Parents Present? Not Present for I-Day?

Discussion in 'Air Force Academy - USAFA' started by nbbgolfcmdr, Feb 21, 2010.

  1. nbbgolfcmdr

    nbbgolfcmdr USAFA Cadet

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey guys. I'm just wandering if I could get as many different opinions as possible -- both Cadets and Parents of Cadets.

    I've been reading through some of the threads, and some people say "it was easier without my parents there at I-Day." I've gone to certain programs where there is an "intense" atmosphere out-of-state, and have flown by myself or with a friend. No problem. I know I'll see my parents in a couple of weeks.

    But now my parents say that they want to be there, and according to their research, there will be close to 100% of parents there. They want to be present, but I'm thinking that I get "into the zone" better if I travel by myself. That's how I've always worked.

    Do you guys think that it'll be different for I-Day? Now, I know it's different. But do you think it's legit if an Appointee wants to go by themselves, or should I just let my parents come so that they can have "whatever closure they want?"

    Any input would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Stealth_81

    Stealth_81 Super Moderator Moderator Founding Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2006
    Messages:
    1,664
    Likes Received:
    516
    Our son wanted to go by himself. He felt that it would give him time to prepare for being under the pressure that he knew was coming on I-day. He was very logical about it and told us how he felt. We were happy to let him do what he wanted, and we said our goodbyes at the airport in Green Bay.

    We have never had any regrets about not being there on I-day. We let him make the decision and were happy to abide by it. I think that the choice is really going to depend on each situation individually, but in my opinion the cadet appointee should have the final say.

    Stealth_81
     
  3. Mom22gals

    Mom22gals Parent

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2009
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    1
    As most will say...it really needs to be up to you...we did go to Iday with d...we made a vacation of it the week prior and then dropped her off at AOG about 9 am.....she was ok with us going with her and we made sure it was her decision...we had a fun vacation before hand and then off she went....I think she will tell you Iday was a blur and she simply said goodbye we gave a quick hug and up the stairs she went....

    we hung out and waited for her to get on the bus....and then we went off to lunch....I must say there were no tears on my end nor did my husband or other d get teary at any time while we were with my d.....

    after lunch we went up to the chapel and amazingly there were many parents there....we did spot our girl waiting in a line and saw her walking across the T-ZO with her HUGE duffel bag....

    and like many say if your parents do go with you encourage them to stick around for the swearing in....we were able to watch this and again spotted our girl in fact in her first letter to us she said she saw us at the swearing in....

    above all though I would say it needs to be your decision as this is your journey and what is right is really what is right for you!!!

    Best of Luck to you!!!
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2010
  4. SAMom

    SAMom Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    9
    Best advice if you can go than go there will be things he will want like food or a drink or a nice place to sit if you have to choose between that or parents weekend than by all means choose parent weekend!!!
     
  5. CadCandMateus

    CadCandMateus Recent Grad

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Messages:
    600
    Likes Received:
    13
    if you get more into the zone without them, go by yourself. Your parents can come for parent's weekend. I came without parents, my brother left for enlisted basic by himself.


    It's up to you.
     
  6. shortbread945

    shortbread945 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2009
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think it also depends on your parents and how they'll react. I know that my parents would (despite their disagreement) cry if they were to go to I-day with me. Personally I am already slightly worried about them and how they're going to handle me being gone and this would just be emphasized if I saw them crying. Having the night to adjust rather than standing there wanting to console them seems like a much better plan to me. I think not having my parents there will be one less distraction. So it seems to me like it would be a decision based on parent and cadet reactions in the situation.
     
  7. dtkdarnoc

    dtkdarnoc Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2009
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    2
    parent perspective

    We went out and made a vacation of it. Frankly, the time we spent before I-Day was much more stressful and somewhat teary-eyed with old friends/kids/etc.

    What made it easy for us was how excited kid seemed to get on with it. He was very ready to go "up the stairs". As a parent, it was comforting to know that he was in someone else's hands, and it was good to hang out with other parents who were there.

    I think this is somewhat overblown, because whatever happens before you go up the stairs becomes a distant memory within a couple hours, we are told! :wink:
     
  8. eagle36

    eagle36 USAFA Alumnus

    Joined:
    May 5, 2007
    Messages:
    295
    Likes Received:
    0
    ASK THE APPOINTEE!!!

    bottom line, each person is different. so ask the appointee what he wants and then honor it.

    personally, i didn't want my parents there. i wanted to have some time on my own to accept what i was getting into without having my mom cry as i rode away on the bus. i loved the bed and breakfast program. but again, each person is different.
     
  9. mdanderson

    mdanderson Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2009
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    0
    We ended up going, but our son would have been fine either way. The bed and breakfast program is a GREAT option as well!! In our case the good byes were toughest on the siblings, and honestly, I think it was more difficult to say goodbye after parents weekend. You need to do what is best for you. Your parents will understand that this is not about them if they do not they will learn that very, very quickly......
     
  10. SAMom

    SAMom Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    9
    Its a great time for the parents as well they get to see something truly amazing I wouldn't have traded it for the world and my son was thankful to have food from us lol!!!
     
  11. raimius

    raimius USAFA Alumnus

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2006
    Messages:
    2,241
    Likes Received:
    275
    It's a personal decision.

    1. I don't know the percentage of parents who attend I-day, but it is nowhere near 100%.
    2. Both options can work well.

    I chose to go by myself and do the Bed & Breakfast program. For me, that was the right choice. I said my goodbyes at the airport, the day before. I was picked up at the C-springs airport and spent the evening with an older grad, his wife, and another appointee. It worked great for me. That emotional decompression time between saying goodbye and I-day was very helpful to me. I wanted I-day to be 100% about doing well at the academy, without any distractions.

    You need to decide what will work better in your case.
     
  12. aggie83

    aggie83 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2008
    Messages:
    373
    Likes Received:
    5
    I would recommend saving your dollars and going to Acceptance Day (in addition to Parent's Weekend) instead. Your cadet will be SO glad to see you then since BCT would be over. You will have about 2 hours to spend eating a picnic lunch with your cadet and helping carry stuff that he can now have back to his dorm. That is when we took alot of stuff to our cadet (printer, new boxers, large external monitor, camera, snacks for his room, etc.). If there was anything (which there was not in his squadron) that they are not allowed to have yet, they can just put them up on a shelf and not use them until allowed. I know our cadet took back his new Boze computer speakers we gave him for Christmas but can't use them till after recognition.

    Our cadet flew to Colorado Springs on the airline ticket provided by the AFA and did the AOG B&B program. It is a great program, and the participants know the timelines for getting the cadets there for In-Processing (in fact, alot are professors at the Academy). I think it costs $10 to signup. The B&B host will pick up your cadet at the airport, feed them dinner, and host them for the night, and then take them to In-Processing.

    Also, the AOG website has a link to information about the B&B program. It states they serviced over 450 cadets (not counting the cadets that fly in on their own and decided to stay in a hotel - buses will run to come pick them up from some hotels and take them to the AFA). Here is a link to the B&B program:

    http://www.usafa.org/for-parents/Inprocessing.aspx
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2010
  13. SALTY007

    SALTY007 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2009
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    0
    I-Day

    We shall be attending our Daughter's I-Day...wouldn't miss it for the world...and we have her approval to come :smile:
    But, like everyone has already posted...everyone has different preferences...there is no right or wrong..to go or not to go....but be sure its what you all agree upon.
     
  14. Texas2013

    Texas2013 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    It really should be up to the appointee. In our case, I (mom) stayed at home and said goodbye at the airport but my husband traveled to COS with our son. They went out a week early and made a father-son vacation out of it then headed to USAFA on I-Day. My husband stuck around a good part of the day and was able to see our son several times including at swearing in.

    I highly recommend that parents plan to go to Parent's Weekend. It was a blast. We were so excited to see our son and he appreciated us for coming. He had lots of stories to share and enjoyed eating and relaxing with all of us. It was a wonderful weekend. Bottom line - it's an individual decision and the appointee should have final say. I knew I would be a crying mess if I went to I-Day and that would not have been fair to our son.

    Best of luck to you! It's the beginning of a great journey!
     
  15. Lilly

    Lilly Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2008
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    19
    I-Day for us was breakfast at the hotel, make sure you've got it all, check out of the hotel, drive to USAFA, check in at the tent, go into the AOG building, mill around a little looking at the booths set up - most of which we had seen at orientation.

    All the while I was watching my son for any signs of nerves, fear, trepidation. All I saw was determination and impatience - he was ready to head up the stairs.

    We spoke briefly with a colonel about any last minute advice, he looked the boy up and down, leaned in and said, "Hit the ground running."

    A big hug, "I'm proud of you, I love you, do your best." Up the stairs he went...

    My tears came on the drive back to Denver. :redface:

    There were some blubbery separations that must have been at least a little difficult for the soon-to-be cadet, so I'd say it really is your call, if Mom and/or Dad melting down would mess with your head... say your goodbyes at home and get your attitude set on the journey.

    But, if you think your parents can keep it together, it will be an experience they will never, ever forget. :thumb:
     
  16. rkrosnar

    rkrosnar Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2010
    Messages:
    676
    Likes Received:
    16
    Parants Present? Not Present

    You are truly an adult and it is your decision. But you need a support system, which includes you family, Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother. I do not know your case.

    Thank you for your service to our Country
    God Speed and Good luck,

    RGK
     
  17. sterling

    sterling Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2008
    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    0
    We attended and while it is your choice, I would encourage you to allow your parents to take part. It is the start of your new life but it is also a means for them to feel the support structure of the Academy and the other parents who are now their "new family". Letting go is hard but was made much easier by being in this setting. While our son did not state a preference the "last hug" he gave to his mother reinforced the decision that he was glad we came along.
     
  18. CranoOrden

    CranoOrden Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2008
    Messages:
    72
    Likes Received:
    0
    My logic:

    1) I go alone and it costs one plane ticket and like 40 bucks for the bed and breakfast program.

    OR:

    2) Parents come with me and it costs three tickets, plus a hotel room, plus a rental car, plus more food, gas, etc. My parents would have been willing to pay that much had I asked, but it seemed, not sure the right word, illogical?

    For having to say goodbye like 24 hours earlier, it saved a lot of money. Plus it got me the best sponsor family with the one of my best friends who I inprocessed with and met way long ago back in summer seminar.
     
  19. flieger83

    flieger83 Super Moderator Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2008
    Messages:
    2,852
    Likes Received:
    343
    In my office, I have a picture of a VERY long haired guy that had just completed working on sailboats in Florida after finishing Northwestern Prep...at the overlook looking at Sijan Hall.

    That was early on June 25, 1979.

    Next to it is a picture of a bald guy in a badly fitting set of cadet blues (minus shoulderboards, not epaulets, but boards)...

    That was on the evening of June 25, 1979.

    BOTH were taken by my parents on the day I reported to USAFA.

    Next year when I retire, there will be a photo of me in my service dress, complete with the expensive cap with "farts and darts" on it...at the same overlook. And God willing, my father will take that picture; 32 years later.

    That will be my retirement picture.

    I can't think of a FINER gift from my parents.

    I would NOT have "done as well" if they'd NOT been there.

    Steve
    USAFA ALO
    USAFA '83
     
  20. fencersmother

    fencersmother Founding Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2007
    Messages:
    2,580
    Likes Received:
    800
    We went to Orientation on a mini vacation, and our guys were ok with going to I-Day alone. Nowhere near 100% of parents will be there, so don't feel like you must go.

    It was the hardest day of my life to put my babies on that plane at 6 a.m. But it was the beginning of their biggest adventure.
     

Share This Page