Thoughts

Discussion in 'Life After the Academy' started by Zaltana35, Mar 28, 2014.

  1. Zaltana35

    Zaltana35 New Member

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    I've noticed that on this thread post that most people support each other. Through the application process, admissions, and all the stuff in-between. This is great there is a wonderful sense of community that exists. But what happens when someone decides to leave this community? Or the community that is a service academy. It seems to me it's like that song "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again." The song goes: " When Johnny comes marching home again,Hurrah! Hurrah!We'll give him a hearty welcome then
    Hurrah! Hurrah!The men will cheer and the boys will shout
    The ladies they will all turn out And we'll all feel gay when Johnny comes marching home." Everyone is excited when they get into an Academy and go. I'm not going to shoot that down because it is a great accomplishment but what if they're not happy there? What if they want to come home? What if they're sent home? It seems to me that everyone that cheered and supported them turns their back on them. No matter what they did. I say this because one of my friends was sent home from USNA over something bad he did 2 years ago and another friend separated from West Point a semester before graduation. He (USNA) committed an honor offense and a conduct offense as a senior by lying about where he was over a trip. He lost most his friends, his support of his companymates, and his girlfriend. His life spiraled out of control with drug use and now he's been to rehab and is trying to get back on track.My West Point friend has been in college and plans to enlist when the military isn't being cut down so badly. He barley talks about West Point anymore. For him it hurts too much. What I'm trying to say is, the people you guys support on this website are people. They are imperfect and human. They should have your support both in and out of a service academy if they are important in your lives. One mistake, does not make them trash.
     
  2. mom3boys

    mom3boys Parent

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    You make some interesting points. Much of your concerns go back to the purpose of the page. This forum gives advice and encouragement to those seeking appointment (for the most part...there are other purposes). Pages do exist for those who leave academies, to lend support, give advice, etc. Those are typically very private pages, not open to the public. I know West Point Moms have a page for moms of separated cadets, whether they separate voluntarily or not.

    Separation is a redirection of life. It's not always a bad thing, but is certainly viewed as one by many. As parents, we get so into the SA hype...we go to Rday and buy all the paraphernalia necessary to deck ourselves and the house in academy gear. Many forget this journey is for our kids, not us. While there should be no shame to leave by one's own choosing, there is a stigma involved in leaving at the request of the academy. It takes a strong person with a strong support system to navigate that difficult path. Your friends are fortunate to have you to help them through their tough times.
     
  3. My3Sons2017

    My3Sons2017 Member

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    Zaltana35 you bring up a GREAT point, BUT this attitude of rejection can not be singled out with prior "service academy" cadets who separate (for whatever reason). This behavior permeates our society as a whole and is not purely a service academy issue. The guy with the most $$$ always has tons of friends and support along with any other person who appears to be on top of the world. It really hurts when you find out who your true friends "are" or "are not" when life gets tough. Sometimes we bring it on ourselves and there are consequences for our behavior, BUT hopefully we have picked our friends well and we have that support system we need to get through the times even when we have made a mistake. It sounds like you love and support your friends well and they should consider themselves fortunate.
     
  4. Zaltana35

    Zaltana35 New Member

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    Thanks guys. I put this up on the USNA page. No one responded yet. I think I may put it up on USCGA, USAFA, and USMMA. I just want to make sure that people think and realize who they are pushing you know. The person, not the cadet/midshipman. There really is a different mentality at every service academy. And it does extend to outside service academies. You will definetly know who your real friends are when you hit rock bottom. I think we all hit it someday whether it's being kicked out of your dream school or waking up somewhere you don't remember coming to. It's in those moments we can build ourselves up or crumble. And the people who do it with you or push you or encourage you, you know will be there for you.
     
  5. djms19

    djms19 Member

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    I think you would find most (nearly all) those on this forum to be more supportive and understanding to those in this situation then the average person.
     
  6. USMCGrunt

    USMCGrunt Member

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    I think the ease at which a computer allows a single user to cut and copy text creates an opportunity to post a single thought across multiple forums in a relatively short time frame.
     
  7. Zaltana35

    Zaltana35 New Member

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    Really? How so? I mean from what I've seen recently, it's all about the applicants and the praise they get when they get into USAFA.
     
  8. kdc246

    kdc246 Member

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    Sent you a PM Zaltana35.
     
  9. Christcorp

    Christcorp Member

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    We all know the academies aren't for everyone. We also know some will drop out or get kicked out. And the majority here will support those. But the fact is, this is an academy, ROTC, prep school based forum. Those who don't make it in or stay in rarely stick around theforum. Its like being a Ford Mustang forum and a member sells their car and buys a tToyota. Nothing wrong with that, but they don't normally stay on the forum.

    So I wouldn't agree that we don't support those who don't stay in the academy. Its just that most of them no longer stay on the forum.
     
  10. -Bull-

    -Bull- Member

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    I think that if they wanted support they would be the ones copying and pasting text on forums, not their friend with no tie to an SA....
     
  11. andzgrl

    andzgrl Member

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    Granted, I have only been a part of this forum for a few months, but during that time I have come across threads of people leaving their respective Academies...both voluntarily and involuntarily. I have seen nothing but support for the individuals who were brave enough to come to the forum seeking support and guidance.

    It's pretty difficult for the members of the forum to support someone who is no longer here, and by that I mean the people to whom you are referring.
     
  12. Stealth_81

    Stealth_81 Super Moderator Moderator Founding Member

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    I have merged your multiple threads into one and placed it in the "After the Academy" section. There is no need to start an identical thread for every forum.

    Stealth_81
     
  13. Stealth_81

    Stealth_81 Super Moderator Moderator Founding Member

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    In answer to your initial question, there are many people who leave the Academies for many reasons and they do just fine.

    My son has three good friends who left USAFA for either academic and honor problems. All three of them have gone on to other colleges and graduated. Two of those went on to grad school. Son is still friends with them and keeps in touch. Their families were all supportive and the parents continued to be welcomed into the 2011 Parent's Group.

    I am sorry your friend had issues after separation, but in every population there are going to be people who do because of circumstances. I have seen a lot more successes in separated cadets than ones with problems.

    Stealth_81
     
  14. GoArmyBeatNavy

    GoArmyBeatNavy Member

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    I've worked with a fellow field force member who was a former cadet. He eventually was commissioned through ROTC.

    He provides the candidates a great perspective on West Point as seen from someone who left but was still commissioned.
     
  15. Zaltana35

    Zaltana35 New Member

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    Thanks for the encouragement. It's nice to know that there are successes after service academy life. I mean, I started this just to make people think and to consider those that didn't make it commissioning day at a Service Academy. There are other great ways to commission or serve your country or be happy. I went to one myself (USNA) but found that it was not for me and I'm much happier as college student and EMT. Serving our country is great but you can do it in more ways than being a Midshipman or Cadet.
     
  16. Dixieland

    Dixieland Member

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    You seem to be new to this forum and community otherwise you would have seen many examples of support and encouragement for the forum members who have been separated or left their service academy or college. It has always been this forum's "motto" that there are many ways to commission and serve in the US armed forces.

    Hang around and search some of the archives and excellent discussions here and hopefully you won't feel like you need to chastise us again.
     
  17. aglages

    aglages Parent

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    I am confused. In your initial post I thought you were concerned about how your friends were treated after they left a SA. Now it seems you also left a SA. Why not post your own experience of what life was like after you left the USNA? I would think your own firsthand experiences would have more weight than second hand observations. JMPO...
     
  18. Zaltana35

    Zaltana35 New Member

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    My experiences were a lot different than their's. I left midway through Plebe Summer due to some family things. I took a semester off, became an EMT and now I'm nearly done with school and am taking the MCATs in a month. My friends got cut after they signed. One got into really bad drug use after being kicked out the other not so much but he still was pretty upset. I'm not meaning to chastize anyone at all. A lot of the people I see when I run my routes are homeless Veterans with their own drug/alcohol/PTSD addiction issues. They make up 1/3rd of the homeless population. No that's not the same as a Service Academy and being kicked out. I know that for sure. I'm not sure what I was trying to say earlier. This is why I'm a science person, not a writer full time. Just be there for the people in your life, with or without an Academy or the military or anything like that. When I wrote "Thoughts", I just wanted people to think. That's it. I guess since people answered this post then, mission accomplished.
     
  19. aglages

    aglages Parent

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    I guess everyone that cheered and supported you did not turn their backs on you. Perhaps that's more common than your "friends" experiences?
    Right. However resorting to abusing drugs after being dis-enrolled for committing an honor offense and a conduct offense as a senior does not necessarily indicate a pattern of making good choices either. I would say your friends are more responsible for their actions than anyone on this site or their family/friends.

    That said, thanks for reminding us that our sons, daughters, brothers, and sisters are people that are imperfect and human and deserve our support both in and out of a service academy if they are important in our lives. I tend to believe most of us knew that already, but maybe an occasional reminder is necessary....for some.
     
  20. educ8

    educ8 Member

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    I don't doubt what you stated in your post. However, Coincidentally just 17 hours ago on the West Point Moms Facebook page a mom posted that her son has voluntarily decided to separate from WP and the Army (no mention of an honor violation). The reaction could not have been more opposite than that of your experience. As of now, there are 72 positive and supportive posts and 272 "likes."
     

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