Telling your parents

MY Story

I have seen a lot of parents telling thier tale of when their child told them that they wanted to attend a SA. As a freshmen in high school I remeber deciding in 5th grade that I was going to USNA. After recently visiting my uncle that year he, a grad from there himself, took my mother sister, and I on an impromptu tour of the Yard. He told a few stories and I have been mezmerized (spell check) ever since. After that trip, I told my parents at age 11 that I was going to USNA. When I told my father he smiled, hugged me, and said, "Okay." My mother was reserved and just nodded her head. I even told my priest that 5th grade year. He asked me what high school I planned on going to. I said that I didn't know what high school but I knew that I was going to attend USNA. He laughed then looked at me and nodded his head in approval. I still plan, ok pray and dream, about attending the Naval Academy. I continue to discuss it with my parents plus the carrer choice I plan to make. My family has a military history. My father was in the Navy while my uncle, the USNA grad, and grandfather were in the Marine Corps. I am proud of this history and intend to honor it.
 
I didn't know about service academies until i was freshman in high school. Immediately after learning about the SA ( I was gonna enlist when I turned 18 but I new that would leave me estranged with my parents) I told them I wanted to attend. Reaction: HUGE Argument! My parents are first generation immigrants and when I even slightly suggested that I was "interested" in attending a SA they got extremely upset! I'm a junior right now and I still haven't been able to get through to them... (I made USAFA SS and am waiting for NASS but when I told them they yelled at me said why did i even bother wasting my time)

I am at my wits end as to what to do. I have explained to them why I want to go and all the opportunities a SA can offer but they still don't understand...I even laid out all the facts but they still refuse to support me...any suggestions to get through to such stubborn parents?
 
lil3laiin3laiin, My heart goes out to you. I can't even imagine not supporting my sons in their quest to achieve their dreams and goals. Both of my sons (18 and 11) have wanted to be Marine Officers, and my older son knew he wanted to go to USNA when he was in 5th grade. I have had so many parents (mostly moms) asking me how I can support them in their decisions to go to a USNA, and to be Marine Officers. For me it's easy. I'm extremely proud of them, especially watching both of them sacrifice and work so hard to achieve their goals. Parents are going to be worried about their children no matter what they do, but you have to support them and love them no matter what. You could ask them (respectfully) if they were supported in their decisions throughtout their lives, and if they achieved their goals. Ask them to be open minded, but that you would very much like their support. They obviously could have had a child grow up drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. What if someone had told them not to come to the US? Would they have listened? Again, my heart goes out to you. I'm very passionate about this subject. We have raised our sons to always go after their goals, don't let anyone talk them out of it. We have also told them not to try and change anyone elses (girlfriend, fiance, wife) decisions. If you love them, then support them. I pray your parents come around and try to be open minded. Keep the faith and you will be fine.
 
lil3laiin3laiin said:
I didn't know about service academies until i was freshman in high school. Immediately after learning about the SA ( I was gonna enlist when I turned 18 but I new that would leave me estranged with my parents) I told them I wanted to attend. Reaction: HUGE Argument! My parents are first generation immigrants and when I even slightly suggested that I was "interested" in attending a SA they got extremely upset! I'm a junior right now and I still haven't been able to get through to them... (I made USAFA SS and am waiting for NASS but when I told them they yelled at me said why did i even bother wasting my time)

I am at my wits end as to what to do. I have explained to them why I want to go and all the opportunities a SA can offer but they still don't understand...I even laid out all the facts but they still refuse to support me...any suggestions to get through to such stubborn parents?
Click to expand...

I do not know where you live, but if you can get them to come and visit the Academy, especially on a weekday and see a formation or a parade and go to the admissions office presentation, I think all their obvious fears will go away.
 
You don't need 'em man. Sure it helps and is really nice, but I got accepted with zero parental support.

In retrospect, I played the BGO interview off as extremely unimportant, and told them to play nice. That was the only real interaction they had with my process.

Now that I have been accepted, it's hard to tell them I am going there, but the way I see it: I did it myself, I'm 18, it's time for me to reap the rewards of my work. They can stand by me or not, but I'm going either way.

That kind of ultimatum is working, my Dad has already come around to my side, and my mom is nearly there! So just get 'er done yourself, and then get their support.
 
NYCUSNA2012 said:
...although they are not 100% happy. (Dad wants me to go to a better civilian college and mom doesn't like the fact that I will be in uniform 24/7).
Click to expand...


I would mention to your Dad, that the "better civial college" list is very short and very expensive and tell your Mom she does not have to worry about a bunch of college outfits, they will all be provided.
 
My son grew up knowing he wanted to attend the Naval Academy and become a Marine officer. I just thought it was one of those "I want to be a fireman when I grow up" things. I was totally shocked when it came to applying to colleges and USNA was at the top of his list, but he remained adamant and I decided it was time for me to learn more about his top choice.

The more I read and learned the more I was able to understand why the Naval Academy appealed to him so much. The way I see it now is that it is the best fit for him (I know that feeling might change as soon as we hand him over on I-Day). As a parent there comes a time when you have to step back and stop imposing your dreams on your child, as long as their choice is not criminal, of course.

Parents worry, that's our job. Watching the news and hearing about the Chinese surrounding a Navy ship or the N. Koreans preparing to launch a "satellite" doesn't help. However, civilian colleges come with plenty of their own dangers and there's no guaranty of a job at the end of it.
 
To JerryB76: I live in socal

to Twinter: Congratulations! U must've had it really hard having to do everything yourself...I really want to go so I've started preparing and everything....i hope i can get through to my parents but as of right now they threatened me yesterdat to send letters to each branch and tell them to not to consider me...lol...but anyways congratulations...

AZMOM: Thank you!
 
lil3laiin3laiin said:
To JerryB76: I live in socal
Maybe you should show them some YouTube videos ab outr the Academies, or an old movie or two. Also there is a show that was done on the Discovery Military Channel called "Inside America's Military Academies" which is excellent. It has three parts, the first is about the First summer and year, the seconfd is called "No Time Off for the Summer" and is about all the summer training, the last segment is called "Making Leaders" and is about the leadership development over the four years. It covers USNA, USMA, USCGA, and USAFA, they do not mention USMMA unfortunately, but you get a good understanding of what goes on thru the whole 4 years of education and leadership development.

Take them down to a visit ship at the Naval Station or the new Carrier Museum, which I believe is down on Broad Street.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
 
My parents sent a letter to the Naval Academy saying I did not have the discipline to succeed. As soon as I found out, I wrote to them that my parents are scared, and sent the letter because they were worried about me. I was assured that there was no problem, and that they would discount the letter.

If you're 18 there isn't much your parents can do to stop you.
 
TWinter, I feel so sorry for you! I can definitely understand that they are scared, they wouldn't be good parents if they weren't. But this is a bit extreme. Have your parents come around at all? Hang in there!
 
TWinter said:
My parents sent a letter to the Naval Academy saying I did not have the discipline to succeed. As soon as I found out, I wrote to them that my parents are scared, and sent the letter because they were worried about me. I was assured that there was no problem, and that they would discount the letter.

If you're 18 there isn't much your parents can do to stop you.
Click to expand...

wow..okay....are u going to USNA straight out of high school?
 
Twinter, keep the faith. If you come to USNA, and if things are still iffy with your family, you will find open arms from classmates' families, the midshipman sponsor program out in town and many others who will welcome you and provide you support.

We had a sponsor daughter from USNA '04 who had a troubled family, not a place where she felt welcome anymore, and she realized as an adult, you get to choose and make new family relationships. She is as dear a daughter as someone related by blood to us. We met at the Plebe Sponsor mixer, totally random assignment.

Not quite your case, obviously, and you should never put bricks in the wall others might be building, but let your actions and achievements prove the rightness of your decision, and all will probably come right at the end.

Just wanted to tell you all the services have a great tradition of adopting the young'uns and bringing them into the family. You won't be alone.:smile:
 
Twinter,

First congratulations on first gaining acceptance into the United States Naval Academy. This is a huge accomplishment. You should be very proud of yourself. :smile:
Now second, telling your parents will be difficult. Telling mine was a challenge as well. I come from an Army family and turning Navy was suprising to them.(They are our football enemy, LOL) But seriously, at first they were kind of suprised but they were supportive. They helped me fill out my paperwork, took me to physicals, but one moment stood out in my mind.
One day, my dad took me to Annapolis for a campus visit. We saw the campus by ourselves and then we went to a tour guide meeting. My dad was in uniform so it was obvious that I had a "green" background. Also what was obvious was that I was both the only minority and the only female in the group. Another intimidating factor, but not one I would let limit me.
When the tour guide, an Navy Ensign ended his presentation, my dad, an Army Major, asked him a few questions about the school and his experience there. Then the Ensign asked me a question, "Why do you want to go to Navy? Don't you want to go to your fathers almna matter, West Point?". I wasn't surpised to hear this question, I was just suprised to hear it from a person who was supposed to bring students into the Academy. But irregarlessly, I responed by saying, " I prefer Naval Academy because I like more of the sea than the land as well as I would like to follow my fathers footsteps as an Officer but as I would prefer to make my own imprint in military history in the Navy rather than the Army."
Those words were the quickest I could come up with and it seemed to settle the Ensigns question. He handed me a few extra guide books about the Naval Academy and even let me speak with a few Marine Corps recruiters.
When my dad and I left, he said to me, that he was proud to have me as his daughter and that he would support me whether I went to the Naval Academy or not.
And to this day that is still true as I prepare to enter the Naval Academy Prepatory School this summer and hopefully the Naval Academy in June 2010. Tell your parents of your decision. If they support you, they support you. If they don't support you, then you've got a whole new family awaiting you at Annapolis. Times will be tough there but just remember that you've got your family, biological or surrogate.

GOD BLESS!!!!
 
My dad introduced me to the Naval Academy. I had been wanting to Enlist in the Marines since I was ten and he always supported it, my dad was a corpsmen for 16 years. At the beginning of my junior year I asked if he would sign my DEP papers and he told me to look at the Academy instead. So I did and he's always supported my decision to accomplish the goal of becoming a Midshipmen.

So all in all I would just tell them, give a reason, and thats that. If they don't support you off the bat; they will soon enough cause they'll see its what you want and what you want to accomplish. No parent wants to see their child fail.
 
nurseypoo said:
A year and a half go by and he wants to go to "Academy Night." I take him, he talks to all of them, then tells me "Mom, I want to go to the Naval Academy." From that point on, everything, and I mean EVERYTHING was geared towards USNA.

The only weirdness was when he received his appointment(s), one to USNA and the other to USAFA. All of my husbands AF cronies were "Why Navy?" Husband's reply was, "Why not? It is/was our son's choice."


Okay, my curiousity has gotten the best of me!! Why Navy? What was the deciding factor (s) in your son chosing Navy over Air Force? I would love to know. I'm a 'rent also.
Click to expand...
 
nurseypoo said:
A year and a half go by and he wants to go to "Academy Night." I take him, he talks to all of them, then tells me "Mom, I want to go to the Naval Academy." From that point on, everything, and I mean EVERYTHING was geared towards USNA.

The only weirdness was when he received his appointment(s), one to USNA and the other to USAFA. All of my husbands AF cronies were "Why Navy?" Husband's reply was, "Why not? It is/was our son's choice."
Click to expand...


Okay, my curiousity has gotten the best of me!! Why Navy? What was the deciding factor (s) in your son chosing Navy over Air Force? I would love to know. I'm a 'rent also.
 
Last edited:
TWinter said:
My parents sent a letter to the Naval Academy saying I did not have the discipline to succeed. As soon as I found out, I wrote to them that my parents are scared, and sent the letter because they were worried about me. I was assured that there was no problem, and that they would discount the letter.

If you're 18 there isn't much your parents can do to stop you.
Click to expand...

It is obvious to me that you are disciplined. How else would you have worked out your school situation as well as you did. You know what you want and I am sure that with or without your parents support you will have a plethora of psuedo-family that will fill the gap. Keep your eye on the target.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top