I Day Woes

Great post for parents MJ. Check them all as your needs dictate.
 
I just want to add a thank-you for the frank remembrances of IDay. My kid held it together until she sat down to eat a sandwich and then burst into tears, this happened twice over our 45mins with her. She had no specific complaints; kept saying "I don't know why I'm crying". I think that on 4hrs sleep over the previous 36, seeing Mom and Dad knowing that you will leave them on the other side of those big doors left her very sad and a little scared. We know she is a tough kid, but she really shook up her Mom, (DD did something in formation waiting to march in that made me feel better).

Reading your posts was really helpful. It doesn't bother me that IDay made her cry, I just hate to think of her crying alone.
 
Just Dad, we had a similar experience last year. From your description, our DD maybe even had a little rougher time on I Day than yours. It's tough leaving your kid like that and then not hearing from them for what feels like a long time. We had no idea what to expect when DD was able to make her first call home. As you wait for that first call, just remember as tough as the wait is, USNA knows what they are doing. By the time that first call comes, your DD will have adjusted somewhat and will probably have been successful with many of the things she feared. We heard a sense of confidence and excitement in our DD that comes from facing and achieving things that you weren't sure you could do. That call really took a load of worry off our minds. My guess is that you will hear something similar when your DD calls. My advice is to follow her lead when she calls and let her do most of the talking. You may want to have a pencil and paper ready to jot notes and compare with your spouse after the call, because it will seem like a blur.
 
Not to highjack the thread but parents should start thinking about PPW. It is a long way off in parents scheme but not that long away as it is 8/11/16 on Plebe calendar or hotel and realtor calendar. Questions to ask. How many will go? How will they get there? Transportation for all from BWI or Amtrak and back and forth to gate 1 or walk? Just parents, maybe a hotel. More than two but less than or four total, maybe two hotel rooms. More, maybe a rental? We have had great luck with "Home Away" for rentals in the Annapolis area (PPW, Graduation and Wedding). There are some other great rental sights in Annapolis with some great rentals for families and friends. Daily cost may look high but figure the hotel rate per night for a number of rooms and it doesn't look so bad and some have yards with grills. Without friends from home your plebe will probably only shower and sleep so plan accordingly. Friends of my Plebe said that touring DTA with her in her summer whites was like being with a rock star but then again when in your life do you get to be a tourist attraction. As an aside, curfew during PPW is a nightmare and you will see Plebes jumping out of cars and running to check in as you wait in your car in the long line to get to the gate. Don't know if they still play the Christmas Carols out the windows of Bancroft as parents leave at end of PPW but I still laugh when I think of that.

We booked a hotel for PPW, but for the next extended stay, we're definitely looking at Home Away or something similar.
 
JustDad and Dadof2 - we're with you. Our son was in tears when we left him and it wasn't because he wasn't going to see us. We're anxiously awaiting his call on Sunday!
 
To those of you who saw their son or daughter in what appeared to be in a distraught condition when you left them on I day let me share our experience. Our son did everything on his own, I was concerned when he applied because he didn't even let us review any of the info that he sent to USNA, we were concerned that we could have offered some pointers. He got an LOA very early (guess he didn't need our help), he had attended Summer Seminar and taken a CVW and he had been on the Yard at least two other times including once during a plebe summer where he asked me to drive him so he could see what it was like (we are three hours away). He was prepared physically and mentally... Or so we thought. When we first saw him after the swearing in ceremony in white works and shaved head an ugly glasses he looked like a deer in the headlights. He was quiet and appeared to be really uncomfortable with his plight. I offered a crappy comment " I thought you were prepared for this", the response was along the lines of "there is something different about being on this side of the wall and knowing this is where you are going to be for some time". His sister who was rarely any help was very encouraging and appeared to get him to loosen up and laugh. Long story short by the first phone call he had made friends, didn't think things were unmanageable and was looking forward to what came next. By second phone call he sounded more mature. By the time we saw him in whites at PPW we were blown away, he had friends was confident and was a better rendition of the him that we knew. And by the way when they were in that final formation before heading back to Mother B at the end of PPW , the one where the firsties play Christmas music out the windows, all he did was give us a wink, an "I got this wink", and he did and hopefully yours will too. Good luck it was a fun ride.
 
USNA13DAD - yeah, we had a really good first call, 180 degrees from the I Day experience. He says, "it sucks," but can see some of the good things he will experience. It is truly a journey, not a destination.
 
In the moment, I-Day is everything, because, at the end of the first day, it's all you know. It's startling, it's a shock, it's madness, it's emotional, it's mind-numbing . . . all at once. However, by the end of the first week, by the end of the summer, by the end of plebe year, by graduation . . . and the rest of your life, it really is nothing more than a blip or a blur. My memories of the day are more from the pictures my parents took than actually remembering the day itself.

IMHO, it's harder on parents. For them, I-Day symbolizes the beginning of true independence/emancipation of their child. It's all done in a single day -- hugging them at Alumni Hall as a civilian and, then, 8-10 hours later, seeing them as a member of the military. And knowing they won't see their kid for another ~45 days. And that their child is now truly an adult. It's a lot to process.

For both, it's kind of like jumping into cold water. Immediate shock and then gradual acceptance. It's just the memories are more the shock for the parents and the gradual acceptance for the mid.

True words. It is hard on the parents and it doesn't get easier the second time around. That said, our oldest graduated USCGA in 2014 and graduation day is just an incredible feeling for both the parents and the graduates. Thank goodness the phone call last Sunday was good!
 
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I'm a Zoomie, not a Squid, but the stories have a similarity. Here are 2 quick ones from a couple of my USAFA classmates -- stories from 37 years ago . . .

Story #1: "The barber leaned down and whispered "You want to keep your hair?" My friend had cut his hair fairly short before showing up, so hope sprang and he replied "Sure". The barber then boomed "Well then hold out your hands, 'cause here it comes!" . . . . :welcome1:


Story #2: "My Dad was a musician, which should impart my level of "military preparedness" for basic. After the PTSD trauma of exiting the bus, getting my Bruce Jenner hairstyle shaved off, and being issued mystery items as a newly minted basic, I was deposited in my room shortly before lunch time and told to "get squared away..."--I had no idea what "squared away" meant. About twenty minutes later I saw a blue shirt walking past, which was fortunate, because I was getting tired and thirsty. I walked out into the hall (in my socks, no less), and asked, "Hey man, where's a coke machine around here?" My immediate response to his reaction in that first 1/4 second was, "What does this dude have against Coca-Cola?" Then I realized, under his spittal-assisted tutelage, that maybe I shouldn't be prosecuting this line of questioning. For the next week, I was "Coke Man" and the default demo basic--at least until succeeded by [name withheld out of respect ;)], who, when reciting his knowledge of Air Force ranks, when asked about Colonel, responded, "Colonel, O-6, denoted by a silver...bird..." "What kind of bird, Mr. XXXXXX?"

"Ma'am, it's a ...chicken!"
Saved by basic cadet chicken."
:jaw:

Try not to be "Coke Man" . . . definitely don't become basic cadet chicken

You will have your own stories . . eventually they will even seem funny . . . you will be fine


Coke man = Epic!
 
Sure do. Just picked a sponsor mid up at BWI, well-rested, ready to go train up some Plebes. Turnover will occur over the next few days, with details about medical issues, training updates, "problem plebes," etc., being shared.

Second set's job is to finish up PS and transition the class into ac year companies, rooms, etc., just before Reform.
 
Mine didn't cry IDay--he cried PPW--each night when we took him back. He tried to hide it and we pretended not to see. He now openly admits each night he didn't want to go back. My husband and I just wanted to grab him and run like hell to the airport. He's 2c now and when he visits home I STILL wish I could just keep him here. It's gotten easier--but I know our time together will be less and less every year. I did my job now it's his time to soar--I just don't have to like it!!
 
Mine didn't cry IDay--he cried PPW--each night when we took him back. He tried to hide it and we pretended not to see. He now openly admits each night he didn't want to go back. My husband and I just wanted to grab him and run like hell to the airport. He's 2c now and when he visits home I STILL wish I could just keep him here. It's gotten easier--but I know our time together will be less and less every year. I did my job now it's his time to soar--I just don't have to like it!!

Blondie - it's YOUR time to soar too. Nest emptying out? What's on your list for self-development, enrichment and enjoyment? After I went to my first duty station in Spain, my mom plunged into community leadership, refreshing and exercising her formidable organizational skills for all kinds of worthy causes. Though she had worked up until she met my dad, and some part-time after that, she centered her life around me and my dad until I left the nest for good. When she passed away in her 90's, she was head of the Food Committee at her assisted living community, and still a force to be reckoned with.
 
As I read all of these posts, I find myself sniffling and wiping my eyes. My DD hopes to be attending USMA in the class of 2021. She is a strong, tenacious, resourceful and caring person. And her traits mimic what I've read here. I can't tell any of you what it's like to be in the military. I can't tell any of you what is in store for cadets, parents or families of anyone at a SA. However; the kind, optimistic and "you've got this" message is reassuring. Not only to me a parent but I assume to most, if not all, reading this.

Thanks for positive feedback!
 
Dad of 2, reading your post I realize you created Dad of 2 before I created Dadof2. I would have picked something different if I had seen yours before!

I found this site after my DD's Plebe year was almost over at USNA and about the time my DS accepted his 4-yr NROTC Marine Option scholarship this year (after the TWE from USNA). Great bunch of people on this forum with tons of good information I wish we had at the start of their journeys.

Good luck to your DD and I hope she realizes her dream of attending USMA. There is tons of great advice here to help her. I hope she is looking at the other SA's and ROTC scholarships as well. You've probably already heard this, but it's truly best for her to really own the process. It is a lot of work, but the process itself is a learning experience and if she goes through all of the work on her own, you will be much more confident that she really wants this and is following her dream.
 
Mine didn't cry IDay--he cried PPW--each night when we took him back. He tried to hide it and we pretended not to see. He now openly admits each night he didn't want to go back. My husband and I just wanted to grab him and run like hell to the airport. He's 2c now and when he visits home I STILL wish I could just keep him here. It's gotten easier--but I know our time together will be less and less every year. I did my job now it's his time to soar--I just don't have to like it!!
Reading your post is making me sad. I am excited to see DS in Aug. but will be extremely sad to send him off the last day of Parents weekend? He just turned 18yrs old last month and still a baby. He loves Pokemon & would love the new Pokemon searching game, lol.
 
Reading your post is making me sad. I am excited to see DS in Aug. but will be extremely sad to send him off the last day of Parents weekend? He just turned 18yrs old last month and still a baby. He loves Pokemon & would love the new Pokemon searching game, lol.

Blessedmom, You may be surprised how out of touch he feels when you see him PPW. I remember last year at PPW DD wanted to know the latest popular songs, what had happened on TV shows she liked, etc.
 
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