Second Thoughts

Discussion in 'Naval Academy - USNA' started by RedBull237, Apr 8, 2012.

  1. RedBull237

    RedBull237 Member

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    Is it possible to "reneg" if one has already sent in their acceptance? I'm wondering if it's possible and if it does in fact happen.

    If indeed possible, is it the regional director that must be informed of the second thought and change of heart? How soon?
     
  2. 1964BGO

    1964BGO Member

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    I would caution you to be absolutely certain that you want to withdraw before you contact USNA in that regard. Your withdrawal will be non-reversible if you discover you made a mistake in that action. Think it through, discuss it with your parents and others whose judgement you trust. There is no reason to rush to judgement and action at this time as there are about 2-1/2 months to I-day. If you are absolutely positive of your decision, so be it. Just have seen several candidates jump to conclusions and then realize they were over-reacting. Best wishes in your deliberations.
     
  3. RedBull237

    RedBull237 Member

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    Thanks 1964. Just having many thoughts at this point and not entirely sure about it and the lack of time at home. The 4 weeks in the summer, 2 for xmas, 1 for spring break, and 4 days or so for thanksgiving really make me wonder if I'm ready to dedicate my life to the Navy for these next 9 years and be able to be home with friends family and girlfriend for only not even 2 months each year is daunting.
     
  4. Navy Mom

    Navy Mom Member

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    RedBull237. PM sent your way
     
  5. usnabgo08

    usnabgo08 USNA 2008/BGO

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    Redbull, you should also consider longer term time commitments, as well. Once you are commissioned and assigned to a unit, deployments are normally between 6-12 months.
     
  6. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator

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    Not academy related but perhaps my DS's experience would be helpful. Junior year in High School he only wanted to consider in-state schools because he didn't want to be too far from home. Senior year he started considering out of state schools. Eventuallt his first choice became an out of state school only 3.5 hours away. He has a car and its not an unreasonable weekend trip. However he only came home for Thanksgiving, Christmas and a part of spring break. He loves his school and his independence and has such a great time with his many new friends that he has no desire to come home for a weekend. If he could stay there through the summer he would do that too. Don't be surprised to find your experience will be the same regardless of where you go to college. You maintain contact with home via phonecalls, Facebook, Texting and emails. Everyone will still be in your heart and you in theirs.
     
  7. RedBull237

    RedBull237 Member

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    This is a great point and I have considered this as well, and am truly soul-searching to see if this is something I can be passionate about and want to do. I want to make sure it is the correct choice.

    @Kinnem--I'm in college, 6 hour drive away from home. I have no problem keeping up with family through texting, phone, webcam chat etc. And I find myself wanting to come back sooner than breaks are over as well. I think my issue is moreso my happiness and passion to actually DO everything. Even though I go to school somewhat far away, I still come home for ridiculous amounts of time in the winter and summer. I just don't know if i'll enjoy the 24/7-ness of the academy and not being able to come back to my real life for more than a few weeks each year.

    I want to make it there, I don't want to go and leave. I've put so much effort into it that now once the appointment has come and I accepted, I have positive thoughts sometimes, and negative thoughts other times. I'm just not 100%.
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2012
  8. usna1985

    usna1985 USNA Alumnus

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    FWIW, I was as close to my parents as any child. And, during my time at USNA and in the USN (and even after), I remained close even though I wasn't at home most of the time.

    Consider that just like baby birds need to leave the nest, so do humans. In some ways, I was actually closer to my parents after I left b/c I had a greater appreciation for all they'd done and a greater appreciation for the time we spent together -- nearly all of my leave was spent with my parents. However, as an adult, I also needed my "space," as we called it in those days. I needed to live on my own and my parents realized that.

    You're absolutely right to give this a lot of thought. It's a big decision. And USNA may not be right for you. But, as '64 said, take your time. I'm sure you'll make the right decision.
     
  9. kinnem

    kinnem Moderator

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    Understood. Sounds like your giving it the proper level of thought. There is no right decision, only what's right for you. Good luck with your process. :thumb:
     
  10. neugs

    neugs USNA 2015 Appointee

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    RedBull237,

    I was in the same exact boat as you a year ago. I was originally a member of the Class of 2015, but I left right before taking the Oath on I-Day. You really need to think this through, and think hard. This is an extremely tough decision. You do not want to be looking back later on in life saying you had made the wrong decision. Unfortunately, I had made that wrong decision on I-Day because my emotions got the best of me. I hope you do not make that same decision I had done. Although USNA is not for everyone, I believe that if you think nice and hard, you will know what you really, truly want in life. I had sent in my acceptance and then I got scared. But one should be nervous/scared, this is something entirely different than you have been doing your entire life. Heck, even when I dropped out and then left for my civilian school, I was still nervous! That is just what comes with doing new things.

    I hope you think about this, and please do what you want! Take others' ideas and thoughts, but in the end it is all about you!
     
  11. NavyHoops

    NavyHoops Moderator

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    RedBull glad you are thinking about this long and hard and seeking out different points of view. That shows a good level of maturity and thought, all good traits of a future Naval Officer. Just one point you made above about returning to your "real life"... USNA and your future life as a Naval Officer will become your real life. I think a great deal of parents can attest to the fact they watched their Mids change from plebe year coming back and getting that sick feeling to being excited to returning "home" (as in USNA becomes their home) and their friends. If you are close to your family now, you always will be. In fact you will probably become closer, especially during this time of transition between being a kid to a young adult finding their way in life and even starting your own family down the road. Glad you are giving this some thought and good luck!
     
  12. MIDNDAD

    MIDNDAD Member

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    Red Bull
    I agree with all the previous posters. This is about you and it's your decision. The Naval Academy is a place where you have want to be there and go there. If in your heart you really do not want to be there you will find a way to fail or quit.

    That said: you currently have the golden ticket in your hand to one of the most unique and respected educations that money can't buy. Any other college you buy your way into with money, the service academies are "free" but only a few 'earn" their way into them. You mentioned you are currently in college so you have "typical college experiences" under your belt. The following are just some of the highlight experiences my former mid had over her 4 years:

    - Was in the presence of the President of the United States on 4 separate occasions. On two she almost got close enough to shake his hand.

    -Was invited to the Supes. tailgate party as a Firsty where she sat down with 3 former Secretaries of State and was asked about her opinions of world affairs over sandwiches and beer. She thought 2 were very cool while the third was an ***.

    - Was on a ship that was struck by lightning, flew a trainer aircraft, drove a sub for 3 hours, found she loved to be in positions of leadership and was good at it. Played for Navy in Div I Rugby, Achieved her dream of becoming a Marine.

    - The lifelong friendships she met and made while at the Academy. How these friendships have led to other friendships in the Marine Corps and the networking that goes on today among graduates.

    Does your college let you do that?

    A service academy education and following military service is one of the most unique experiences any young person can have. There are great rewards but also great sacrifices that can come with this path. It' s not for everyone and I wish you the best in your choice.
     
  13. profsparrow

    profsparrow Member

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    Just a quick note from a former AD military member. As a civilian you won't get the vacation benefits that the Navy gives you after graduation. You get 30 days of paid vacation each year, plus holidays (when you aren't deployed). Plenty of time to visit your family. I know of very few people, myself included, that don't regret getting out of the service... Education benefits that are now transferrable to children, vacation, opportunity to travel all over the world. Not to mention a community of fellow service members that share your interests. You have an automatic connection with your fellow service members that just seldom happens in civilian life. Going to USNA isn't just about education, and it shouldn't be, it's about beginning a life and career as a member of the finest fighting force that the world has ever known. GOOD LUCK!
     
  14. 2012mom?

    2012mom? Member

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    redbull: I commend you for thinking this through before making your formal commitment to the Navy on I-day. I am sure that your parents are very excited about your appointment, and they have probably told all their friends about it. That sort of excitement can put a lot of pressure on appointees to "go through with it," even if they decide before I-day that USNA is not right place to go. Take your time, think carefully about your educational AND career options before making your decision.

    You are right that USNA is 24/7. You can't just decide at the last moment to hop in your car and head off somewhere for a weekend. A close family friend had to remain at USNA when his mom was having serious surgery. My Mid had to remain at USNA when a grandparent was dying (although she was allowed to come home for the funeral). The four years at USNA are, a "free" education paid for by nine years of very hard work. That's the bad news, as you probably know.

    However, there's an awful lot of good news, too. Most of my Mid's classes have 10-20 Mids in them. Her profs know her by name, and she has never had to take a class from a TA. The academic support system is tremendous. My Mid's roommate once met with a prof on SUNDAY MORNING for extra instruction, because that's the only time they could get together. Try asking for that anywhere else.

    My Mid, through Glee Club, has traveled across the continental US, and to Hawaii and Brazil. She has performed live for the current President several times, and she has had a personal conversation with President George HW Bush. She has done aerobatics in a trainer jet, been on the conn of a missile sub, and she has flown in a V-22 while sitting on the (open) loading ramp.

    Most importantly, she has made many eternal friendships.

    All that said, it really comes down to your desire to lead Sailors or Marines. If that's not your #1 desire, USNA is not the right place for you.

    Best wishes to you, no matter your decision.
     
  15. Spud

    Spud BGO

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    Well, Red, now that everybody has given you a big group hug and kissed you on the cheek, let me offer you a slice of reality pie. Quit. Now. You are motivated by nothing more than comfort and time off and will not last 30 days of Plebe Summer. Once the Detailers get a sniff of your wimpy attitude, they will make short work of you. I would not want your attitude working for me, over me, or as a roommate. There are at least 9 other guys nominated by your congressman who would give their family jewels to go. Get out of the way and let someone who REALLY wants it, to go. You like the sweetness of civilian college life?------keep it up. Nobody will miss you.
     
  16. billyb

    billyb Member

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    This is what caught my eye and probably the root issue. I hope I am wrong, but I would ask you to think heavily about giving up an opportunity for a girlfriend. That sounds crass, but that is exactly what my wife did. She was accepted into a vet school program, but chose to go somewhere close to be near her boyfriend. Hint: I wasn't the guy she followed and they only lasted a couple of months into college. She regrets that decision to this day. That is how it usually turns out.

    You have a wonderful opportunity in front of you. If this really has to do with the girlfriend and it is true love, it will still work out.
     
  17. RedBull237

    RedBull237 Member

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    Well Spud, I'm afraid my decision (and anyone else's in my shoes) is a bit more complicated than my "wimpiness." Everyone knows it's a tough transition from civilian college to a service academy; that is my point. I am by no means anything you said here. I re-applied while still experiencing a normal college experience because regardless of what was going on around me, I still thought about and obsessed over USNA. Although I appreciate the "bad cop" tactic, which I hope it is, I am by no means weak nor a wimp. This is purely to make sure if and when I go, then I stay and thrive there. I do not want to go in wishy-washy and just leave, then being the wimp that you stated. USNA is not for everyone, you know this. I am motivated by much more than nothing. That's what got me to this position in the first place.

    All points people have brought up are great, and I thoroughly appreciate the time you have all taken to drop wisdom on me. I've realized I'm afraid of the unknown, and sure maybe you're right, maybe my girlfriend does have something to do with it, but you bring up an awesome point that if its true love, then it will still work out.

    I realize that the experiences and opportunities that USNA can offer me can be found no where else, let alone a civilian college. This thread has strengthened my thoughts to go. I need to wrap my head around everything completely and make sure I'm 100% in this when I do go on I-Day. Like I said before, if I'm "iffy" going in, well that's not going to work out. Your posts all truly help.

    Thanks again for the knowledge and wisdom, it's much appreciated. Except for Spud. Well maybe him/her also helped...
     
  18. Packer

    Packer Member

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  19. osdad

    osdad Member

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    I recall talking to a 1/C at an Academy forum I attended when my Youngster was considering the NA. One of the things that stuck is that her view of her friends changed dramatically once she go into NA. Of the large group of BFF's she had in HS most had dropped to acquaintances by Herndon; retaining only a very few. Her closest friends were now her shipmates - and she was perfectly happy with that.

    Long story short: the same thing happened to my daughter. When she does come home, she'll spend time with family and just a handful of HS friends.

    Can't say if that would be your pattern as each person is different but it certainly was for these two.
     
  20. falconchic88

    falconchic88 Member

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    I think you are doing the right thing to vet all your feelings now, so you are 100% ready on I-day. My son was worried about losing the time with his girlfriend too. He's a youngster now, and she's a 4 deg at USAFA. They are still going strong after 3 yrs.

    I also think Spud helped you more than you realize :wink:
     

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