Thanks goalie dad. I remember your posts when we were awaiting the scholarship decision in 2010.
We are in total agreement that he is accountable or his actions and responsible going further. I know he does not understand the magnitude of the intuition he is in, but we certainly do. He says he accepts responsibility and plans on paying the money back. But the numbers just do not add up. It will be a very difficult almost impossible hole to dig out of for a recent grad.
Thanks gain.
Glad you finally came out of the lurking shadows after all these years, but sorry to hear the reason. You are absolutely correct about the numbers not adding up. I suspect you will need to be the mentor of a math class.
And might I suggest a first lesson... He needs to design a spreadsheet of his financial life. Hopefully, you have a good working knowledge of Excel, because it can get quite complicated, but if he puts it together, he will definitely have the tools necessary to avoid making a similar mistake with other large financial decisions in his life (buying a house, getting married and having children).
He needs to chart and track over time his assets, liabilities (i.e. big loan), income (both when he gets a job and that support he may receive from you) and expenses. I suggest separate tabs in the same workbook for each financial category. I can describe each.
Asset Tab (the simplest).
First column heading - Date (Month/Year)
Second column heading - Description of activity (make any notes about what is different besides the change in the values like traded in old car on new car)
Third column heading - Total Asset Value (use Sum across the rest of the row
Fourth through Nth column heading - Current Value of X (X being the description of any asset can be liquidated like bank account, car, cash in wallet, etc)
On this sheet, he keeps track of the value of his Assets making single line entries for each addition or subtraction from the value from that asset (e.g. payroll deposit into bank account, interest added to bank account, annual depreciation of car from KBB book value)
Liability Tab (just about as simple)
Same first and Second column headings
Third column heading - Total Liability Outstanding (sum across columns like on the Asset sheet)
Fourth through Nth column heading - Balance of Y (Y being the description of any collectable debt owed like the Military payback, car note, etc.)
On this Sheet he make entries each time the amount of a liability is decreased (or increased) - typically monthly outstanding balance after principal payment is applied.
Income Tab (not too hard either)
First and Second Columns (like the above)
Third column heading - total monthly income (sum across row)
Fourth through Nth column heading - Income Source (job, gift, tax refund, etc.)
One row per month (like the above detailing the total money coming in)
Expenses Tab (the tough one)
First and Second columns (like the above)
Third column heading - total monthly expenses (sum across row)
Fourth through Nth column heading - Description of the outflow of money (payment on Govt note, car payment, clothes, entertainment, etc.)
Like the others 1 row per month will do.
You can pre-populate rows for known values (use a payoff schedule for notes). You can also project out future income streams once he gets a job.
On a 5th tab, create a table with 5 columns (date, total assets from 1st tab by formula, total liabilities from 2nd tab by forumula, and net worth as the difference between the 2 previous columns. Create graph showing the series of Total Assets minus Total Liabilities (a basic net worth calculation - this one will hurt) over the time laid out on your charts. Hint as his bank account grows, the net worth will improve more than the original projection).
On a 6th tab, create a table with 5 columns (date, total income from 3rd tab (by formula), total expenses from 4th tab (by formula), and net cash flow (difference between previous 2 columns). Chart this on this tab. BTW, this figure should also calculate to be the same as the net increase/decrease in Assets in previous tab if all the accounting is done correctly.
It is up to him to fill this out and make it balance out. Welcome to Personal Accounting 101.
With regards to providing support, if you are going to do so, I suggest that it be in kind (Room and board) over cash. You get to choose the location (home or other). If he is living at home, hopefully he can serve as an example to his siblings of the consequences of ones own decisions in a positive light.
I am assuming here that you would have paid a certain amount for his college which Uncle Sam assumed for a while. Now that your son has created a situation where you will now need to pony up THAT amount, explain it to him as this is what I would have given you HAD you not received the scholarship, not as something that he gets for making a bad decision. You were giving him X percentage of his education. Here it is paid over time.
Hope this helps...