Plebe Summer - First Phone Call on Sunday July 11th

Oh and to J-A-mom--no offense taken -son has never quit anything in his life. He knows the leadership and the commitment involved in this wonderful opportunity. He also knows what a huge decision it is to get there and or to stay and he knows the commitment involved . Thank God he has a brain big enough to ask questions now than to wait four years and go "woops i changed my mind this is not the path for me." Many kids go to many colleges leave -flunk out -or realize it was the wrong decision for them. It can happen to any kid anywhere. Do we want him to stay yes-but they shouldn't stay for anyone but themselves if there is anything wrong it would be to stay for all the wrong reasons that in the end would do no one justice. Part of this growing up leaving home thing is to make their own decisions we can not live their lives for them it would be sad to think he would commit 9 years of his life doing what someone else wanted him to do and worrying about someone else being disappointed in him instead of what he wanted for himself. All we can do is encourage and support them-we were told on i-day they are not ours anymore and they are adults and are to make their own decisions. Since we can not talk to them I just hope the counselors are adult enough to handle these situations especially if they dont know the plebes personality and maturity level.
 
As for me - I made a commitment to only myself..and my son... - My son is a capable, strong, polite, to me, exemplary young man. If he should decide that the Academy is not for him - fine with me. BUT - and this is big - You MUST complete the plebe year - if only for you. Dad and I don't care about the money. We only care about you. HOWEVER - once you complete the plebe year, you will be in a much better place to evaluate your options.

Don't get me wrong. It just about tore my heart out today to not want to wrap my baby up in my arms like when he was small....but, HE chose this, I figure it's up to me to be supportive and send mail. I can't even begin to understand what he's going through, but this is HIS journey....not mine. My time has come and gone...What else would get me onto Facebook?

Prayers going out to all plebes and ESPECIALLY their parents!
 
Quick question - my son somehow got blood on his cover and clothes and is asking for something to take it out - I already sent a Tide pen and Shout wipes so am not sure what to send.....any suggestions?

I'm sure he's getting yelled at for bleeding on "government property"...Also, he got his care packages but asked for no more,,,,I don't think that's a good sign..do they get singled out for mail? (Okay - no response necessary - the answer is YES!)
 
Blackhawkmom - you know your kid better than anyone, but you said it yourself - many kids leave civilian colleges after the first year. They find out it is not the right fit, maybe the major they were interested in isn't what they pictured, etc. But those kids usually transfer to another school AFTER Freshman year. Fortunately we had a good first phone call today, but we were ready for a bad one. Had a script to encourage to stick it out into the first semester and, if leaving was still on the table, we would work together on transfer applications over Christmas break. As for the money, it is a loan, so reasonable monthly payment plans can be worked out. Good luck to you and your Plebe - here;s hoping we read that he's reconsidered after the next phone call on the 25th.
 
Phone Call

Our plebe is in Company D also. He is coming along but I agree with some of the others. I get the impression from what I am reading that it is a particularly difficult company - but it is hard to compare. I do know that new detailers will be coming on in a couple of weeks. I can also tell you that I know of an Officer or two who hated plebe summer but stuck it out and were happy they did. BlackHawkMom, my prayers are with you. And whatever decision he makes, he will find the right place.
 
nfugleberg said:
As for me - I made a commitment to only myself..and my son... - My son is a capable, strong, polite, to me, exemplary young man. If he should decide that the Academy is not for him - fine with me. BUT - and this is big - You MUST complete the plebe year - if only for you. Dad and I don't care about the money. We only care about you. HOWEVER - once you complete the plebe year, you will be in a much better place to evaluate your options.
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I would take that one step further. To be fair, I think a midshipman should, at least, complete his Youngster year.

Plebe year can be pretty miserable. Making one's assessment of Naval Service based solely on their United States Naval Academy Plebe year experience is not a very educated (or fair) assessment, in my opinion.
 
To Blackhawkmom & nfugleberg & any other mom/dad out there that got a not so "positive" phone call...

I think every plebe at one point and time questioned their decision, thought about Tango, thought about quitting - some will not admit it but I'm positive the thought crossed their mind. Hopefully your DS/DD have great roommates that will encourage them when they are down...I remember one of my roommates really wanted to quit, but me and my other roommate would encourage her, helped her get squared away, and she stuck it out through plebe summer.

Encourage them to stick it out...they should be getting a new set of detailers soon and then before they know it it's PPW and Plebe Summer is over. Then move into their companies and meet the Brigade.

I know the memorizing is ridiculous and it seems "stupid" at the time, along with all the other "silly" things they do like uniform races, and such...it really all does have a purpose. Someday they WILL understand WHY they went through all that crap.
 
nfugleberg said:
Quick question - my son somehow got blood on his cover and clothes and is asking for something to take it out - I already sent a Tide pen and Shout wipes so am not sure what to send.....any suggestions?

I'm sure he's getting yelled at for bleeding on "government property"...Also, he got his care packages but asked for no more,,,,I don't think that's a good sign..do they get singled out for mail? (Okay - no response necessary - the answer is YES!)
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Depending on how big the stain is and where it is, he might try being creative and try some whiteout, or white paint marker/pen. Just a suggestion. As far as not wanting any more care packages...he probably has enough food. They don't get singled out for mail, unless it smells like perfume or something...

Oh and DS/DD means Dear Son or Dear Daughter
 
osdad said:
Said the food was just barely edible - but they eat it nonetheless. Wants a nice seafood dinner during PPW (any suggestions? We've only ever been to the Chart House).

Made D&B - so will be doing that most days. They sold it by mentioning that next year Navy plays ND in Ireland and D&B gets to go.
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A popular place, that will most likely be packed PPW, but is close to the Yard is Buddy's http://www.buddysannap.com/ I'm sure you can hit up Red Lobster near the Annapolis Mall too.

Congrats on D&B - it's a great gig, I was in D&B and loved it...and if you keep your grades up you get some great trips.
 
Best piece of advice my DS got from a former SEAL-find and make 5 friends and then make a pact that everyone makes it through together so that they work as a team and support each other. All 5 got through.
 
Oh and to J-A-mom--no offense taken -son has never quit anything in his life.
I didn't think so, why would he want to quit this now? Before he has given it a chance?
He knows the leadership and the commitment involved in this wonderful opportunity. He also knows what a huge decision it is to get there and or to stay and he knows the commitment involved .
If he fully understands then he should know his assessment is premature.
Thank God he has a brain big enough to ask questions now than to wait four years
He does NOT have to wait four years. Have you both forgotten that one can separate anytime before the start of the third year with no commitment?
and go "woops i changed my mind this is not the path for me." Many kids go to many colleges leave -flunk out -or realize it was the wrong decision for them. It can happen to any kid anywhere. Absolutely! Most of the time the parents cave in too early IMO. They are more concerned with their child's immediate 'happiness' than their own personal growth.
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blackhawkmom - Perhaps you should ask your son why he went in the first place.
Also recognize the weather on the East coast last week was record setting heat and humidity. It was extremely oppressive - enough to make anyone not be able to think clearly.
His reasoning about owing money for issued items seems a bit faulty to me. He begins paying off those items immediately and at the end of the year, he will have accumulated over a year's worth of college credit, for free.
As a parent, listening to this convoluted logic is difficult. Perhaps he is looking for your 'permission' to stay - what would he say if you told him not to worry about the money? How will he pay for college if he quits now?

I have heard quite a few stories from parents and kids who left early, over the past few years. In every case those who leave during the summer, admit they didn't want to be there but they were 'caught up' in all the excitement of receiving the appointment and did not fully consider the ramifications of their decision.
 
blackhawkmom said:
Uniforms and computers and everything else he would have to pay back if he stays til the end of summer then leaves.
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Fact or fiction?

Not sure what the policy is now that they don't have to pay the upfront money.
 
USNA'02 said:
To Blackhawkmom & nfugleberg & any other mom/dad out there that got a not so "positive" phone call...

I think every plebe at one point and time questioned their decision, thought about Tango, thought about quitting - some will not admit it but I'm positive the thought crossed their mind. Hopefully your DS/DD have great roommates that will encourage them when they are down...I remember one of my roommates really wanted to quit, but me and my other roommate would encourage her, helped her get squared away, and she stuck it out through plebe summer.

Encourage them to stick it out...they should be getting a new set of detailers soon and then before they know it it's PPW and Plebe Summer is over. Then move into their companies and meet the Brigade.

I know the memorizing is ridiculous and it seems "stupid" at the time, along with all the other "silly" things they do like uniform races, and such...it really all does have a purpose. Someday they WILL understand WHY they went through all that crap.
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02 and many others have some excellent advice and perspective:

Your plebe sons & daughters are going through a unique experience in their lives, they are also seriously failing at something for the first time in their lives. Also, for the first time mom & dad are not there to tell them they are ok, and kiss the boo boo's away. Some of them are very homesick right now. To say they are under stress is a massive understatement. It's something every plebe has to get through and over 98%+ will make it though plebe summer.

The parents phone calls during plebe summer and especially during the AC year are massive stress relievers to your plebe. They can say things to you and vent to you about things and people in their lives that they cannot do to anyone else on the yard. You may have just gotten a rough call from your plebe. As parents you are concerned and frustrated that there is nothing you can do except worry. As an experienced USNA parent I can tell you that within about 2 minutes of hanging up with you, your plebe feels better because they had a chance to vent and has put the "issues" in the back of his/her mind because the Detailers have provided a new task that requires 100% attention to detail. When that next phone call comes don't be surprised if they have forgotten about most of the things they complained about in the first call.

If your plebe is struggling the best advice I can give is continue to give encouragement and break time into manageable chunks. For plebe summer the goal is make it to PPW. Now that you made it to PPW let's see how the AC year goes. Let's evaluate at Thanksgiving. Then stretch to Christmas and the first semester is over. Let's go forward with the second semester and the next break is Spring Break. Made it to spring break lets finish the semester. Hey the semester is over and you are no longer a plebe, let's see how the start of youngster year goes.
 
For what its worth our Mid at PPW 4 years ago, had a good cry, said I don't know about this etc and then decided to go back and give AC year a try.
Graduated last May, going to Pensacola and happy as can be about it.
 
Worst call I got was about a month into AC year:

Picked up the phone and heard - Dad? - 3 seconds of air being sucked in.... ( if you have ever been a parent , you know what is about to happen) and then a wail and about 20 seconds of sobbing. ( all my dad instints kicked in and I'm ready to buy a plane ticket and kill me some Firsty's for making my baby cry.)

After calming down, it was just a series of frustrating events and a Firsty going out his way to rip apart something she had put about 20 hours worth of work into. She just had that moment and needed to vent. Spoke to her again the next day and all was well and life at the Academy was great.

That's just life on the USNA rollercoster.
 
Thanks Subvet! That's worth a LOT. We will keep in mind the advice given by you, MIDNDAD, USNA02 and many others. Got a good call this time, but who knows what the next weeks will bring!! Having an enlisted son, we've learned to take it day by day.
 
The worst is when they call home - burst into tears. Your a mess and all worried. Worry until you hear from them again and then they have totally forgotten about what ever they were upset about! The funny thing is that us parents never seem to learn that drill - we worry each time it happens.

My son had an awful I Day - wanted to go to Tango on IDAY! We saw no pictures of him on line for the first two weeks which made us worry even more. He spent the first week miserable and wanting to go to Tango and never looked back since that week. Like subvet's son - graduated last May. Loving TAD on the yard this summer, off the TBS in the fall and to flight school following TBS.

Needless to say, we were dreading the first phone call. That Sunday came and hesitantly I asked how it was going ... Great! done this, done that, send this, etc. My mood improved from pure panic to joy in the matter of one 5 minute phone call (with Cadre counting off the minutes in the background) You all are lucky to get 30 minutes - but then we had our perks for PPW and Herndon...
 
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