Nat guard Mom in custody battle

Agree across the board. However; not knowing what the family plan says; IF, a big IF here; the family plan has a place for the father to actually sign and "Accept" custody and responsibility, along with power of attorney for the child to utilize military medical benefits and such, then it can very well be used as a contract that the court can/may use. The deal is; every state is different. But the father hasn't left the state, so it should be binding. This is no different than 2 people hand writing a bill of sale for a boat, tv, computer, or car. As long as it was properly done, and all parties agreed and signed it, along with a witness, it very much can be used as a binding contract in a court room. Bill of sales are done all the time. There is no law that states that a person must have a lawyer.

Now; if this was a document that only the mother signed and filled out; and the father didn't sign and acknowledge, then no; it isn't binding. This has nothing to do with military or civilian. The military required it of her, but she could have just as easily done a hand written letter with the father; both signed; and notarized it. It would have been just as legal when proving "intent". But alas; we don't know what was actually written; nor do we know who signed what.
 
IF, a big IF here; the family plan has a place for the father to actually sign and "Accept" custody and responsibility, along with power of attorney for the child to utilize military medical benefits and such, then it can very well be used as a contract that the court can/may use.
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One would think so but that is up to the Judge. All Dad has to do is say he changed his mind. Read to the bottom of the article I posted today - quite a few examples of parents being granted "temporary" custody, going after and winning full custody.
 
Another reason to keep all our soldiers/sailors/airmen home; and send ALL THE LAWYERS off to war. Most states would hold it as an agreement/contract. But I agree, that there are some states out there that have no respect whatsoever for agreements or contracts that are in writing.
 
^^^ :shake::shake::shake::shake:

I can see it now, not one bullet would ever be fired because they would be sending paperwork back and forth, and military members would never be able to understand the ROE
 
Christcorp;
"you can not be that dense" Thats no way to start a post, you don't want to put the addressee on the defensive right at the beginning or they will not hear anything else you have to say. you should work up to calling someone dense. you will learn this with time.

You stated that I mischaracterized Spec4 Mendoza. You can not know that without a doubt unless you know her personally so that is your opinion not a fact.

You stated that a signed family care plan is a binding legal document therefore admissible in court as such.
several other posters seem to disagree as do some family court judges who have ruled that family law trumps the federal law protecting service members. I'm not a lawyer but isn't that called precedence. perhaps if mother and father had gone to a social services office a document and maybe Even assistance in completing it. would have provided a document that could not be challenged in a NJ family court. Nah the good old one size fits all U.S. govt form worked fine.

CC you are so quick to jump on the bandwagon to support the majority in any discussion.

FACTS: Unless you are there at the moment something happens you will not know beyond the shadow of doubt that it is a fact.
what you are referring to as facts are the interpretation of the opinion of a journalist/author, then throw in editing for space and changes for marketability, by that time you not only need to read the lines you need to read between the lines, hell even the margins. and then use your mind to form your opinions as to the facts. The things I post are my opinions on what I see as facts.
CC If my thoughts, observations and opinions cause you distress. well TOUGH!!! hop back on your PC horse and keep riding.
I was once told that i possessed the tact and diplomacy of a 16 pound bowling bowl. I took that as a compliment.
 
Specialist Mendoza, whose family lives out of state, said she ended her relationship with Mr. Llares before she and other members of the 3rd Battalion of the 112th Field Artillery unit left for Texas in July 2008, bound for Iraq. Despite the breakup, the couple agreed that she would help Mr. Llares and his parents pay for Elizabeth’s needs while overseas and assume joint custody once she returned home.

But things quickly fell apart. The first time Elizabeth was reunited with her mother, she burst into tears. Specialist Mendoza cried, too.

Mr. Llares, also 22, declined to be interviewed, but his lawyer acknowledged that he restricted Specialist Mendoza’s visits with Elizabeth because he was concerned that the abrupt change would frighten and confuse her. “He wants her to have a close relationship with her mother,” Ms. Lefkowitz said, “but he wants an appropriate transition.”

Specialist Mendoza argued with Mr. Llares, trying to get more time with their daughter, and when she threatened to have him fired from his job at a Y.M.C.A., he filed a temporary restraining order, which a judge later dropped. Specialist Mendoza and Master Sgt. Minnie Hiller-Cousins, the counselor who helped Specialist Mendoza draft her family care plan, asked the military’s Judge Advocate General’s Corps to provide legal help, to no avail. Specialist Mendoza said she hired a lawyer and had spent $6,000 on legal fees so far.

Ms. Lefkowitz said that Mr. Llares should be granted primary custody, citing his devotion to Elizabeth while her mother was overseas. She also said that Mr. Llares worried that Specialist Mendoza could be deployed overseas again during the final two years of her National Guard duty.

But Specialist Mendoza said that if the military once again asked her to choose between her daughter and her country, she would not go.

“I’d try to get honorably discharged,” she said. “But I wouldn’t go through that again. And I wouldn’t put Elizabeth through that again.”


I realize we'll never know why they broke up before she deployed but, it might shed some light on the situation. To me, any parent that splits up a relationship months after having a child has issues. Another thing that bothers me is, she did have a restraining order (yes it was lifted) but some judge, somewhere, allowed it and there had to be a reason. I'm not taking either side of the story and then factor in that they are 22 years old???? Come on, they are both at fault, she more so than he IMVHO.
 
I was once told that i possessed the tact and diplomacy of a 16 pound bowling bowl. I took that as a compliment
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Got to know how you took that as a compliment?

As far as Ms. Mendoza, I just can't imagine how she can afford to pay those bills. She went to the guard to pay for college and now because she signed up with them she is in debt because of them.
 
tpg said:
Wow, I am another one of those that got a hug and a kiss at the base as your father went off to war. I too remember the reel of tapes that we got about once a month probably less, but I wish to keep the memory as more often than not. . I always looked forward to listening to them. He was a Navy Lt. when he left to go to NSA Danang in Aug of 65’.

Anyways Steve, we had counselors back then. They were mothers, grandmothers, neighbors, friends and other family members. While there was a three year period in the mid to late 60’s that I hated, I look back on that period now and think we did just fine…..
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Yep...you're exactly correct! I never really thought of them as "counselors" it was just "the family and community" but you're right! :thumb:

Steve
USAFA ALO
USAFA '83
 
First of all, hats off to the judge because his order was done properly...small steps.
National Guard specialist was granted daily visitation and weekly sleepovers with the 2-year-old girl by a judge in family court here on Tuesday.
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this allows them to re bond in a timely manner and not warp speed.

Second, this is what strikes me the most
After Elizabeth was born in June 2007, Specialist Mendoza and Mr. Llares lived with the baby at his parents’ home in Wayne, N.J. ...

Specialist Mendoza, whose family lives out of state, said she ended her relationship with Mr. Llares before she and other members of the 3rd Battalion of the 112th Field Artillery unit left for Texas in July 2008, bound for Iraq. Despite the breakup, the couple agreed that she would help Mr. Llares and his parents pay for Elizabeth’s needs while overseas and assume joint custody once she returned home, Specialist Mendoza said.
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She not only served her country, but since her family lived out of state she decided that it was important the father had contact, so she gave him rights. On top of that she sent child support.

He is a downright EXPLETIVE! I wonder if he wants custody for the paycheck...this guy is 22-23 still living at home, which means in house babysitter and is getting child support, while he tried to deny her parental rights.


SICK SICK SICK
 
perhaps this will end well. I have a feeling the boyfriend will slink back under whatever rock he existed under. This is just a feeling, I can't back it up with written facts.
sounds like this thread has ran it's course and is done.

PIMA; I take my compliments where I can find them also if someone insults you and you can take it as a compliment and thank them, it really ticks them off.

I'm glad this problem seems to be working out. I was going to suggest the King Solomon solution. If I lost anyone with the last comment check the Book of Kings, Old testament for further clarification :thumb:
 
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