One Mom's thoughts on R-Day and Beast (West Point):
Whether or not to go is a personal decision. If distance and finances are a factor, and you have to choose between R-Day and A-Day then pick A-day.
If your New Cadet goes alone - he/she will be taken care of. Last summer a bunch of kids were 'stranded' at various airports because of bad weather. They all eventually arrived in good shape! Going alone, your child will be put up in a hotel and transported with other New Cadets. I think they process them through first before the kids with parents arrive. Academy staff takes pictures throughout the day and will post them and the Oath ceremony on the website for you to see.
R-Day - if you are close by, then go. It is a really neat experience and you can have a day to just visit the academy. Peruse all the displays in Ike Hall after the "90 second good bye". Go down stairs and you can pick up a card with your New Cadet's mailing address and Beast Company - this is important!!
If you write a letter you can mail it right away in Ike Hall. I mailed mine in the afternoon.
Knowing your New Cadets company will help you to find him/her when you go to the Oath Ceremony.
You can go watch the in-processing or not. My daughter didn't want me to (she had already spent a year in military school). The Catholic chapel had a Mass at Noon so I went. A lot of parents were there and Father Matt was so kind and loving. He is a West Point grad who went to the seminary after 5 years as an infantry officer. I saw him at Oath ceremony in his Army Green's and he has a Ranger tab. hard core.
Definitely go to the Superintendent's briefing. You will have plenty of time after the brief to get to Trophy Point for the parade and Oath.
During the summer - Very Important!!! GET A HOBBY!!!
Do not sit around all summer wondering what your New Cadet is doing now! Go do stuff, have fun and write and tell him about it - haha.
You will probably live from phone call to phone call. Discuss with your child which number he/she will call if they don't know your cell by heart they will probably call home. If parents are split, they will most likely have to pick one.
Your phone call may come early or late but it will come.
Letters - this varies. You may have a New Cadet who writes a lot or one who doesn't write at all. Either is normal. Mine wrote three letters - one was mandatory, one was while on quarters with an infection and one was a list of stuff to bring for A-day. Don't expect a novel - lol.
I wrote several times a week. She liked getting military jokes - esp those about other services. I found a Military motivator that made fun of another service and the cadre loved it.
Mail - last summer it was a while before they got their key - about a week or so. They will eventually get your mail - just keep writing.
Separation Anxiety - this occurs with Parents and New Cadets. For Parents - see my advice about getting a hobby. If you have younger children then do fun stuff with them and enjoy! Don't spend every second waiting and wondering.....Don't write everyday and tell your New Cadet how much you miss them! Act like life is normal and everyone is getting on just fine,
New Cadets - My daughter had spent a year away already so she wasn't homesick. Hence, she wrote very little -
My second letter was the second week and briefly told me how she had a nasty infection in her foot (cellulitus) from rucking with infected blisters - she had been to the hospital and they had IV'd her. She ended with if the swelling doesn't go down by tomorrow they will hospitalize me.
Then I heard nothing for 10 days until she called. I told her I was glad she was still alive. She had forgotten she had written to me.
Since she wasn't writing to me, I sent her musical cards. Lots of them! I figured if the cadre didn't like it and dropped her she would tell me. Turns out they loved them -
If your New Cadet is kept overnight in the hospital they will call you! They make them call you! If you don't hear from them - "No news is good news"!
If your New Cadet is homesick then he/she may write a lot. They may sound miserable, lonely and sad. Wait for the phone call and hear the tone of their voice. when they start telling you all the cool stuff they did then you know to disregard the whining in the letters.
They are like toddlers - remember when they screamed when you dropped them at the babysitters only to play happy when you drove away?
Allow your kids to vent to you - just don't take it all too seriously. Don't give advice! You can't help them - just listen and write back and tell them you are glad they are having so much fun!
Troubles - if there is a family emergency - i.e. death of a close family member, a parent is hospitalized etc. Call the TAC - they will get the news to your New Cadet. If bereavement leave is necessary it can be arranged.
Counseling - this is available and many New Cadets take advantage. Do not be alarmed if your New Cadet write this in a letter. It does not mean he/she is on the way out! Counselors and Chaplains are available for the asking.
(apologies for the long winded post!)
), I would write on computer paper onto which I scanned a picture of them with their friends, the dog, family, etc. Sometimes the cadre let them keep it, sometimes they took it from them. 
