I'm currently a 4/c midshipman at USNA and after about a month into the academic year, I began to realize that the Naval Academy isn't really for me. When I was in high school, I was so passionate about applying to the academy and there was nothing that had ever made me happier than when I received the appointment. Now that I've arrived at my supposed "goal," I'm really confused whether I'm at the right place or not. To give a little bit of a background to my dilemma: My older brother also goes to the academy and he, unlike me, genuinely wants to be here and wants to become an officer. My cousin graduated from the academy and he's really the one that started this trend of attending USNA. I've been thinking a lot lately and decided that I came here almost by an accident. I simply mimicked what my brother did; he went to NASS after his junior year in HS and my mom asked me if I wanted give it a try and I thought, "why not?" I just went for a "summer camp" experience. When I came back from NASS and when my mom asked me how it was and if I had enjoyed it, I told her that I had a good time. This has always been a problem for me; I could almost never give a "no" for an answer, especially when it involved making my mom proud and satisfied. Basically, I unintentionally began the process of applying to USNA and blindly accepted the offer of appointment. Now that I've spent some time here at the academy, I've learned that I don't really want to be a military officer. Most other people here had a patriotic motivation or a personal goal they wanted to achieve when they decided to come to this place. But when I'm asked the question, "why did you come here?," I have a hard time giving an answer. Of course, the truthful answer would be, "I just did what my brother did and agreed to my parents' suggestion of coming here." But the hard part of my dilemma is that I've made some great friends here and developed good relationships with the upperclass. I don't want to disappoint them by leaving. Also, I'm afraid of some of the potential consequences, like how, where, and when I'll be going back to school if I choose to leave, how I'm going to deal with the ACE loan debt, and what I'm gonna do with all of the issued items that I have in possession such as my uniforms and my textbooks. I really need some advice here. When I talk to my parents on the phone and when they ask me how things are going, it's difficult for me to say how I truly feel; I always resort to saying things like, "it's going well," or "it's not too bad." What should I do?