Info for Incoming female candidates Part 2
III. Clothes
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Come to R-Day wearing something comfortable. Your favorite jeans and t-shirt are fine. Carry a sweatshirt or something similar. Don't be conspicuous, today is not the day to stand out. Leave the rest of your civvies at home, you’re not going to need them until the school year starts. I suggest packing 3-4 outfits in a small suitcase and leaving it at home. Have your parents bring it to A-Day or Labor Day weekend, or have them ship it out later. You’re going to want some civilian stuff for trip sections and stuff as a plebe, but you’re not going to need much of it.
***What to pack***
Something nice – your favorite little black dress, and appropriate accessories – purse, shoes, slip, stockings, the great necklace that goes with it, the cute barrettes that match the pattern, whatever. This is part of my “Be Prepared” motto, you never know when you’re going to need to dress up. Make sure it’s some that can go from summer to winter. Mine is a black jersey knit with a matching shell. Add a nice coat, and I’m good!
***Casual stuff***
Another pair of jeans, one of khakis, a collared shirt or two, your favorite t-shirts, a good sweater, some cold weather stuff. A set of pajamas. Two pairs of civilian shoes, nothing screams “CADET ON PASS” like a cute top, khakis, and running shoes. Accessories to go with. Basic makeup if truly necessary.
As far as I know, plebes won’t be able to wear earrings, jewelry, or makeup until after Christmas, so this is for going on trip sections, Plebe Parent Weekend if you’re the daring type, leaving for Thanksgiving and Christmas, Army/Navy, and whatever pass you choose to take. Make sure this can stretch across a few seasons, it’s going to be blazing hot over Labor day, and we’ll have at least a foot of snow by Christmas, so think in layers. You can get some nice stuff at the C-Store, and the PX has clothes too. Plus, if you join a few clubs, a lot of them include a trip to the mall wherever you’re going.
***Underwear***
Ok, I was pretty laid back in high school. White cotton undies and a few cute patterns. Now that it’s the ONLY thing I get to choose to wear every day, I’m a little more adventurous. However, I do wear a sports bra just about every day in uniform. One, it’s comfortable, and two, in a training environment the normal bra just isn’t practical. During Airborne we ran to and from the training area every day, and trained hard. You’ll be running a lot and doing physical activity outside of PT, so keep that in mind. Black, white, gray, or neutral. No orange, no blue, no red, no green, no neon pink. Not that anyone’s going to check, but if your PT shirt neck shifts, people may see your straps and they will correct you. Well, I would. I’m not so sure about male cadre.
Don’t send standard bras out in the laundry, ever. It’s really hard on them, and it’s awful to get them back stained and with the hooks destroyed. If you take normal bras to Beast, hand wash them in the sink, and hang them on the drying racks overnight. Hand washing stuff in your sink is a great way to keep up with clean laundry. I did towels, underwear, sports bras, t-shirts, shorts, and socks in my sink for all of Beast. At one point, I even washed my BDUs in my trash can. It only takes a few minutes, and just about everything will dry overnight on the drying racks in the latrines. Plus, you’ll smell Tide fresh while those who have run out of clean laundry will be hurting.
IV. Guys and Dating **Parents, be brave and open-minded**
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West Point is eighty-five percent male. I know a lot of you have no concept of this, so here are a few examples. The next time you go to class, sit down, look around at the other seventeen people in the room. Now, imagine yourself the only woman. Next time you get a B on a test, all the points you got, they have Y chromosomes. All the ones you missed? They don’t. Think of your closest ten friends. Are eight of them male? They are now. This can be fun. This can be scary. But it’s a fact here, and something everyone gets used to. First proverb of the post…The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
***Dating***
As a plebe, you’re allowed to date other plebes. I would suggest you not date within your company. It’s too easy to break the rules and get caught and get in some serious trouble. Also, if the two of you break up, it’s easier to move on when you don’t see each other and interact every day. I have seen this work out though, our company couple is getting married after grad, so YMMV.
***How to***
Plebes watch a lot of movies, go to sporting events or the plebe club, grab dinner together, and hang out. Join a club together and go on trip sections. Remember though, if the two of you break up, only one of you gets to keep the friends if you can’t be amicable.
***The Rules***
West Point has a lot of rules governing male/female interaction. PDAs, which include holding hands, hugs, and kissing hello are not allowed. In the barracks, if a guy and a girl are alone in a room together, the door has to be open ninety degrees. You can’t share the same horizontal surface. Before you even think, “oh, well, if we’re on the bed, and if I’m lying on top of him, he’s technically on the bed, and I’m technically not,” don’t even go there. Sex in the barracks is not allowed. Should you choose to indulge while on pass, or decide to take walking privileges into town and get a hotel room, practice preventive maintenance. Go see Dr. Yavorek at the Health Clinic and choose a birth control method. Grab some free condoms from the pharmacy or continue getting stuck with the Depo-Provera shot I mentioned earlier. Dr. Y also deals in the Nuva ring and several variety of the pill. She does not do IUDs or Norplant.
***Pregnancy***
If you get pregnant, you will be sent to a medical board and they will send you home on medical leave until you are no longer pregnant. This does happen, probably at least once a year. Some people go home and sign the child over to their parents after birth. Some people go to Planned Parenthood in Newburgh. I’m not going to touch what you should do, I’m just giving you some of the options that people I know have exercised. Dr. Y can also help you with this, and the counselors over at the Center for Personal Development are excellent.
***Roommates and Lady Casanovas (casanovettes?)***
At the beginning of the school year, set some guidelines with your roommates. If you’re comfortable with both of them sitting on her bed when you’re there, that’s fine. When someone knocks, he’d better move pretty quick though. If you’re not comfortable with her sitting on his lap while you’re in the room, say so. No one should ever put you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, especially in your own room. Remember, you can always take your books and go to the study room, or the library, or go visit other friends…which means the door has to be opened and all the Academy rules have to be followed. On the other hand, realize that letting them nap together might not be the best idea. If they get caught because your TAC NCO knocks and the door is opened before they’re both presentable and alert, you’re all going to get fried because you let it happen.
If you just want him to go away so you can have a chat with your roomdawg about their behavior, stretch, yawn, and mention a nap or going to bed if it’s late. He should take a hint, and she may go with him, but you can talk later. At that talk, renegotiate, and set up some new limitations if necessary. Mention her going to visit him if they spend excessive amounts of time in your room. Suggest that he always leave by ten, or some other acceptable time. If he drops by a lot when she’s not there, give him her class schedule. We have a saying…West Point is all about cooperation, because with three people in the room, you can shut the door. Cooperation works both ways. If they’re having a fight, pull out your headphones and kill some hearing cells. This gives them privacy not only from you but from the rest of the company. If you’re both dating and she’s not showing the same considerations you’re showing her, discuss that too. It may only be a semester, but plebes don’t choose their roommates and you may end up together again. It’s almost always better to talk out problems as they occur.
***Home team, away team***
Although some subscribe to “If they’re not in the same area code, it’s not cheating,” I don’t. If he has a girlfriend back home, step away and find someone else. The same goes for you. If you've still got a boyfriend back home, don't ditch him just because you're fishing in a bigger pool now. I really don't have any experience as a 2%er, but one of my girlfriends is, so I'll see if she can throw together a post about staying together for the whole 47 month experience.
***Frat***
As I mentioned earlier, plebes can date other plebes. Plebes cannot date upperclassmen, or, really, have any social interactions with them. If you’re in a club together, you can be friends when you’re doing club stuff. When you’re in the company area, doing duties or delivering laundry, you’re not friends. You’re a plebe, he or she is an upperclassman. Do not try to attract the attention of any upperclassmen. The upperclass women will see it and will deal with it in their own fashion. The male firsties are probably not interested…they want to graduate. The cows know that next year, you’ll be legal. The yearlings are your team leaders and should see you as protégées. However, there are an unscrupulous few who will actively seek out your company. Realize, though, that they are doing this because you are new and they have been turned down by every other female in the Corps. It is NOT a good idea to engage in frat. The consequences are rather severe. He will probably be stripped of his rank, and you will both be on the Area for a very long time. If he’s a good dude, remind him of these things, and that you’ll be around next year. He should understand and back off. After Buckner, consider the relationship again.