My Essay- Anyone want to critique?

Discussion in 'Naval Academy - USNA' started by Jenale80, Jan 22, 2011.

  1. Jenale80

    Jenale80 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey I'm a new to the forums, but most of the info I have found using the search engine so i have no need to post anything until now. I will PM my essay to those who are willing to review and critique. I really want to go to USNA, but my grades and ACT score isn't absolutely superb (ACT-26 Dec. :frown:) so I'm thinking my essay is the best way to get them to understand that I am NOT a slacker and that I really want to serve in the US Navy.
     
  2. F22F35

    F22F35 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2010
    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sure! I will try to help you with it if you want- but I am just another candidate...:shake: Are you a junior or a senior? GL:thumb:
     
  3. philparker

    philparker Member

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2009
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Try to re-take the ACT or SAT if you can. A 26 isn't terrible but improving on it certainly wouldn't hurt. My prep school tells me that 30% of your entire application is your math score on the ACT or SAT so definitely focus on improving there.
     
  4. F22F35

    F22F35 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2010
    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Number2.com is a really helpful source of SAT (and maybe ACT) study info. And its free!:thumb:
     
  5. Jenale80

    Jenale80 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am a senior. I was irresponsible during the summer and didn't take the SAT or ACT. My naive junior mind thought that every month there was an SAT or ACT test. Not uh! Anyway reality hit me in my senior year. I took the ACT twice, once in September and another in December. Its pretty much too late though for me to take it again. The registration for the Feb. 12 ACT is closed and it wouldn't make it to the Academy before March anyway. The highest I received in the math was a 28 from my September ACT (But 24 composite-ouch!).
     
  6. lovethenavy

    lovethenavy Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2010
    Messages:
    255
    Likes Received:
    1
    I don't want to take this thread too off topic, but start early on your ACT/SAT prep. My daugher will apply for USNA and USAFA and is a sophmore in highschool right now. Already she is thinking about taking a class to prepare her for the ACT and her teacher wants her to take it this spring. My son also took a class which was offered free by his highschool and took the ACT until he felt that he was satisfied that he had done his best and could not get a higher score. As far as an essay critique...do you have an English or Lit teacher at your highschool who would look at it for you and give you some constructive advice? Good luck to you.:smile:
     
  7. F22F35

    F22F35 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2010
    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well you cannot worry about your grades now- so just be happy that admissions is based on the whole person concept:shake::biggrin:!
    GL:thumb:
     
  8. Jenale80

    Jenale80 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    True that
     
  9. Jenale80

    Jenale80 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah, I'm going to my AP English teacher this monday for more constructive criticism. Since there are a lot of Navy folks on here I'd thought it would be also beneficial for me to ask for some input.

    Thats cool that your daughter is taking everything early, but remember that she can only use a certain amount of score dates for her college applications and whatnot
     
  10. Casey

    Casey USMA 2015

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2010
    Messages:
    378
    Likes Received:
    29
    Yea but I think that's like 4 or 5 times taking the test Jenale, which if you take the SAT or ACT more then that, good luck to you for putting yourself through that torture.

    A quick tip on SAT/ACT's that we figured out and seems to work, if you look to take the tests early (especially junior spring) and prep hard for that, because less kids are rushing to take it on these dates, you have a better chance to rank better nationally in the national percentiles, giving you a better score overall, at least on the SAT.

    The scaling of the SAT is based on where you are nationally compared to the others who took it on the test date. The dates that there are less people taking it (historically in the early spring like the March test dates when juniors don't worry about it as much thinking they can just take it later and its too late for most seniors' applications), will help you if you can score well on it.

    Of course, this isn't going to bump you up a lot, but it does help a bit if you're looking to try and take the test as few times as possible. (I thankfully took it just once in March, pretty much before the majority of my classmates for college recruiting for soccer purposes and it helped out). Also remember that the Academies will take your best scores in each section from multiple tests to give you the best overall score, or at least West Point does this which could help someone if they did better on one test one time then another.
     
  11. F22F35

    F22F35 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2010
    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey I sent you a PM with my suggestions! Hope you get in:biggrin:
     
  12. R I

    R I Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2010
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know you said it's too late for you to retake the SAT/ACT, so I'm not trying to rub it in, but for anyone else who is a junior and hasn't taken the tests...

    I took the SAT last May, which happened to be the night after prom, not just for my school, but for a lot of others. I thought I did worse than the previous time, but I ended up scores 200 points higher than my previous test.. enough to call it quits on the SAT before my junior year was over and saved me A LOT of stress.

    The reason I think I did so much better was because, like Casey already said, national scaling was a lot more generous to me because less people took the test (I know a lot of people who canceled after learning it was after prom). My advice, take the SAT as early as possible.

    Thanks for letting me go a little off topic :p
     
  13. Jenale80

    Jenale80 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    RI,
    Its alright, I know you're not trying to rub it in. Its a warning to all juniors out there, take the tests early. Its really important!
     
  14. westkaps

    westkaps Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2010
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Jenale80, make sure you send the academy your 24, you may think it is a bad composite but they only consider your highest math and English scores in admission. All they care about is your 28 in math on that test which is not a bad score.
     
  15. Jenale80

    Jenale80 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    I actually sent in my first test first because of that reason. I'm sending in the second because it has a higher English score
     
  16. USNAorBUST

    USNAorBUST Beat Army

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2010
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey, I am applying for a second time as a college student now. I have taken the ACT 4 different times, and on my 4th time I finally got my highest score of 30 on both math and english. My words of wisdom- take it as many times as possible, because I believe it will look good for the admissions board to see. Good luck!
     
  17. USNAorBUST

    USNAorBUST Beat Army

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2010
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    I forgot to say, it is never to late to take the ACT test. I was in college when I took it for the fourth time. Sort of awkward going back to high school but deffinatly worth it
     
  18. Whistle Pig

    Whistle Pig Banned

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2006
    Messages:
    1,634
    Likes Received:
    1
    USNA does not care if one takes the SAT and/or ACT 1, 2 ...or 22 times. They only care about scores from math and verbal/English ...and the higest score on each of those 2. You cannot use one from SAT and the other from ACT, but you can apply different testing events for each.

    Again, they do not care how many times you've taken the tests. Report them all.

    btw, it is too late to take the ACT or SAT for those seeking appointments to the Class of 2015.

    Also, the last breakdown I saw on the weighting to math ACT/SAT was 20%. That's been a few years, so don't know if that's changed. And it is the most heavily weighted factor in contributing to the whole person score. And note ...unlike Ivies and other highly selective institutions going away from utilizing rank ...USNA wants to know rank, even if it's approximate as it is deemed a more valuable assessment than only A's, B's etc...It indicates where you are relative to your current peer group. And furthermore, it is a "sign" of things to come at USNA where Mids are ranked on everything from academic performance to how well they wax floors! Always in competition. And it does not stop there, altho rankings contribute heavily to obtaining preferred professional communities, ship assignments, flight school scheduling and on and on.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2011
  19. navy2016

    navy2016 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Messages:
    609
    Likes Received:
    2
    It is def good to take it multiple times, but it is better to be prepared and know what you are probably going to score before taking it.

    Use test prep books, they do help
    test at least 3 practice tests before doing the real thing each time


    I am a junior and have taken it twice
    first time- 28 comp: 28 eng and 31 math
    second time- 30 comp: 30 eng and 33 math

    I'm not number 1 at my school- I do make B's but in all IB/AP courses. I simply did some studying on my own and got those scores. I am taking it again next month.
     

Share This Page