raimius

    raimius USAFA Alumnus

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2006
    Messages:
    2,239
    Likes Received:
    272
    Haha, wow!

    I was mistaken for aircrew at Denver Int'l while wearing service dress.
     
  5. lotrjedi13

    lotrjedi13 _

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2008
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    2
    I flew out of Newark for Thanksgiving leave, and found myself in the unfortunate position of wearing Dress Grey instead of civvies. I was approached by three people - two of whom thought I was airport staff of some sort and a kind old lady who thought I was a bellhop.
     
  6. scoutpilot

    scoutpilot Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2010
    Messages:
    4,275
    Likes Received:
    606
    I was once in Class B ASUs (white shirt, blue pants) and was mistaken for a Marine. Fortunately I started speaking in full sentences and polysyllabic words, so the mistake was short-lived.

    I was once mistaken for an Air Force officer, but it became apparent that I'd been someplace besides training and the O Club, so no worries there either.





    I keed, I keed...
     
  7. usnajosh

    usnajosh Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2009
    Messages:
    86
    Likes Received:
    0
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ LOL :yllol:
     
  8. Bullet

    Bullet Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2008
    Messages:
    994
    Likes Received:
    99
    Scout, what the heck does "polysyllabic" mean? :biggrin:
     
  9. patentesq

    patentesq Parent

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    1,587
    Likes Received:
    0
    They tried to explain the definition of that word to us at the Infantry Officer Basic Course in Ft. Benning, GA. a few years back. No one seemed to get it, and we all sorta looked at each other. So the Captains got together and decided to switch to another topic -- Claymore anti-personnel mines.
     
  10. bruno

    bruno Retired Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2008
    Messages:
    3,001
    Likes Received:
    301
    You actually listened enough in IOBC to hear them give a definition of a word? I'm sure that in IOBC I heard something other than the buzzer in "Bedroom 4" ( Infantry Hall) but I certainly didn't retain it. My IOBC memories seem to center mostly around the "I-Bar", "the Inferno Club" and one of my classmates getting bit by a big old rattler while we were down range - the snake turned out to be not a good choice for adding to his overhead cover in the middle of the night. If you ever really want to feel like your life is ending quickly- try and rely on a bunch of brand new Infantry 2LTs to administer first aid while the medevac is inbound.:eek: He did live though and somebody did kill the snake though so all's well that ends well.
    Somehow I suspect that they are more focused at Ft Benning now than they were then- (I sure hope so!)
     
  11. patentesq

    patentesq Parent

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    1,587
    Likes Received:
    0
    Did you remember to "SAVE THE HEAD"?

    (To those who haven't been to IOBC, there's a special class on dealing with snakes. The instructors explain that it is important to save the head of the snake after it is killed, so the emergency room can get a positive ID on the type of anti-venom to use. During instruction, the LTs have to repeat "SAVE THE HEAD", the Army way of helping Infantry officers learn complicated things.).
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2011
  12. flieger83

    flieger83 Super Moderator Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2008
    Messages:
    2,852
    Likes Received:
    343
    Geez....you mean I had learned IOBC stuff as a small kid in Florida after moving back from the UK?

    I was taught: "If a snake bites you, KILL IT, and bring it to the hospital..."

    So when I lost an argument with a cottonmouth...I sliced him in half, tossed both parts in the boat, and went to the local US Coast Guard station!

    Yep...gotta love them Coasties..."SON...you can NOT tie off here!!!"

    "...yeah? Well...I got bit by a cottonmouth!"

    "Tie off right there, I'll get a medic!"

    Nice guys them coasties! :biggrin:
    (And I really do mean that! They took VERY good care of me!) :thumb:

    Steve
    USAFA ALO
    USAFA '83
     
  13. patentesq

    patentesq Parent

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    1,587
    Likes Received:
    0
    I totally deserved that, flieger83! After all, I jabbed you the other day about your soccer team. "What comes around, goes around." :thumb:

    However, we did learn many, many things at IOBC that you would NEVER learn as a small kid in Florida, such as the most-effective direction in which to aim a Claymore anti-personnel mine!


    [​IMG]
     
  14. flieger83

    flieger83 Super Moderator Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2008
    Messages:
    2,852
    Likes Received:
    343
    My Physics 411 instructor at USAFA was a "Snake Eater" (for those not aware, that's one of them super macho type green beenie wearers in the Army of the USA)...

    One day he walked into class and instead of teaching us about light/electricity/magnetism...

    He brought out toys:

    a. Claymore (in the dark, put it on your chest: if it rocks it's pointing at YOU, if it sits nicely, it's pointing to the bad guys)
    b. LAW
    c. A BUNCH of other little items...

    And he taught a class for US about that stuff! It was actually pretty excellent!!! :thumb:

    BUT...on the FINAL!!!!

    We were given images of a T-72 in the distance, and a LAW sight picture and a "where would you aim, what range, etc...etc...to kill the target?" And many other questions fit for IOBC!!! :eek:

    I think at the end I simply said: "Sir, I'd deliver a B83 air delivered weapon, and not have to worry about these questions as it will solve the immediate problem."

    He made some comment about my attitude... :shake:

    But I passed!!! :rockon:

    Steve
    USAFA ALO
    USAFA '83
     
  15. AF6872

    AF6872 Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2007
    Messages:
    2,868
    Likes Received:
    237
    Directions are for Officers: That's why the M18 Claymore says "Front Toward Enemy". Officers read the instructions Sargent's know what to do with the damn thing.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2011
  16. kp2001

    kp2001 USMMA Alumnus

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2006
    Messages:
    2,153
    Likes Received:
    113
    You sure they didn't mistake you for Paul Blart: Mall Cop?? :biggrin::biggrin:

    I must say I love what they have done with the female version of that uniform and where they get to place their combat unit patches (forget the real term Army uses for those) :shake:

    And back to the regular programming :)
     
  17. patentesq

    patentesq Parent

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    1,587
    Likes Received:
    0
    Instructions? What instructions? We were always just told to position the side of the M18 Claymore with the greatest explosive force in the direction of the enemy. Maybe I was in one of the slower IOBC classes, because they never showed us any instructions.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2011
  18. Mikil

    Mikil USAFA Cadet

    Joined:
    May 29, 2008
    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    0
    Freshman year a large group from my squadron went to visit our sponsor base down at Little Rock AFB. As it was before Recognition, and we were out on squadron trip, our AOC required us 4 digs to stay in a uniform, but allowed us to wear Blues with A-Jackets while in town instead of Service Dress. We heard quite a few memorable quotes from civilians who didn't know quite what to think, but the best were:

    ‎"Mommy, look at the astronauts!" -little girl at the movie theatre
    "What are you? Like an Air Force Racing team?" -Cashier at WalMart

    Finally, this conversation with the waitress as Olive Garden was priceless.
    Waitress: What are you guys wearing?
    Freshman 1 (not sure what he was thinking): A-jackets, they're like service dress but without shoulderboards.
    Waitress (as her eyes glaze over and a totally confused look envelopes her face): ???
    Freshman 2: We go to the Air Force Academy
    Waitress: Ohhhhhhh.
     

Share This Page