Leaving the Academy

He did in the fall and seemed so much happier then. Now he just seems like he is in shut down mode. He seems incredibly angry and cynical. He is a pilot and isn't even interested in flying right now. Truth be told, I fear he is depressed. I have urged him to contact a counselor there before he decides but he just keeps telling me he needs to get out asap. As hard as it is for me to see him walk away from all the opportunities he would have there I think I need to let go. He's a fun loving , kind and talented kid who has amazing potential. He has supportive friends at home but truly feels he will not be missed once he is gone from the Academy. I find this hard to believe but it might just go back to the fact that the military is not for everyone. I still feel like something happened over the last few months that I don't understand. I'll keep you posted as to what transpires after he returns tomorrow. Thanks again. I really appreciate all your supportive words.


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I wouldn't recommend he go to his AOC with depression. The right place(s) are to seek out a chaplain or go to the Peak Performance Center (PPC). They will counsel for up to 3 sessions without making it a part of their record. I know several cadets who went this route and it helped them quite a bit. Just having someone to chat with that understands completely what you're going through will help. Take Zampstamp up on his offer. I think he and your son may be able to help each other out & its nice to have someone to talk to that is going through the same issues.

If your son is still considering Form 34, he will be counseled to ensure that it is the right course for him. This isn't a "sign the paperwork and leave" process. USAFA understands the ups and downs of cadet life and tries to help with this decision.
 
He did in the fall and seemed so much happier then. Now he just seems like he is in shut down mode. He seems incredibly angry and cynical. He is a pilot and isn't even interested in flying right now. Truth be told, I fear he is depressed. I have urged him to contact a counselor there before he decides but he just keeps telling me he needs to get out asap. As hard as it is for me to see him walk away from all the opportunities he would have there I think I need to let go. He's a fun loving , kind and talented kid who has amazing potential. He has supportive friends at home but truly feels he will not be missed once he is gone from the Academy. I find this hard to believe but it might just go back to the fact that the military is not for everyone. I still feel like something happened over the last few months that I don't understand. I'll keep you posted as to what transpires after he returns tomorrow. Thanks again. I really appreciate all your supportive words.


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I wouldn't recommend he go to his AOC with depression. The right place(s) are to seek out a chaplain or go to the Peak Performance Center (PPC). They will counsel for up to 3 sessions without making it a part of their record. I know several cadets who went this route and it helped them quite a bit. Just having someone to chat with that understands completely what you're going through will help. Take Zampstamp up on his offer. I think he and your son may be able to help each other out & its nice to have someone to talk to that is going through the same issues.

If your son is still considering Form 34, he will be counseled to ensure that it is the right course for him. This isn't a "sign the paperwork and leave" process. USAFA understands the ups and downs of cadet life and tries to help with this decision.
Forgive my ignorance and being naive i guess, but why not the AOC? I am assuming it is because going that route is not confidential? I was always under the assumption that depression and all that is covered by strict confidentiality rules and the AOC is highest non cadet leader in the squad. As it is I am still learning new things from this forum everytime. If he uses Form 34, is the AOC involved?
 
He did in the fall and seemed so much happier then. Now he just seems like he is in shut down mode. He seems incredibly angry and cynical. He is a pilot and isn't even interested in flying right now. Truth be told, I fear he is depressed. I have urged him to contact a counselor there before he decides but he just keeps telling me he needs to get out asap. As hard as it is for me to see him walk away from all the opportunities he would have there I think I need to let go. He's a fun loving , kind and talented kid who has amazing potential. He has supportive friends at home but truly feels he will not be missed once he is gone from the Academy. I find this hard to believe but it might just go back to the fact that the military is not for everyone. I still feel like something happened over the last few months that I don't understand. I'll keep you posted as to what transpires after he returns tomorrow. Thanks again. I really appreciate all your supportive words.


Sent using the Service Academy Forums® mobile app

I wouldn't recommend he go to his AOC with depression. The right place(s) are to seek out a chaplain or go to the Peak Performance Center (PPC). They will counsel for up to 3 sessions without making it a part of their record. I know several cadets who went this route and it helped them quite a bit. Just having someone to chat with that understands completely what you're going through will help. Take Zampstamp up on his offer. I think he and your son may be able to help each other out & its nice to have someone to talk to that is going through the same issues.

If your son is still considering Form 34, he will be counseled to ensure that it is the right course for him. This isn't a "sign the paperwork and leave" process. USAFA understands the ups and downs of cadet life and tries to help with this decision.
Forgive my ignorance and being naive i guess, but why not the AOC? I am assuming it is because going that route is not confidential? I was always under the assumption that depression and all that is covered by strict confidentiality rules and the AOC is highest non cadet leader in the squad. As it is I am still learning new things from this forum everytime. If he uses Form 34, is the AOC involved?

I believe the AOC is involved with the Form 34 -- I will leave this for a current cadet to verify. The counseling I mention has more to do with career counseling & determining if the Form 34 is the right course of action.

I would recommend going down the strictly confidential path if you need to speak with someone about feeling depressed or isolated - at least initially. The AOC isn't a doctor/psychologist. Go speak with someone with training in that area. The AOC is responsible for the health and well being of the cadets in his charge, so he MAY send the cadet to the hospital to speak with a psychiatrist OR he may recommend PPC. I know of one cadet who was sent to the hospital and its on her record. Don't get me wrong. If the depression is severe enough, then forget PQ and go get some help!

Also, the impression I get from DD is that you don't bother the AOC unless you have to. You ask those in your chain of command (i.e. upperclassmen) first. There are PEERs you can speak with, but that may not work in this case. PEERs are upperclassmen who are trained and available to listen. It should be confidential. Often, just being able to talk to someone is all that's needed.
 
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Well as soon as he put in the form, the darkness started to part from his being. He talked with a young counselor who seemed nice and agreed that he had thought things through and a military career is just not for him. He has packed his things, requested recommendations and said his "thank yous" to those he respected. Now we just wait. We are all adjusting and now looking forward to the next chapter. Hopefully a place where he will be all he can be.


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Thanks for the update. It sounds like he made the best decision for him. It will take him awhile to adjust to a new normal, but with the great family that you are backing him, he will find his path and do well! He didn't fail, he was smart and realized it wasn't the right fit. No shame in that at all. Best of luck to him and your family!
 
One of my prep school classmates...during our 4 dig year...darkness, depression; it just wasn't for him.

He left; to many of our sad looks...

I ran into him about 20 years later; we were both Lt Col's!! He had gone to a "regular college" and loved life...did great, joined ROTC because he "missed the structure and comraderie..."

And he retired after 25 years as a Colonel.

You just never know how things will work out!

My best wishes to your son!!! Blue skies always!

Steve
USAFA ALO
USAFA '83
 
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