Is anyone willing to read my essay and give me their thoughts?

Discussion in 'ROTC' started by CSU Cadet, Jan 5, 2016.

  1. CSU Cadet

    CSU Cadet Member

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    Hello, I have spent awhile coming up ideas for my essay, and this week I finally put those ideas into words. Is anyone willing to give their thoughts on it before I upload it and finally complete my application? I will message it to you if so.

    Thank you,
    Darien
     
  2. rocatlin

    rocatlin Member

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    Go this route first...

    While you may find someone on this board to read your essay, I suggest you start with an English teacher for grammatical analysis. Another good idea is to have a person that knows you (and is objective) read the essay or if you have access to one, an officer in the military branch you are trying to get a scholarship for. English teacher for grammar; knowledgeable person for content and direction.

    I suggest this since the essay has to "be" you. No one on the board knows you. Another suggestion would have someone you'd use as an objective reference read it for content. If they know you well enough to be a legitimate reference then they can analyze your essay.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2016
  3. CSU Cadet

    CSU Cadet Member

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    Hmm, today is the deadline, so thats why I came here. Just some quick thoughts from people who are experienced with this. I could ask my Sergeant for Future Soldier Training, but he's not very familiar with ROTC.
     
  4. rocatlin

    rocatlin Member

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    The person reading over your essay doesn't need to be familiar with ROTC -- while you are submitting an application for a scholarship, you are really submitting an application to become an Army officer. Will that person agree with your content that you are the right person to be an Army officer -- not a scholarship recipient.

    I'm not trying to state the obvious, but those of experienced in the process will state that we are a little troubled with "hmm, today is the deadline, so that's why I came here." There is a saying that "early is on-time, and on-time is late" when it comes to serving.

    Practically for time sake it probably would be quicker to have face to face interaction for feedback purposes.

    Having said that, possibly your sergeant is the right person if no officer is available.
     
  5. CSU Cadet

    CSU Cadet Member

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    I had my essay sitting in Google docs for awhile while I made sure everything else was in order. I did realize a little too late that I should have had someone with experience check it though. I don't mean to make the impression that I came here last minute. I did have a teacher check it, I just thought someone on here would be better at looking at the army aspect of my essay.
     
  6. Dckc88

    Dckc88 Member

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    It is what it is, today is the deadline, you cannot change it now, get the help you need today, you can PM if you want, but I seriously don't know if my eyes would be helpful or not. I am just a Mom, but I have graded many a college essay and can help with whether or not it answers the questions, is concise, makes sense, etc, it is only 2000 characters so don't over think it. I don't know what makes a good ROTC scholarship essay or not, but I will pass on the advice my DD got from a couple different ROO's who did read her essay.

    1. Tell your story, don't worry about if it is what people are looking for, give your "why" for wanting to be an. Officer, be honest and that will come through. Like was said above, be you.
    2. Be concise, wordiness isn't necessary.
    3. Make sure to incorporate how you bring something to benefit the Army, not just what you want from the Army.
    4. Answer the prompt/question.
     
    rocatlin and AROTC-dad like this.
  7. CSU Cadet

    CSU Cadet Member

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    Ok, thank you!
     

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