I've taken the step backward..and a deep, very deep breath.

Discussion in 'Military Academy - USMA' started by Mayhemmadness27, Mar 29, 2010.

  1. Mayhemmadness27

    Mayhemmadness27 Member

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    With all the utmost respect and faithful honor this message is intended for the following:
    America's Finest**, tedsnyder63, cjs, sprog, linkgmr, adoloris, 11BRAVO, marciemi**, js3486, vampsoul, chewyoatmeal, TheKnight**, Luigi59, adoloris, Stealth 81, Perfection'stheGoal, Tinidril, Dixieland, PotentialParent, mmb5, Futurepilot22, SeaMars, Just a Mom, Grannie, Lilly, BR2011, House06, Chockstock.

    If you are reading this now, and are someone who so valiantly and compassionately helped me, or tried to while I struggled, this is for you. I have previously posted a number of threads and posts regarding my current candidacy to the academy; where I stood as a candidate, how I felt, what I would do if I were a committee member – things of the nature, inappropriate or not. I would like everyone to know the last week or so has been an astronomical wake up call. Stemming from the aid my fellow forum members have kindly offered, as well as the denial of my application to USMA, and the help of the applying admissions staff, this formal apology and rejuvenation of my stature is in essence my soul’s rebuttal; if at all possible.

    I accept the reason I have been declined for candidacy, it is what it is. I’ve taken the advice to heart, and transduced it into the core of my being, the fibers of my heart, which brings me to the here-and-now. No some epiphany has not come over me, I’m still the same person, only illustrated in a different light from a different perspective, a much calmer and logical perspective. What is different now is not only my tone but my approach. What I did to get me disqualified is of my own accord, I made that choice, and now I have to live with it, there is no going back but moving forward, it is a steadfast regret from a couple years ago. I have learned a myriad of lessons, ones I will never revisit – ever. Nevertheless, that reality is not what has come over me, because these things I already know. Portraying my new found ability to respond differently in those juvenile situations is a much more enduring opportunity, something I would be tickled to do. The world does not owe me anything; if anything, I should be paying forward what I’ve been so blessedly graced with. My expectations have clouded my perspective immensely, I do not deserve anything; nobody should just ‘give’ me an appointment because it is in order, because it’s just the way it’s gotta be. No. It’s not like that, and many of you have helped me realize this.

    At the time I made my posts I was feeling a lot, and I was just hoping, beyond the shadow of all doubt, someone, anyone, would be able to reverse this decision, and help me realistically and tangibly rather than emotionally to stable my uncontrolled mind. This has been made clear, my aims, though not effortless, are lost. When I was posting I was in the middle of a golf round with my brother (’07 Grad), because I fantasized someone would say something to make this all go away. To say “Hey you’re wrong, they’ve admitted you into the class of 2014!” I was that low. What I have found through the time and hearts of many of you is that my position has not desinegrated as far as options. I have relayed my immaculate ambition to go to West Point. It is lifelong and lived daily. Though a few of my transgressions tell a different story, it is imperative this ambition is not lost, rather with a new day: more focused and evolving. These ‘incidents’ which many are aware of, are not small in nature, but large in stature, and to my regret – defining. But I will not let my past define me, because if I could escape it, which are juvenile transgressions in essence (not to demean seriousness that is), I will be ready for the next adventure, hopefully someday with a big 'A' on my chest.

    I guess in seriousness the aim of this post is to clear my reputation, not as a candidate (past candidate or candidate to be), but for my own consciousness to rekindle, because I as a young adult, a young aspiring man, I feel it is necessary for my immature and spontaneous judgment to get a grip. And if I can change one person’s perception of me, and if in the future one person see my name tagged to a post and think under a different perspective (under a positive light that is), I feel that makes me successful; not in all walks of life, but it’s a start. Sure I have a long ways to go, and a diligent battle to fight, because the valor of the young men and women who died before me MUST not be outlived, but defined with reason – because there are people out there like me who are living to live for them, and everything they did. This is why my ambition to take that 42 month (or so) adventure though West Point and the years of honorable years to come as an officer(and yes, this truly is in my heart, I am committed) is so steadfast, moreso driven and inspired; with honorable intentions. Selfless intentions. Because to be humble is to listen and be guided by other subordinates, and from there create a character not driven by gratitude or credibility like I once childishly envisioned, but to create a character motivated to serve. And that’s all this is, aspirations to serve, ambition to save, heroism to taste something grateful. And if that means I find my feet inside Thayer Gate so be it; for then it is meant to be. But if not, (which I have come to terms may be an alternative, though not my first choice), I will defend with my greatest instincts what I believe the world should be, starting and ending with the sons, daughters, husband’s and wives, mothers and fathers who couldn’t say what they needed or wanted to because their commitments were too humbling, the commitments that took their lives. And my life goal is to do something of the given regard, and in nature, serve. Enlisting is probably most of your first thoughts, I have been directed to do so, but I just don’t know yet if this does my ambition justice, because I want so much more, and I feel capable of different alternatives. Those like West Point. But if it comes down to it, yes, enlist, and put my money where my mouth is.

    I haven’t yet figured out what I’m going to do. I have a meeting set with a West Point council on campus Thursday, which I will be relaying rhetoric of the same message. This meeting is not intended to recover where I’ve been ‘short-sticked’ or ‘sucker punched’ because I haven’t been, I respect decisions made by these honorable men and women of infinite wisdom and judgment, and I stand beside them. But the reason I’m going is to regain what my conscience and innocence had lost though this series of expectation, and get a glimpse of how to do it differently the next time around; which all of you have helped me at a minimum; grasp.

    In conclusion I hope someone can take this message to heart, and understand it comes from more than my intellect; it’s really from my soul, and my apologies to anyone I might have offended or disgusted, this letter is of my own accord, and I felt it was due.
    Respectfully,
    Mayhemmadness27
     
  2. marciemi

    marciemi USMA Alumnus

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    Just clarifying - are you going out to West Point on Thursday? Is that where the meeting is? Have they given you any optimism that they may revise the decision based upon the results of that meeting? I definitely think you have the right attitude now going into that meeting and wish you the best of luck - whether it's this year, or down the road, or in whatever you decide to do! :thumb:
     
  3. cjs

    cjs Member

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    This is an incredibly well written and heartfelt post and I'm sure it was not easy for you to write. I have to say that I have a lot of respect for the fact that you came back on and took the time to post

    You obviously are a great young man who will achieve many more wonderful things over the rest of your life.

    I wish you good luck at your meeting, I really do. Please let us know how you make out.
     
  4. Mayhemmadness27

    Mayhemmadness27 Member

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    Wow. You really don't know how repreaving your concern is and most importantly your ability to look past my transgressions as a kid. I consider myself a young adult now, and to walk away knowing I at least made amends makes it much easier to mature and move on. My meeting is Thursday, at the West Point Admissions department, I'm hoping to be met with at least a few open minds, and going prepared, but unlike before, with no expectations. Because again I don't deserve anything, but I'm hoping, just hoping I can illustrate who I am accordingly, and from there I can be recommended with a few options for next year, unless a miracle happens, which would sell my soul beyond anything to my commitment, because it will not be regreted.
     
  5. Mayhemmadness27

    Mayhemmadness27 Member

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    Let me make this clearer, so there is no clause for alterior motives. This appointment Thursday is to discuss and pave the path for tomorrow, for next year, so I can jump this hurdle next time around. "A wise man seeks many council." And that's all it is, just to make further clarification.
     
  6. Chockstock

    Chockstock "Forever One Team"

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    Stunning post - I nearly paid more attention to the way you expressed yourself almost more than the message you intended to convey. Great rhetoric right here.

    What an awesome thing to know that you turned over a new leaf - your past never defines your future. There are many famous military men who made poor decisions in their pasts but went on to become successful and respected. No doubt you'll turn out equally, if not a superior officer and I truly wish you get appointed next year. Our country needs more humble and respectable people like you :thumb:
     
  7. marciemi

    marciemi USMA Alumnus

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    That's definitely a great outlook. Find out for sure IF what kept you out this year will continue to next year as well, or what you need to do to prove to them that you have in fact turned over a new leaf.

    And I don't think seeing if there IS any possible way that they can help you this year is an ulterior motive. It's a reasonable hope at this point in the game - if for no other reason than they ARE willing to meet with you. This is a great time to get some one on one face time so that even if it doesn't work out this year, you're already set in their minds for next year. Keep the meeting positive and get as much advice from them as you can. And if they do tell you that it will continue to DQ you, then at least you'll know that and can move on to plan B. But I think they'll be willing to work with you.

    Be sure to let us know how it goes! Good luck!
     
  8. Mayhemmadness27

    Mayhemmadness27 Member

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    As far as I am aware of, and based on the input I have currently received from the admissions representatives, my file was disqualified legally from JAG. JAG will disqualify everyone who has any legal citations or convictions with fines totaling more than $250, which in my case remains to be apparent. Unfortunately, this will remain to be the protocol. From JAG, similar to the medical waiver process, the file legally DQ'd need's a waiver. This waiver is granted by the admissions department; consequently when this department meets as a committee, they will decide to air in favor of the DQ or in favor of the waiver. From there, I would have, under ideal circumstances, received an appointment since this hurdle was the final qualifying remedy; thus granting me peace and serenity, and had me bawling on my knees at the opportunity, but as the cards are played, that did not happen. It was not likely and did not happen, like i said before, it's undesirable but things happen, and people will always find a way to surprise you. From there, my application next year is contingent upon the admissions committee granting this legal waiver. Hopefully there is an ulterior outcome the next time around.
     
  9. vampsoul

    vampsoul Candidate

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    One of the hardest lessons we must learn as maturing adults is to admit when we have erred. One of the most important skills we must then learn is how to keep moving towards your goals even though they seem out of reach. Your letter indicates that you have learned the lesson and are developing the skill. You are a fine person to apologize in such a public manner, and I am very proud of you for continuing to seek your goal despite obstacles. Good luck, and I look forward to someday being your fellow Army soldier.
     
  10. Mayhemmadness27

    Mayhemmadness27 Member

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    Thanks for your gesture, though it's simple in basics, it does a number on my psyche, positively through my emotion, because now it's easier to move on knowing I'm not a failure. Being on the front lines with someone who respects me would be more than an honor, it would be a deliberate life sentance, and proudly at that. I hope so too someday - vampsoul, I really do, but if that someday never comes I'll be cheering for ya from behind.
     
  11. House06

    House06 Member

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    I was very moved by your comments and willingness to make a public statement. I know that must have been very hard. Unfortunately, you have experienced what I have pointed out time and time again to my own daughter that actions have consequences and sometimes things that we just do and dont think too much about can haunt us for a very long time.

    I have to tell you that your mature attitude and ability for self-reflection will carry you far. Hopefully to West Point but regardless of the eventual outcome if you continue to strive for your goals and still maintain a sense of humility, acceptance and stepping up to take responsibility, ultimately you will land on your intended path.

    I wish you much luck and success in your future endeavors.
     
  12. js3486

    js3486 Parent

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    Mayhem,

    Sometimes reality overpowers are expectations. It is unfortunate that your past indiscretions have created such a hardship toward attaining your primary goals. I was quite impressed with your thoughtful and introspective remarks. If it were up to me I would put you through as you have shown a level of maturity most young people your age do not yet posses. I know if you continue on this path you will be successful. Best of luck, never surrender, and keep charging forward! You are and will continue to be in my prayers.
     
  13. Just_A_Mom

    Just_A_Mom Member

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    Mayhemmadness:
    good for you. don't let your prior transgressions define your future. Live with this decision and spend the next year redeeming yourself.
    Good for you for visiting West Point. Take their advice to heart. You are also lucky to have a great role model in your brother.
    Look at this as a bump in the road. You didn't get in this year, so aim for next year.

    Thanks for posting this:
    Every candidate should read this and take this seriously.
    Now, I am just guessing here but West Point had an awful lot of talent from which to choose this year. Their class is full - more applications and more accepted appointments. They can afford to be picky.
    Your job for the next year is to give them reason to pick you.
    Best Wishes.....
     
  14. PAParentUSNA

    PAParentUSNA Member

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    chin up

    mayham,
    I hope it works out for you. If not, enlistment would definately be the way to go. Applying for the Services Academies is always for service to country first.
    If you truely want to serve enlist.
    Enlistment can open doorways for you. You would have a leg up to re-apply and a nice hefty letter of recommendation from your Commanding Officer would/should/hope lessen the juvenile infraction. OCS could be a sure fire way too to gain your dream of a Officer. Believe me, all of us have done something in our past that may have knocked us off our dreams.
    You seem like a intelligent, and most importantly remorsefull person and have matured.
    I think you will be a plus and benefit to any service branch.
    Good Luck!
     
  15. GuitarHero

    GuitarHero Member

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    Hi Mayhemmadness: You are brave and thoughtful... I thought you might enjoy this link from a business show entitled 'Tech Ticker' from a few weeks ago... There isn't a day that doesn't go by I don't fail somehow, but I often use failure to better myself. The guest on the show, Diane Gernick spoke to students at MIT about how failing is a good thing. Garnick says the average person fails 10 times over the span of their career. Since it's inevitable, she says it's best to fail early in one's career. Not only will you learn more, it will be less damaging to your company -- and your career. Some other tips:
    Don't Deny Failure: You can't learn from your mistakes if you don't own up to them. You'll be much wiser and more successful if you acknowledge your failure.
    Take Risks: Think about career risk and reward "the same way we think about risk and reward in investing," says Garnick, who knows a little bit about taking risks and overcoming failure, as detailed here.
    As Michael Jordan would say: "'You can't win the game if you don't take a shot.'"
    Here's the link to Tech Ticker video with her on it:
    http://finance.yahoo.com/tech-ticke...e-to-the-fine-art-of-failure-yftt_441412.html
    I wish you well and a great career. My son is ROTC School of Mines loving it.
    Guitarhero
     
  16. jennyp

    jennyp Parent

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    Mayhem: We will all be waiting to hear what comes of your meeting at USMA!
     
  17. PotentialParent

    PotentialParent Member

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    Best of luck in the future. As a person that tends to get to emotionally charged sometimes myself, I enjoyed reading your post. Keep working, good things will come.
     
  18. Mayhemmadness27

    Mayhemmadness27 Member

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    Well since everyone was so interested to hear about what my excursion to write my own version of Orange County ended in - they ultimately decided to re-open my file for a second consideration. Now anyone who has been rejected by USMA reading this please understand you cant just show up to Admissions BLDG 606 and tell them why you deserve a second chance. It doesn't work that way - my case was exceptionally unique. It is being re-opened by lack of documentation the first time around, as the committee was unaware of some external circumstances I was too vulnerable to expose the first time around. These circumstances have to do with my family situation and a debilitating illness that occurred within the family regarding physical and emotional abuse etc. which can at a minimum explain, yet not dismiss, my severe lapses in judgment as a growing teen.

    So that is where I stand. Again these circumstances are sincerely unique and cannot be replicated by any hopeful candidate - I do not encourage it. It was extremely enduring and woefully witty on my part to even attempt to embark on such an enterprise; nevertheless, I embraced opportunity and walked through it's doors so here I stand hanging on a balance until I hear further instruction.

    Thank you all for your compassionate support and encouragement, it is deeply motivational.
    -MM27
     
  19. vampsoul

    vampsoul Candidate

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    We are all pulling for you!
     

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