Plebe Summer - First Phone Call on Sunday July 11th

following your instincts

Blackhawkmom,
I'm so happy your son has his meds and that things were straightened out with the help of the chaplain that you contacted. You don't need me to tell you this, but following your mom instincts was the right thing to do. These instincts are tied to this DS. I have two DD. If placed in the same situation as you, one would have wanted me to make that call, and the other would not want me to make that call. The DD who wouldn't want me to make the call would have been grateful that I did because in the end two positive things happened: the meds were received and the assumptions and misunderstandings uncovered. Isn't it GREAT to know that he didn't continue the thought process of "t"ing out based on the things that were uncovered!!!

My husband asked me why he didn't get a chit to go get his meds. I said I don't know! I told him that I thought he didn't go get his meds because it would mean separation from his squad. What did I know. He said, "No, it wouldn't!" Okay, so now we know why having a parent who was a graduate of one of the military schools is a plus, as far as beating the attrition rate.

My question is, where should DS have acquired this information- getting a chit to pick up meds. I'm sure there are many useful pieces of information that could help a plebe, midshipman and parent. Is there a manual or website. ???

My daughter who is a 2015 candidate keeps saying, "Mom, what are you doing on that forum. I MIGHT NOT even get in!?" (high pitched and slightly angry voice) I respond by saying, I'm learning in-case you do get in. (her response- upset sounds of aggravation) - Yup, she's the one who wouldn't want me to make that call, but if her USNA graduate dad couldn't give her the answers she needed; I would have called the chaplain. I think the chaplain is there for DS and DD to decide whether the situation warrants his attention or not. I don't think he is there to rescue the DS or DD. Thank God for chaplains!:thumb:

High-five and hugs,
Proud Mom
 
Mongo said:
But I will guarantee you that the detailer knew it was a federal offense and I seriously doubt that a 1st class midshipmen would have risked the chance of violating it.

Beyond, the obvious such as wearing a uniform properly, marching, and a few other basic military events, the purpose of Plebe Summer is to accomplish three tasks. First is to break the ties of dependence and allow oneself to stand on their own two feet. Second is to teach the importance of teamwork. Thirdly, to teach priorities. How to establish them and how to live with the consequences of their decisions. No one who cannot stand on his own two feet and think independently can become an effective Naval Officer. Also, if one cannot be a team player he cannot be an effective member of the Navy team. If he cannot establish priorities, he will probably never survive the Academy experience. In the recent past, with the deemphasis of all things “Plebe” during the academic year, a greater demand has probably been placed on the detailers to drive these concepts home during the very short summer session.

What is done is done. Back in the day, we were told on I-Day to look to our left and then look to our right. One of the three of us would not be there at graduation. Much of this attrition happened Plebe Summer. My first roommate lasted two weeks. Two person rooms back then. His replacement lasted a couple more. Like Memphis, I am still in a 12 step recovery program. My Plebe Summer was not easy. My son had a difficult Plebe Summer. The concept of teamwork totally evaded him. I knew this and did everything possible, short of sneaking out to the mailbox and tearing up his application, of dissuading him from attending. I would have been livid had my mom called the Chaplain. My son would still not be talking to me had I done the same. For someone who is making progress, who has no intentions to give up, his phone calls were simply venting or perhaps even looking for a little sympathy. I will almost guarantee the day will come that he will resent the interference. And it definitely did nothing for his ‘education’.

And your phone calls will change once your mid realizes that you have violated the trust he expected. There will be fences to mend.

Just the opinion of a "Vet" of all the three levels being discussed here.
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I totally agree with Mongo's perspective on this.

No matter how seemingly unfair, I don't think a parent should get involved. There are just too many "eyes" on these detailers for things to get completely out-of-control.

I'm guessing EVERYTHING known about this situation comes directly from the Plebe's perspective - all from a single phone call - correct? Sometimes Plebes tend to exaggerate their misery, as Mongo says, looking for a little sympathy.

I can't say that there is never a time calling the academy, as a parent, regarding the treatment of their midshipman, would be inappropriate - but, offhand, I can't think of one. I know I wouldn't have wanted my parents to call.
 
Personally, there really is no reason for a parent to get involved by calling the Dant or the Chaplains, ok maybe the chaplain if you need some counseling yourself, but never the Dants office . You may not believe this but Plebe summer is just as hard on the firsties as on your plebes. We are watched for everything that we do with the plebes and I certainly doubt that has changed from last summer to this one. We take this very seriously and again doubt that there are any who are on "power trips" The Company Officer and mostly likely the Sr Enlisted would be all over that detailer.

Not getting mail - there are a lot of reasons why mail is not picked up on a daily basis - Squad leaders go and pick up the mail- if we have been over on the O course and late getting back there just isn't time. We have a schedule that has to be followed and when that goes south things have to go by the wayside and mail pickup is typically one of the things that gets postponed. No plebe has ever died from not getting mail. Trust me your plebes really don't miss it as most don't even have time to read the letters! I remember when I was a Plebe actually having unopened letter that I quickly read before PPW so not to get busted by mom.

If Plebes need to know something ask a shipmate - yes they really are allowed to talk to one another. If your shipmates don't know ask your squad leader or even the Sr Enlisted. They are going to answer legitimate questions.

Thank goodness there is no manual on the web for parents, mids or future Plebes to memorize. First and foremost Mids already get what they need and don't need a manual before even becoming a Plebe. Parents may not like it but there are many things that should stay in the hall - plain and simple mom and dad have no need to know. For most of the brigade, and I will say probably 95%, we hate it when the parent rumor mill thinks that they know what is going on and then actually asks us about it when we may not have even heard whatever the rumor of the day is. The worst is the parent list serv with their little caveat about not forwarding the message to your mid. LOL many of us have ways to get on the list serv and see everything that is being posted. That was the one request that I had with my parents - under no circumstances were they to post anything. If they had a question - ask ME - it involves ME and I should be the one providing the answer not some other parent who has no clue and half the time provides wrong information. Imagine the horror for those mids at last spring break whose parent posted where their kiddos were headed for SB. Would you like your personal business being spread all over a chat forum? I think not.

Think before you get involved but more so TRUST your Plebe to solve their own problems. They will appreciate you allowing them to grow.
 
CurrentMid said:
Imagine the horror for those mids at last spring break whose parent posted where their kiddos were headed for SB. Would you like your personal business being spread all over a chat forum? I think not.
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Very good points by CurrentMid. Personally, I have been amazed by the posts by parents on the USNA Facebook page as well as on the two Dropshots pages - commenting about their plebes and adding all sorts of personal info. Read through the discussions on the USNA Facebook discussions page - whoa!!! :eek: We're talking real names and companies, not the somewhat anonymous format of a forum like this. My plebe would kill me. Seriously.
 
noted -and noted. i agree with mongo on a lot of things and currentmid i agree with a lot of your points also. what is done is done right or wrong -if my DS hates me for it -he will get over it just as he will get over pink eye and plebe summer. i have decided if you as a plebe and you as a parent can live through plebe summer you can live through almost anything. we are told that under no circumstances to call the academy and you would have to be an idiot to call the dant-but if you are not to call a chaplin in a medical situation then they should be told by the dant not to hand out cards. Nor tell us at I-Day if there is ever a situation you fell you need to talk to someone about call me. It will in no way effect you plebe and that is my role at the academy. Truth discipline integrity and honor. If we can't call them and they say to call them then the first professional experience you have on I day is the first misconduct of that academy's leadership. true story-a friend of mine is a retired marine. he didn't write home for over a month-Grandma called her congressman--congressman called someone-that someone got word to his commanding officer Gma wasn't happy and to write home. did he catch it and have to pay the price -yep is it his fondest memory of Gma -yep--------
 
^^^Yup. Got tracked down by a Red Cross Rep in 70 in SEA. Had to go on a MARS link at 2300 to talk to Mom. Couldn't convince Mom to say "over" after every sentence. Long story but funny now. Moms are strange about those things. USO was a lot better.
 
Yes the chaplains do tell you that you can call. I think that CurrentMid was just saying that maybe parents should think long and hard about why they are calling before doing so. If it is to ease their minds then by all means, if it is to check up on a mid, just be real sure that they need to be looked after. As far as the Dants office - apparently that is happening too. Not just a rumor but has been confirmed.

Personally, I do think that the 30 minute phone calls are just a bad idea. Did that start last year because they were 5 minutes for 8,9,10, 11 and I think 12. 5 minutes is just long enough to not let the b**ching and moaning start that allows parents to feed off of. All three of our phones calls for class of 10 were 5 minutes with the Cadre counting the minutes in the background. The conversation was not asking questions but just listening to him tell us things like I validated this, scored this on rifles, hate pep, love sailing, don't like recruited team coach think I am going to quite after PS, lost weight, like Catholic Mass better because they have the better donuts afterward (yes true!) Even a fairly quiet kid just runs at the mouth.

For funny stories on calling to take care of our johnny's and susies - I am good friends with the Provost of a major university. Provosts basically run the institution - like the Dant. A mother called this individual - and complained that DD didn't get into the Sorority of her liking and could he call and get her in. That poor girl had no clue that she was now rather well known in the Presidents office!
 
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