The Military Girl Stereotype

Along the military girl questions, I must ask, is it hard for females at SA's to put up with the guys? I know that even nice guys tend to get a little weird around girls sometimes, and my only thought is that since females are in the minority at SA's, we might have to put up with quite a bit of crap from the dudes....
Bless my parents; they are moving very close to USAFA (to get good land, not be closer to me) and have offered their home as a getaway for myself and some other female cadets for if we need it next year to escape the dominant male society for a bit...which I have a feeling we will.
I must say, I am glad to hear that a girl in the military can still maintain her feminine side while doing her job well. I was planning on getting a pedicure a month or so before basic as a last girly hoopla before I have to become one of the guys for six weeks haha!
 
I don't think so. Granted, USAFA is bigger than USCGA, so maybe it's different there. I think we got a little protective of our females. I didn't get along with every female (or every guy) and we weren't all friends, but still, that's like "family" and you don't let people mess with your family.

My first unit was all male. We said and did things that.... were not entirely sensitive, in mixed company. Eventually we found out we would be joined by female officers. Well, we had to reconsider our language (this was a ship... so it was certainly salty). I'm not saying we were sexist or anything, but we worried about "sensitivities," and how our new females might react to endless F-bombs.

I just finished a book about woman in bluegrass called "Pretty Good for a Girl" written by a great banjo player named Murhpy Henry. The concerns women had in the book are the same kind you're talking about. You'll have a closer look at how competitive guys can be, and it may be eye opening. Some things may annoy or disgust you, and other things you may be totally at home with. Either way, you're not the first female they've met or seen and you'll be fine.

My advice, take what you give and give what you take. Do the same work, be willing to ask for help and be willing to help others. While I dated a few girls at CGA (and was therefore obviously attracted to some), we were wearing blue, together, and we were on the same team. I respected my female company commander just as I would a male company commander (and my female classmate was the Regimental Commander and a far better cadet than I ever hoped to be).
 
Bailey, good question.
Sadly whenever there are mixed gender situations (anywhere) there will always be times when someone is uncomfortable, or worse.
But that being said, having sent both a son and daughter to USAFA, I can tell you they both report exactly the same thing....

There is remarkably little "crap" from the guys. In fact, most of them are fiercely protective of their female squadmates; very sister-like relationships. Remember that, like you, these are an amazing group of moral young people that are pre-disposed to serve and protect. Woe betide the young man who's foolish enough to mess with these guys "sisters". :)
 
MedB said:
There is remarkably little "crap" from the guys. In fact, most of them are fiercely protective of their female squadmates; very sister-like relationships. Remember that, like you, these are an amazing group of moral young people that are pre-disposed to serve and protect. Woe betide the young man who's foolish enough to mess with these guys "sisters". :)
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Absolutely. Even after you graduate.... some of that remains. You're in the minority, but it's not an extreme minority. You won't be exotic. There won't be Zoomies, dragging their fists and scratching their heads "What is dat? Zoomie see zoomie with long hair. Zoomie not know what dis is."

You'll be fine.
 
LineInTheSand said:
Absolutely. Even after you graduate.... some of that remains. You're in the minority, but it's not an extreme minority. You won't be exotic. There won't be Zoomies, dragging their fists and scratching their heads "What is dat? Zoomie see zoomie with long hair. Zoomie not know what dis is."

You'll be fine.
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Haha, before my brother got a wife, that was him in the Army. I remember getting a letter from him during his basic training that said (and I quote):
"today, we saw...females! It's been so long that even the Army females seem hot!"
 
We called that "academy goggles." I'm guessing that's not entirely PC, but at the time it was in CGA's Running Light.
 
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Think about it this way, USAFA has had female and male cadets almost twice as long as it hasn't.

It has been 39 years since the first class of women were allowed to attend the federal service academies....

U.S. Military Academy
1802-1976 ALL MALE (174 years)
1976-2015 MALE AND FEMALE (39 years)

U.S. Naval Academy
1845-1976 ALL MALE (131 years)
1976-2015 MALE AND FEMALE (39 years)

U.S. Coast Guard Academy
1876-1976 ALL MALE (100 years)
1976-2015 MALE AND FEMALE (39 years)

U.S. Merchant Marine Academy
1943-1976 ALL MALE (33 years)
1976-2015 MALE AND FEMALE (39 years)

U.S. Air Force Academy
1956-1976 ALL MALE (20 years)
1976-2015 MALE AND FEMALE (39 years)
 
OP, before I went to USAFA, I heard all the remarks as well. I used to tell anyone that gave me crap, I was going to a college with a 10-1 ratio of some of the most in shape, smartest men in the country, I was bound to find a husband! That usually shut them up. As far as the "dating stigma", I was good friends with a cadet in my squadron that used to always tell me he would never date a "cadet chic". I told him never say never. He married one. Me. His best friend used to tease him pretty harshly about dating me. But that all changed when he, too, started dating a "cadet chic", whom he married. We are both still married, the four of us are all still great friends, and our children became friends. So, these guys might talk a big talk, but there really are more there that end up dating/marrying fellow cadets than you would think by hearing the stories.

My entire 4 yrs at USAFA, I never had a problem with the way I was treated by my fellow male cadets. Most of them were like my brothers. While there, I always tried to maintain my femininity, but I made a point to NEVER use being a female as an excuse for anything. Just be yourself. It seems the types of female cadets the males had the most problems with were the ones that 1. Used being a girl as an excuse to get out of things, or 2. Thought they had something to prove because they were female and went out of their way to be GI Jane.
 
Love all these insights as my DD embarks on this new journey of being in the military.
 
falconchic88 said:
OP, before I went to USAFA, I heard all the remarks as well. I used to tell anyone that gave me crap, I was going to a college with a 10-1 ratio of some of the most in shape, smartest men in the country, I was bound to find a husband! That usually shut them up. As far as the "dating stigma", I was good friends with a cadet in my squadron that used to always tell me he would never date a "cadet chic". I told him never say never. He married one. Me. His best friend used to tease him pretty harshly about dating me. But that all changed when he, too, started dating a "cadet chic", whom he married. We are both still married, the four of us are all still great friends, and our children became friends. So, these guys might talk a big talk, but there really are more there that end up dating/marrying fellow cadets than you would think by hearing the stories.

My entire 4 yrs at USAFA, I never had a problem with the way I was treated by my fellow male cadets. Most of them were like my brothers. While there, I always tried to maintain my femininity, but I made a point to NEVER use being a female as an excuse for anything. Just be yourself. It seems the types of female cadets the males had the most problems with were the ones that 1. Used being a girl as an excuse to get out of things, or 2. Thought they had something to prove because they were female and went out of their way to be GI Jane.
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Great story.

We would call it "dark siding" and might say "in blue, not for you." That's pretty early on though, when it still feels weird.

I think the hardest thing about "dark siding" wasn't that it was some "chick in uniform" but that you all lived in the same building. Don't get me wrong, living in the same building as your girlfriend can be great.... until she's no longer you're girlfriend, she's dating someone else and you're right across the hall to see the new budding relationship (yes, that has happened to me, HAHAHA). There's no getting away. Now.... that's not unique to males or females.... it affects both....but it was also a big reason many didn't date other cadets.
 
USNA it is also dark siding. And totally agree LITS, it wasn't necessarily that is what a woman in uniform, its someone you live, work and go to school with and will likely run into several times a day. That can get awkward for some when relationships go south. But we are all adults and can figure out how to make it work. And yes those who always said they would never date a Femid always seemed to be the ones who somehow fell for one or married one! I honestly think that although the jokes are still there, the stigma is not nearly as bad as it was when I was there or even before about dating within the Brigade.
 
My DD is anything but manly...lol, that is funny :) And being the only girl with three younger brothers she gets along great with all the guys. She is not into drama and hangs out with the guys a lot.
 
Squad-cest is really just a joke phrase (at least for most of the squads I am familiar with). There are four solid relationships right now in my squad, and there is no stigma at all. Two are graduating this year and getting married.
 
AFrpaso said:
Squad-cest is really just a joke phrase (at least for most of the squads I am familiar with). There are four solid relationships right now in my squad, and there is no stigma at all. Two are graduating this year and getting married.
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Not saying it doesn't happen! Haha! Just discouraged, probably for the reasons LITS mentioned.
 
At USAFA, cadets are allowed to date within the same squadron, at USNA, however, mids in the same company are not allowed to date. If a couple begins a relationship from the same company, one of them has to "Love Chit" into a different company. I'm guessing for the reasons LITS mentioned.
 
falconchic88 said:
As far as the "dating stigma", I was good friends with a cadet in my squadron that used to always tell me he would never date a "cadet chic". I told him never say never. He married one. Me. His best friend used to tease him pretty harshly about dating me. But that all changed when he, too, started dating a "cadet chic", whom he married. We are both still married, the four of us are all still great friends, and our children became friends. So, these guys might talk a big talk, but there really are more there that end up dating/marrying fellow cadets than you would think by hearing the stories.
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So, it's like Twain said? "Familiarity breeds contempt and ... cadating."
 
NavyHoops said:
The funny part is this weekend I went to get a pedicure and the only other person who was in there was a guy getting manicure in a USMA shirt... Hmmm... Got a good chuckle out of that. All jokes aside, I convinced half the Lts to get a pedicure after deployment and they all agreed it was the best thing ever for torn up boot feet after 10.5 months!

Obviously he will need to replace that shirt with a Army West Point shirt!
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DD is applicant to USMA 2019 and still waiting to hear news of admission. I browse all of the forums so I can be familiar with all the news and it helps to learn what is expected of SA appointees. Thank you for serving our country. I got a chuckle and enjoyed your humor with these comments: (one even married a West Pointer. At least their kids have only experienced Navy wins!) &" Obviously he will need to replace that shirt with a Army West Point shirt" Keep up your good sense of humor! Thanks again.
 
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